It would have been childish, like something written in a storybook, to believe changing that one aspect about himself would suddenly make everything better or turn it back to the way it was. Even if Allen is ever an idealist, he's not really an optimist either. He wears optimism like protective armor, but he's quite aware of how terrible the world is, how often terrible things happen, and that heroes don't always stop villains.
That heroes don't exist, honestly. He's never seen himself as one. There are just people who try their best, even when all the odds are stacked against them, for as long as they can until they cannot anymore. And that maybe the legacy they leave behind, however bittersweet, might inspire someone else to try even when they know all they'll ever receive for their efforts are kicks in the teeth. But maybe, just maybe, by doing that they can hope to try to make a difference and reduce the suffering. Even just a little; even just in one person's life.
That's how the world is.
But when Link looks at him like that, not even just shocked but almost like he's... lost? it's hard to tell, it's not an expression Allen's ever seen the normally composed Crow have? He... realizes he may have been hoping, even just a little, that this might finally be a Good Thing that's happened. Except that it isn't, not really.
Instead it feels like a hollow sort of thing too, no victory at all, that he would just wake up and find himself healed. No battle won, no answers, just... nothing. It's everything he wanted and yet, the moment Link stares at him like that... he actually hates it.
This isn't victory. It's just more unanswered questions—and even less that he understands about himself or his situation. ]
...mn. [ He looks away, with heavy eyes but an unreadable sort of expression, and he begins to button his shirt up again. Not woodenly, but his movements are quiet and somber now. Methodical. ]
There has to be someone else here. We can't be the only ones.
[ Unless he really did massively screw up with the Ark, but—that seems far, far less likely now. ]
can I say this thread just has me all /touches. your Link is SO GOOD
It would have been childish, like something written in a storybook, to believe changing that one aspect about himself would suddenly make everything better or turn it back to the way it was. Even if Allen is ever an idealist, he's not really an optimist either. He wears optimism like protective armor, but he's quite aware of how terrible the world is, how often terrible things happen, and that heroes don't always stop villains.
That heroes don't exist, honestly. He's never seen himself as one. There are just people who try their best, even when all the odds are stacked against them, for as long as they can until they cannot anymore. And that maybe the legacy they leave behind, however bittersweet, might inspire someone else to try even when they know all they'll ever receive for their efforts are kicks in the teeth. But maybe, just maybe, by doing that they can hope to try to make a difference and reduce the suffering. Even just a little; even just in one person's life.
That's how the world is.
But when Link looks at him like that, not even just shocked but almost like he's... lost? it's hard to tell, it's not an expression Allen's ever seen the normally composed Crow have? He... realizes he may have been hoping, even just a little, that this might finally be a Good Thing that's happened. Except that it isn't, not really.
Instead it feels like a hollow sort of thing too, no victory at all, that he would just wake up and find himself healed. No battle won, no answers, just... nothing. It's everything he wanted and yet, the moment Link stares at him like that... he actually hates it.
This isn't victory. It's just more unanswered questions—and even less that he understands about himself or his situation. ]
...mn. [ He looks away, with heavy eyes but an unreadable sort of expression, and he begins to button his shirt up again. Not woodenly, but his movements are quiet and somber now. Methodical. ]
There has to be someone else here. We can't be the only ones.
[ Unless he really did massively screw up with the Ark, but—that seems far, far less likely now. ]