[ the shock is genuine. the reason why nie huaisang's act has always been so convincing is because it isn't a complete act, especially now. he might know of jin guangyao's crime but the thought of bringing him down - of even having anything to do with that - is such a foreign notion that his mind needs a moment to process it.
it isn't that nie huaisang thinks he's useless, it is that he has never applied himself to the disciplines and qualities expected of sect leaders, and as such confronting san-ge is impossible. and yet, if jin ling is to be believed, he directed the sword that brought justice to his brother.
huaisang feels the warm water around and the thought forms, with no small amount of satisfaction: good. whether he is truly responsible or not, does it matter as long as he is dead? as long as he has been stopped? would his brother understand? and what of er-ge?
and yet, this huaisang is still so young and wants to cry. cry for his brother and his brother's sworn brothers. for the loss of his freedom and who he wanted to be in favour of a path he had never wanted. he is never going to be free of this, no matter who dies and who lives - but to live is preferable than to die, especially when he has his brother's legacy to safeguard, and baxia to inter. ]
1/2
it isn't that nie huaisang thinks he's useless, it is that he has never applied himself to the disciplines and qualities expected of sect leaders, and as such confronting san-ge is impossible. and yet, if jin ling is to be believed, he directed the sword that brought justice to his brother.
huaisang feels the warm water around and the thought forms, with no small amount of satisfaction: good. whether he is truly responsible or not, does it matter as long as he is dead? as long as he has been stopped? would his brother understand? and what of er-ge?
and yet, this huaisang is still so young and wants to cry. cry for his brother and his brother's sworn brothers. for the loss of his freedom and who he wanted to be in favour of a path he had never wanted. he is never going to be free of this, no matter who dies and who lives - but to live is preferable than to die, especially when he has his brother's legacy to safeguard, and baxia to inter. ]