[ Man he's got no idea on the wizard front, he only knows one wizard and it seems like that guy's spell components are all stuff he got out of his pantry. Being royalty sounds nice, though. He'd like to try it sometime. ]

The what - ?!

[ I hope you enjoy the sounds of choking and spluttering, because that's all you're hearing from Valmont for a good few seconds. ]

Perhaps that passes for a reputable occupation in your world, but I've no intention of going down that route, thank you very much!

[ For one thing, he doesn't have that many marketable talents. ]

Isn't there anything one can do on this blasted planet that doesn't involve touching?