prismaticrap | ▶ TDM .009

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You awaken amidst the darkness with only a faint light to greet you. Your body is hemmed in by shards of crystals, gently sparkling and possibly pricking your skin. The surrounding landscape is dyed in the pinks and purples of the dusk filled with crystals protruding from the ground, some as large as a skyscraper. Even the few shy moon creatures you find in the wild have strange crystal growths on their hides. This is far from home— perhaps a dream? You pinch your skin and slap your cheeks, yet nothing seems to do the trick. Searching for answers yields nothing but an endless expanse of purple dust as far as the eye can see. You have four options: one, panic; two, soil yourself; three, admire it all then soil yourself; or four, go into survival mode. Eventually, you’ll realize that you’re not alone.

After a day or two of living off the crystal wilderness, a group of people find you worse for wear. They are the gallant Moon Knights from the planet of Prismatica. After the strange phenomenon during the past months when scientists observed the sudden appearance of rainbow crystals in the sky, the government has been feverishly combing through the moon for more Moonblessed to be rescued. You’ll eventually be brought into Iris’s moon government center.

You all may have your usual inquiries — Where are we? Who are you? What's going on? Why did I inhale all those permanent markers in the third grade? — and the Prismals are almost too eager to answer. They tell you about their world and about the first appearance of the Moonblessed as the medical staff give you an examination to make sure you’re not carrying any viruses or biological hazards. If you react violently, you may be restrained and nerfed with a specialized neurotransmitting gun that releases a numbing agent through the top of your spine. Once the examinations are over, you’re informed that you will be provided accommodations on their planet during your stay.

While waiting for transport to be prepared, you may freely roam around the government center. Eventually you’re called back from exploring, escorted to the docks, and led onto a large transport vessel that makes frequent trips back and forth between the moons and the planet. Faces onboard vary from both old and new Moonblessed as well as the local Prismals. The next destination: Prismatica.

▶ Whip It Good
Iris Moon, Government Center (Arrival) and Planet Prismatica, City of Lunatia | top

Welcome to Prismatica’s hub, Lunatia, the city of your dreams! A bustling metropolis lush with bright lights, vibrant colors, luxuriant plant life, and all the conveniences of technology absent from your own world… It seems like paradise to all the uninitiated. After a quick tour of the city, new arrivals can find themselves getting cozy in their new homes.

A Settle in your new home at Level 2 to find new roommates and say hello to your neighbors! City officials will give you directions to the designated districts across Level 2 and instruct you to pick out a unit. Each apartment complex has a different aesthetic, some may look cozy, some stylish, and some bizarre. The free accommodations have a basic living space that can only fit two or three people at most in one unit.

Starter Chromaspace furnishings are provided which can be controlled with the touch of a built-in panel. Examples are color-changing curtains, transforming sofa beds, cabinets turning into tables, etc. Customizing your apartment or moving out will have to wait until you earn more chroma. Until then, why don’t you check out your new neighborhood or explore the city levels? Maybe your new roommates or neighbors can give you a “hand” with allowance for dinner.

B At the Crystarium Moonports is a new family restaurant called Grapplebears, here to serve your favorite dishes from all around the galaxy at affordable prices! The menu ranges from the atomically hot and spicy Chamakshalan curry rice, delectable dragonsaur steak served with mashed space-tatoes, to the sweet and creamy Lunatian milkshakes that bring all the boys to the yard, all prepared by their handsome and huggable bear crew.

As you might have noticed, the restaurant staff is a ragtag group with members from planets unknown to both Prismals and Moonblessed. The waiters and waitresses in particular are tall, muscular, leather-clad bears who take your order by whipping you with a special riding crop that compels you to bark out your order — but only if you ask to be, of course! They might induce you to reveal other unrelated interests so make sure you’re not thinking about anything embarrassing!

If you chat up the staff or customers, you learn more about the restaurant’s origins. The bears say their planets* were also wiped by the Calamity hundreds of years ago, and life for them has been difficult for them since then…

*Further information about these planets is unavailable at this time.

