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It doesn’t... make any sense to me. Not that what you experienced wasn’t real, or didn’t mean something, because— it clearly did.
[And it’s clearly had a lasting impact on him, which is heartbreaking in its own right.]
There is nothing in our world or any other that could ever make me okay with doing— any of that to you. The last part, especially, but— all of it.
[He can’t bring himself to say what he saw in explicit terms. It’s too awful.]
That... it can’t have really been me. There’s no version of me that I can imagine that would ever hurt you, Billy.