[ But that doesn't make sense, Jin Zixuan is supposed to—
Wen Qing keeps speaking, and then it doesn't matter what happens to Jin Zixuan or by who. An accident— Didn't she say it was an accident? And yet they both— He sucks in a breath, sharp and panicked.
He knows well the hostility the world feels for the Qishan Wens. Feels it himself, like a sickness in his chest, choking the life from him with every bitter breath. Even an accident, the other sects would demand blood. Jiang Cheng rules Yunmeng Jiang, but he is only one sect. Those responsible for Jin Zixuan's fate, the one legitimate heir to Lanling Jin, would not be spared for any protest, not even if Jiang Cheng rallied Qinghe Nie and Gusu Lan behind him. Lanling Jin would sooner go to war again than bow.
And Qinghe Nie would not back him, not for this. Gusu Lan would fall in line behind the other two, ever law-abiding, ever favoring stability to turmoil.
Jiang Cheng imagines he would not have even spoken out, would have seen it all play out from beginning to end and held his tongue. The killer of his sister's husband, father of her infant child. How could he hurt her by speaking for those who brought her life to pieces?
But right now, right here, in Wen Qing's arms, listening to her swear to him, plead her case, he doesn't feel anything but his own coward's heart.
Of course he killed Wei Wuxian.
When has he ever done what was right over what was easy in his life?
He remembers the blame he cast at Wei Wuxian for involving himself in the cave with the beast, that he should have looked after his own and no one else.
You'll never be anything compared to him.
And he isn't. He isn't.
He isn't anything compared to Wei Wuxian.
His arms go around her in return, tight and desperate, letting out the kind of broken wail that comes from the bottom of his lungs. He sobs into her, rocking, so paralyzed with agony that he can't speak. He's helpless, completely helpless, unable to save anyone or anything. He can't even save himself. ]
No, [ he gasps between his cries, voice lost, but then— His anger returns, his grief sparking into fury. ] No!
[ He pulls himself off her, gripping her by the shoulders, his tear-streaked face fixing into a look of fierce determination. ]
I won't— I won't accept it! The future, or— Or your life!
You're here, aren't you? You're right here, and— Wei Wuxian is here, and I won't let it happen...! Any of it, do you understand...?!
no subject
Wen Qing keeps speaking, and then it doesn't matter what happens to Jin Zixuan or by who. An accident— Didn't she say it was an accident? And yet they both— He sucks in a breath, sharp and panicked.
He knows well the hostility the world feels for the Qishan Wens. Feels it himself, like a sickness in his chest, choking the life from him with every bitter breath. Even an accident, the other sects would demand blood. Jiang Cheng rules Yunmeng Jiang, but he is only one sect. Those responsible for Jin Zixuan's fate, the one legitimate heir to Lanling Jin, would not be spared for any protest, not even if Jiang Cheng rallied Qinghe Nie and Gusu Lan behind him. Lanling Jin would sooner go to war again than bow.
And Qinghe Nie would not back him, not for this. Gusu Lan would fall in line behind the other two, ever law-abiding, ever favoring stability to turmoil.
Jiang Cheng imagines he would not have even spoken out, would have seen it all play out from beginning to end and held his tongue. The killer of his sister's husband, father of her infant child. How could he hurt her by speaking for those who brought her life to pieces?
But right now, right here, in Wen Qing's arms, listening to her swear to him, plead her case, he doesn't feel anything but his own coward's heart.
Of course he killed Wei Wuxian.
When has he ever done what was right over what was easy in his life?
He remembers the blame he cast at Wei Wuxian for involving himself in the cave with the beast, that he should have looked after his own and no one else.
You'll never be anything compared to him.
And he isn't. He isn't.
He isn't anything compared to Wei Wuxian.
His arms go around her in return, tight and desperate, letting out the kind of broken wail that comes from the bottom of his lungs. He sobs into her, rocking, so paralyzed with agony that he can't speak. He's helpless, completely helpless, unable to save anyone or anything. He can't even save himself. ]
No, [ he gasps between his cries, voice lost, but then— His anger returns, his grief sparking into fury. ] No!
[ He pulls himself off her, gripping her by the shoulders, his tear-streaked face fixing into a look of fierce determination. ]
I won't— I won't accept it! The future, or— Or your life!
You're here, aren't you? You're right here, and— Wei Wuxian is here, and I won't let it happen...! Any of it, do you understand...?!
I won't lose anyone else important to me again!