▶ Night of the Living Dummy
City of Lunatia | top

The last vestiges of Geistnacht have officially passed and the first chilly autumn breeze ushers in the new season. The city is awash in giant piles of browning leaves that decorate every walkway.

A To deal with the mass collection of fallen leaves, many buildings across the city have been retrofitted with a new disposal system to help clean up. A sprawling network of automated vacuum tubes around the city will efficiently suck all those pesky leaves right up. While children love playing inside and using them to “teleport” around Lunatia, they have also been known to spontaneously suck up anyone who’s not too careful. You may find yourself falling on some hapless bystander on their afternoon walk, or crammed in a tube with your new neighbors. Lunar Scientia officials warn everyone to be careful of where you walk, else you might need to crawl your way to sweet freedom.

B A pop-up shop in Level 1 is attracting much of the locals' attention, run by a peddler who speaks in a low, elongated hiss and wears a hood over his face. He assures you that his face is of no consequence. What is more important is his selection of wares! In contrast to his cloaked, enigmatic appearance, his travel cart is a Barbie pink explosion of frills, hearts, glitter. He will tell all visitors he comes from the Valley of the Crimson Serpents, which Prismals and older Moonblessed arrivals find odd. Wasn’t the Sanguis moon uninhabitable?

Among the peddler’s wares are adorable, wide-eyed and heavily perfumed dolls in all sorts of clothes a child dreaming of rainbows and tea parties could ever ask for. Hug and squeeze a doll, and you will be greeted by a pre-recorded voice telling you how they’re your bestest friend ever. It’s like they were made for lovin’ you! But if you look away for one moment, you can almost swear you hear a snake’s hiss, its long tongue licking the shell of your ear… The next time you see the doll, its body will be in a slightly different position or location. Is it… following you? Fortunately, a minimal amount of moonlacing will make it leave you alone. You can wait it out too, but why would you?

Destroy a doll and it will later reappear wherever you are when you least expect it, good as new, but leaking from their porcelain heads is a strange pink, glitter-covered liquid. The peddler calls it the “love juice” giving the doll an extra dose of affection for you.

▶ Bird is the Word
Level 2, Greatmoon Groves | top

As autumn paints Lunatia with its golden hues, pumpkin decorations and desserts are now in vogue. This is thanks to Chroma-infused pumpkin seeds, which allow them to rapidly grow in all sorts of sizes, shapes, and colors. The Moonblessed are invited to visit one of the largest pumpkin patches in the city housed within the Greatmoon Groves, where they can enjoy the sight of oversized, colorful neon and sparkling semi-phallic pumpkins, expertly carved to greet you with their buck-toothed smiles.

A The pumpkin patch is full of toddler-sized creatures called hugbugs. When they are not tending to the pumpkins, they follow the Moonblessed around, requesting hugs and treats in exchange for their obedience.

Reward them and they will do simple errands for you and give you compliments. They will also be your personal hype men, talking up your strengths, talents, and physical assets to all those special someones you’re trying to impress. Once you earn their trust, they will be your friends for life!

Ignore them, hurt them, or bully them, and they will cry and place a curse upon you, reducing your self-esteem to nothing and magically forcing you to cry along with them. The effects of the curse may last for up to a week if you’re not careful! But how could you do such a thing? The hugbugs are sensitive and want somebody to love.

B If you manage to survive your encounter with the hugbugs, you are welcome to join in on the Prismal knitting group and enjoy creating your own fanciful scarf made of Galadrian thread, which is known for its bright, golden sheen and aromatic properties. Give it to a friend or wear it yourself, and you will notice a strange ability to attract animals and insects of all kinds. Live out your Disney Princess fantasy! Or a Hitchcockian nightmare. It’s all a matter of perspective as a whole flock of honking birds comes bounding towards you.

▶ Questions
If you have any questions regarding this test drive meme, please ask them in the Questions thread below.

