"Don't got a fuckin' thought in their heads, lil bro. Big blank nothing. Sure, they eat people, sure, pain doesn't bother them. But their mindless, shuffling antics are only so tolerable." There's a pause, like he has some other well thought out reason, but he just adds: "plus, they're so mainstream. Everyone and their mom loves zombies."

What a hipster thing to say.

Dirk is completely invested in gaming the system both because he's used to being rich and because he doesn't want to get even physically intimate with anyone. It's not like he's asexual, obviously, check out his porn, it's just he's got a problem with his own damn sexual tastes. He ain't gonna explore that for real in front of his bro, especially. That internalized homophobia runs deep, even deeper than when he was young and actually experimenting. He wouldn't disown Dave if he ended up being queer, but he'd blame himself like there was something wrong with it, like it was 'his fault.'

So yeah, Dave being enthused about his not-intimate moneymaking is a good sign. "Fuck a maid cafe," he says, "it's time for a granny cafe. Not an inch of skin showing. Wholesome as shit." Dave you too are going to wear a wholesome sweater, just you wait.

This is the best idea he's had in a while, really.