( sometimes the truth is harsher than anything one wants to hear.
if leaks had told him the truth, would he have believed him? would his brain have retained the information, even though it was something difficult to hear and to hold, simply because of the finality of it? asato could say that he never knew why the cats of kira hated him so, but that would be a bald lie. they had always been so honest in their loathing. it was his blood, tainted with that of the cursed meigi. it was his body, having been wrapped in the flesh of a monster upon birth. it was his mother, who had betrayed them for the enemy. it was his father, for being one of them.
he knew it, and yet he forces himself to not think about it. they have to be wrong. his parents committed taboo, yes, but that didn't make him a monster. the rumors of his birth were simply that: rumors fabricated to hurt him.
right? )
...No. ( he doesn't like to be lied to, even as he lies to himself.
he is free of his prison of yarn now, though he still feels entangled -- captured in the presence of this cat. his dark blue eyes narrow. ) You are still a cat. ( and that's what he means, even if leaks no longer wants to associate with the species that killed the only person he had ever loved. even bereft many of his emotions, he couldn't completely separate from that...
he can sense leaks isn't lying. and yet, he doesn't want to believe it. it makes no sense. if he hates konoe so much for such a nebulous reason, wouldn't he hate a cat so dedicated to him? and why on earth would he want that cat to hate him?
his gaze looks up to the string. his jaw sets, and his ears flatten. he doesn't like the feeling of feeling tempted, played with, especially in a conversation such as this. )
You... want to be hated? Is that why you did what you did?
( the sickness and the void... it was enough for any cat to hate him. they all suffered so much. )
no subject
if leaks had told him the truth, would he have believed him? would his brain have retained the information, even though it was something difficult to hear and to hold, simply because of the finality of it? asato could say that he never knew why the cats of kira hated him so, but that would be a bald lie. they had always been so honest in their loathing. it was his blood, tainted with that of the cursed meigi. it was his body, having been wrapped in the flesh of a monster upon birth. it was his mother, who had betrayed them for the enemy. it was his father, for being one of them.
he knew it, and yet he forces himself to not think about it. they have to be wrong. his parents committed taboo, yes, but that didn't make him a monster. the rumors of his birth were simply that: rumors fabricated to hurt him.
right? )
...No. ( he doesn't like to be lied to, even as he lies to himself.
he is free of his prison of yarn now, though he still feels entangled -- captured in the presence of this cat. his dark blue eyes narrow. ) You are still a cat. ( and that's what he means, even if leaks no longer wants to associate with the species that killed the only person he had ever loved. even bereft many of his emotions, he couldn't completely separate from that...
he can sense leaks isn't lying. and yet, he doesn't want to believe it. it makes no sense. if he hates konoe so much for such a nebulous reason, wouldn't he hate a cat so dedicated to him? and why on earth would he want that cat to hate him?
his gaze looks up to the string. his jaw sets, and his ears flatten. he doesn't like the feeling of feeling tempted, played with, especially in a conversation such as this. )
You... want to be hated? Is that why you did what you did?
( the sickness and the void... it was enough for any cat to hate him. they all suffered so much. )