▶ As a reminder, test drive memes are for new characters only. However, current players are more than welcome to use these prompts for their own posts in the IC communities, personal inboxes, catch-all posts, etc.!
▶ As our test drive memes are game canon, feel free to keep any threads that happen here as canon for your character should they be accepted.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[...okay. look. he's. the hugbugs are kind of cute and he can't bring himself to be mean to them, they're doing their best, even if he needs to have a talk with them about boundaries.

...a long talk with them about boundaries.

...........and the fact that while he appreciates them they don't really need to follow him around like this, he's got a gaggle of them, and is someone sending more in his direction, he's-]

No, I think I have...

[................................oh dear sweet goddess it's fucking hubert von vestra]

.........enough.............

[I mean it's already been pretty weird seeing Dimitri alright but that's perhaps a little less weird than. you know. this asshole.]

[Oh. It's Seteth.

...No, okay, he can work with this, a familiar face is better than no familiar faces at all, right?

Admittedly it would be better if it was almost anyone else, but it's fine. It's totally fine. There is no way this is going to go poorly at all.

This would probably be going much better if the situation weren't so dumb, but here we are, dealing with whatever nonsense is happening now. It'll be fine. He's got this.]

It seems you're better suited to caring for them than I am.

[...please take them, he doesn't want them.]

[Seteth has no idea how to respond to this, given that... yes, Hubert looks more like he did while attending the Academy than he did when Ferdinand von Aegir ran him through with a lance in the streets of Enbarr. ...but he has to say something to keep up the veneer of normalcy while he tries to figure out what the course of action is that he should take here.]

They’re... certainly very well intentioned, and I am certain that there are those who would appreciate their approach.

[‘Thanks, Dad!!’ says one of the hugbugs, and the rest agree that he is the best dad in the world.]

...

I hope to introduce them to one such person, though I have not found them yet...

[Hubert tries very hard not to make a face at the hugbugs calling Seteth "dad", but he doesn't succeed.]

...I see.

[He really doesn't.]

What do you intend to do with them until you've found such a person?

[...are you just. going to let them follow you around... are you adopting them...]

[Seteth will not comment on that expression!]

I will do my best to impart upon them a number of virtues, such as restraint and respecting others’ personal boundaries.

[he says, smiling, trying not to let loose the expression that generally comes with one realizing goddess Rhea is going to go spare.

Goddess.]

[...no wonder they're calling you "dad".]

They certainly do need those lessons. Perhaps you'll be able to tame them all.

[Honestly, that idea is hilarious, please keep Seteth busy babysitting, that's wonderful.]

It would certainly be wonderful if I could.

[RHEA IS GOING TO ABSOLUTELY GO SPARE WHAT THE FUCK DOES HE DO HERE HE DOESN’T WANT PRISMATICA TO GO UP IN FLAMES

okay he needs to lose the hugbugs, this is a serious conversation he needs to have because also he. Maybe he kind of... owes... Hubert............... for the letter........]

So. Have you just recently arrived, then?

[Ah, that didn't take long. He's not really surprised Seteth's snapped back into business mode, so here we go.]

I have, yes. How long have you been here?

[There are plenty of questions he isn't asking, but he'll take it one step at a time.]

About a month at this point. It's not... entirely unpleasant, for the most part, although there are some aspects that are deeply so.

[...yeah okay and he doesn't want to bring Fodlan's conflicts to this world, the fucking hauntings are bad enough!!

...what... should he do with the hugbugs, um. hm. oh one of the more elderly farmers is having trouble putting out pumpkins SURELY THESE SMALL FRIENDS CAN HELP, SO HE'LL ADDRESS THEM]

...ah, excuse me. Could you all go and assist that woman? She seems to be having difficulty.

[oh. good. they're enthusiastically falling over themselves to volunteer to help and heading off.]

[A month... Such a thing shouldn't be possible, but apparently time doesn't work the way it should here. Good to know, he supposes. Why can't everything just operate the way it's supposed to...

