[ eventually, he pulls himself properly together and steps around nie mingjue to settle down at one of the tables, adjusting his robes so he can sit comfortably. how can he have this conversation? what should he even tell him?
he nods, eventually, to nie mingjue's question, too. it's not, really. the idea of spilling his secrets seems impossible. he's kept them locked up for so long they're cemented to his very being. it's only recently that he's even remotely admitted to what happened. to wei wuxian--if i can do something, then i'll do it to its end.
at home, it's over. maybe he can start healing, there, but seeing his big brother alive and breathing has torn every piece of his composure open again, and he curls his fingers in his lap and stares at them, shoulders drooping, because if he looks at his brother for too long he'll cry, and lose any semblance of any dignity he might have. that's never stopped him before, but nie mingjue deserves to know what happens, even though nie huaisang can already predict his reaction. he can't blame him, either. ]
...da-ge. [ he starts, and it sounds so heavy on his tongue. so unfamiliar. so precious, the most important person in the world. ] What's the last thing you remember...? Before here.
continues to backtag you to all eternity
he nods, eventually, to nie mingjue's question, too. it's not, really. the idea of spilling his secrets seems impossible. he's kept them locked up for so long they're cemented to his very being. it's only recently that he's even remotely admitted to what happened. to wei wuxian--if i can do something, then i'll do it to its end.
at home, it's over. maybe he can start healing, there, but seeing his big brother alive and breathing has torn every piece of his composure open again, and he curls his fingers in his lap and stares at them, shoulders drooping, because if he looks at his brother for too long he'll cry, and lose any semblance of any dignity he might have. that's never stopped him before, but nie mingjue deserves to know what happens, even though nie huaisang can already predict his reaction. he can't blame him, either. ]
...da-ge. [ he starts, and it sounds so heavy on his tongue. so unfamiliar. so precious, the most important person in the world. ] What's the last thing you remember...? Before here.