[She shakes her head, running her fingers through her hair and gripping it tightly, curling in on herself somewhat]

N-no, it’s not that either. It’s just... [It’s just a lot of things, really] Killing would be... too easy... [None of them are really strangers to death, though Mikan can’t be sure who’s killed with their own hands before and who just murdered by proxy or something.

But Mikan had. Mikan had done it countless times and it got easier and easier every time.] I-I don’t want to go back to that. Wh-What if... what if it’s too easy again? What if I want to keep going? Wh-who’s going to stop me, a-and what if I can’t come back from it this time...!?