Anyway, Seteth sends the little guys off on an errand, and the two following Hubert join the crowd. Either they've decided they like Seteth or they're just lemmings. Hubert certainly isn't complaining.

His gaze returns to Seteth quickly enough; he theoretically shouldn't have any reason to want to pick a fight, but if time isn't working the way Hubert expects it to, then there's really no telling what comes next from the Archbishop's lapdog.]

Are there any others from Fódlan here?

[A carefully-chosen topic, and one he isn't sure Seteth will answer truthfully. Still, it's a start, he supposes.]

There are a fair amount of us here, actually.

[He crosses his arms, pondering how to go about this...]

I have personally encountered Felix and Manuela, as well as...

[UM............ okay here’s another SIGH AND RUB YOUR FOREHEAD moment...]

Two different versions of Professor Byleth, male and female. Don’t ask me to explain how or why that happened, but evidently in some other version of events literally everything was the same except Byleth’s physical features and gender up to a certain point. I encountered the male version here first despite being more familiar with the female version, and it was deeply confusing. That’s not all of them, but I will give you time to process that bit of absurdity.

[Okay, Felix and Manuela aren't great, but let's be honest, no one but Lady Edelgard really is. So that's fine, he can work with that.

And then Seteth sighs and continues and oh. Oh no. Hubert can't see a reason why Seteth would lie about this or make something so entirely unbelievable up in the first place. If he wanted to say something to catch Hubert off-guard or otherwise rile him up, there are plenty of better options. So the most likely scenario is that there is some truth to what he's saying.]

...I see.

[no he really does not????]

Is the professor the only one with a different version running around?

[can you imagine dealing with two ferdinands..........]

[...Seteth doesn’t even dislike Ferdinand and that seems like it would be, uh, a bit much. WE ARE FERDINAND VON AEGIR......]

No, that’s the only instance that I know of. In better news, you’ll be pleased to know that Edelgard is here.

...

In other news, you will be displeased to know Rhea is here. I would advise that you avoid her as best you can.

[ferdinand doesn't deserve to be dragged like this, I'M SORRY FERDINAND...

Seteth gives the information so freely, Hubert has to wonder if there are any strings attached. It seems unlikely, given what he knows about Seteth, but even so...

Of course, he can't really complain when he's been given the best piece of news since waking up here. Lady Edelgard is here. That gives him a purpose, a reason for being here. He isn't lost or adrift, and now he has a goal.

Not that he lets the relief show in his expression or voice; after all, Seteth's told him something else valuable. Rhea is here as well, hmm? That does complicate things.]

Thank you for the information. [He ducks just enough to be a proper bow, but not quite enough to expose the back of his neck for too long.] Do you know how long the others have been here?

[Lady Edelgard, he means, but knowing how long Rhea's been here could be beneficial as well.]

I am not terribly sure. Manuela, the male Byleth, and Felix preceded me, and Rhea and I seem to have arrived at roughly the same time. I am unsure about the others, though I also only encountered Edelgard recently.

[...]

I mean it when I say you should avoid Rhea. We are not from the same point in time as you, and she will not be particularly pleased by your presence, to put it lightly.

[Interesting. It's the second part that really throws him, though, and there's a brief moment where his expression is definitely not under control and he just. stares.]

What do you mean by that? "The same point in time"?

[We've already established that time doesn't work the same way here, so he has an idea of what Seteth's about to say, but he really hopes he's wrong. It certainly would explain why Rhea's so mad, but... No way. There's no way such a thing could be possible, even here.

Right?]

...I should likely precede this by saying I have no intention of harming either of you so long as you do not harm us, but I am from five years in your future. I am sure you understand what that means.

[it’s fuckin Hubert, there’s no way he didn’t know!!]

I do not wish for Fódlan’s conflicts to carry over into this world, and I have already made that clear to Edelgard. Rhea, however, will be more difficult to convince than I am... and I cannot speak to many of the others.

[And there it is. Even if he had been from only an hour or so in the future he likely would have known. And yet he's claiming to be from five years in the future.

It's staggering to think about. Where will they be in five years? What will have happened during that time?

No, it's not something he should get caught up in right now. Once again, he can't see any reason for Seteth to be lying about something like this, but believing everything he says just isn't in Hubert's nature. He has to hold some level of caution, but it isn't as though he can play dumb. If this is true, Seteth already knows about Lady Edelgard's plans.

For the time being, his best option is to play nice. For as little as he likes or trusts the Church, it isn't as though he can't behave himself. For now. For now, at least until he's spoken with Lady Edelgard and worked out how to proceed.]

I understand.

[Well, as much as he can, anyway.]

I have no interest in dragging our conflict here either. I'm certain I will speak with the Archbishop at some point, and I will keep what you have said in mind.

...You have my thanks for this information as well.

[yeah, no, Seteth doesn't trust Hubert as far as he could throw...

...

nah Hubert seems to be a noodle he could throw him a decent distance. He doesn't trust him as far as he could throw The Immovable, even if he's willing to extend the ol' olive branch.]

It's a large enough city that you can likely avoid her without too much trouble. I have no idea if I will be able to convince her to be civil, but... I will try nonetheless.

[it's absolutely true, who needs a defense stat anyway???]

It's appreciated.

[...]

I have a question for you, if you're willing to answer. What happened during those five years?

[He wouldn't be surprised if Seteth doesn't want to answer. If Seteth won't, then he'll see what he can pry out of the others. He has a general idea of what is supposed to happen, of course, but knowing the specifics can only be beneficial.]

[i saw a gif where dimitri did 500+ damage to hubert during dimitri's paralogue where hubert's supposed to retreat and i asked myself "FUCKING HOW. DID HE JUST LAND IN A TREE A MILE AWAY AND RETREAT FROM THERE."

uh anyway mgrgrgr he doesn't want to discuss absolutely everything, but.]

After Edelgard took the throne and decided to ransack the Holy Tomb, the Adrestian Empire declared war on absolutely everyone and later attacked Garreg Mach. During the attack, you lot apparently captured Rhea somehow and held her in captivity over those years. The Kingdom devolved into an absolute mess, the Alliance was divided between pro-Imperial and anti-Imperial factions, and everything's just a complete mess.

[there. fuck.]

[if anyone deserves to be sent flying into another dimension from dimitri's attack, it's hubert.]

I see.

[And for once, he does. It's not exactly how he envisioned everything going, but he's always been the sort to prepare for the worst. It's a simple summation of events, and he doubts he'll get anything more detailed from Seteth, but it at least gives him some idea of what's happening. Will happen? Time is an illusion.]

Thank you for the information.

[He hesitates for a moment, considering.]

...I do appreciate all that you've offered me. I understand that our battle isn't here, but we have no reason to help one another either. I won't forget your assistance today.

[Not that it will stop him should Lady Edelgard decide their conflict extends here, but he's certain Seteth already knows that.

Still, it's... not at all what he would have expected from Seteth, honestly.]

...

[...Seteth shifts a bit uncomfortably, because like, man, "we super killed you and basically, this is what happened between Byleth and Edelgard," that's not gonna go over well. But at the same time...]

I can't say I entirely trust either of you for obvious reasons and I absolutely despise your methods, but I have a better idea of why you chose the path you did.

[He shakes his head.]

I... was not particularly happy with the direction Fodlan was headed either. I regret not doing more sooner.

[Hubert rests a hand against his chin as he considers that. There isn't any reason he can see for Seteth to lie about any of it, so perhaps that really is the case.]

Obviously I cannot speak of the future and what happens then, but I have no regrets or doubts about my path. I will never leave Lady Edelgard's side.

[...]

Someday I would like to hear more about what happened, and the path you have chosen. [A smirk.] Not that I believe you will trust me with any of that.

[The words aren't harsh or pointed in any way. It's certainly not a joke either, but it's closer to that than anything else.]

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▶ TDM .009

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