prismaticrap | ▶ TDM .009

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You awaken amidst the darkness with only a faint light to greet you. Your body is hemmed in by shards of crystals, gently sparkling and possibly pricking your skin. The surrounding landscape is dyed in the pinks and purples of the dusk filled with crystals protruding from the ground, some as large as a skyscraper. Even the few shy moon creatures you find in the wild have strange crystal growths on their hides. This is far from home— perhaps a dream? You pinch your skin and slap your cheeks, yet nothing seems to do the trick. Searching for answers yields nothing but an endless expanse of purple dust as far as the eye can see. You have four options: one, panic; two, soil yourself; three, admire it all then soil yourself; or four, go into survival mode. Eventually, you’ll realize that you’re not alone.

After a day or two of living off the crystal wilderness, a group of people find you worse for wear. They are the gallant Moon Knights from the planet of Prismatica. After the strange phenomenon during the past months when scientists observed the sudden appearance of rainbow crystals in the sky, the government has been feverishly combing through the moon for more Moonblessed to be rescued. You’ll eventually be brought into Iris’s moon government center.

You all may have your usual inquiries — Where are we? Who are you? What's going on? Why did I inhale all those permanent markers in the third grade? — and the Prismals are almost too eager to answer. They tell you about their world and about the first appearance of the Moonblessed as the medical staff give you an examination to make sure you’re not carrying any viruses or biological hazards. If you react violently, you may be restrained and nerfed with a specialized neurotransmitting gun that releases a numbing agent through the top of your spine. Once the examinations are over, you’re informed that you will be provided accommodations on their planet during your stay.

While waiting for transport to be prepared, you may freely roam around the government center. Eventually you’re called back from exploring, escorted to the docks, and led onto a large transport vessel that makes frequent trips back and forth between the moons and the planet. Faces onboard vary from both old and new Moonblessed as well as the local Prismals. The next destination: Prismatica.

▶ Whip It Good
Iris Moon, Government Center (Arrival) and Planet Prismatica, City of Lunatia | top

Welcome to Prismatica’s hub, Lunatia, the city of your dreams! A bustling metropolis lush with bright lights, vibrant colors, luxuriant plant life, and all the conveniences of technology absent from your own world… It seems like paradise to all the uninitiated. After a quick tour of the city, new arrivals can find themselves getting cozy in their new homes.

A Settle in your new home at Level 2 to find new roommates and say hello to your neighbors! City officials will give you directions to the designated districts across Level 2 and instruct you to pick out a unit. Each apartment complex has a different aesthetic, some may look cozy, some stylish, and some bizarre. The free accommodations have a basic living space that can only fit two or three people at most in one unit.

Starter Chromaspace furnishings are provided which can be controlled with the touch of a built-in panel. Examples are color-changing curtains, transforming sofa beds, cabinets turning into tables, etc. Customizing your apartment or moving out will have to wait until you earn more chroma. Until then, why don’t you check out your new neighborhood or explore the city levels? Maybe your new roommates or neighbors can give you a “hand” with allowance for dinner.

B At the Crystarium Moonports is a new family restaurant called Grapplebears, here to serve your favorite dishes from all around the galaxy at affordable prices! The menu ranges from the atomically hot and spicy Chamakshalan curry rice, delectable dragonsaur steak served with mashed space-tatoes, to the sweet and creamy Lunatian milkshakes that bring all the boys to the yard, all prepared by their handsome and huggable bear crew.

As you might have noticed, the restaurant staff is a ragtag group with members from planets unknown to both Prismals and Moonblessed. The waiters and waitresses in particular are tall, muscular, leather-clad bears who take your order by whipping you with a special riding crop that compels you to bark out your order — but only if you ask to be, of course! They might induce you to reveal other unrelated interests so make sure you’re not thinking about anything embarrassing!

If you chat up the staff or customers, you learn more about the restaurant’s origins. The bears say their planets* were also wiped by the Calamity hundreds of years ago, and life for them has been difficult for them since then…

*Further information about these planets is unavailable at this time.

▶ Night of the Living Dummy
City of Lunatia | top

The last vestiges of Geistnacht have officially passed and the first chilly autumn breeze ushers in the new season. The city is awash in giant piles of browning leaves that decorate every walkway.

A To deal with the mass collection of fallen leaves, many buildings across the city have been retrofitted with a new disposal system to help clean up. A sprawling network of automated vacuum tubes around the city will efficiently suck all those pesky leaves right up. While children love playing inside and using them to “teleport” around Lunatia, they have also been known to spontaneously suck up anyone who’s not too careful. You may find yourself falling on some hapless bystander on their afternoon walk, or crammed in a tube with your new neighbors. Lunar Scientia officials warn everyone to be careful of where you walk, else you might need to crawl your way to sweet freedom.

B A pop-up shop in Level 1 is attracting much of the locals' attention, run by a peddler who speaks in a low, elongated hiss and wears a hood over his face. He assures you that his face is of no consequence. What is more important is his selection of wares! In contrast to his cloaked, enigmatic appearance, his travel cart is a Barbie pink explosion of frills, hearts, glitter. He will tell all visitors he comes from the Valley of the Crimson Serpents, which Prismals and older Moonblessed arrivals find odd. Wasn’t the Sanguis moon uninhabitable?

Among the peddler’s wares are adorable, wide-eyed and heavily perfumed dolls in all sorts of clothes a child dreaming of rainbows and tea parties could ever ask for. Hug and squeeze a doll, and you will be greeted by a pre-recorded voice telling you how they’re your bestest friend ever. It’s like they were made for lovin’ you! But if you look away for one moment, you can almost swear you hear a snake’s hiss, its long tongue licking the shell of your ear… The next time you see the doll, its body will be in a slightly different position or location. Is it… following you? Fortunately, a minimal amount of moonlacing will make it leave you alone. You can wait it out too, but why would you?

Destroy a doll and it will later reappear wherever you are when you least expect it, good as new, but leaking from their porcelain heads is a strange pink, glitter-covered liquid. The peddler calls it the “love juice” giving the doll an extra dose of affection for you.

▶ Bird is the Word
Level 2, Greatmoon Groves | top

As autumn paints Lunatia with its golden hues, pumpkin decorations and desserts are now in vogue. This is thanks to Chroma-infused pumpkin seeds, which allow them to rapidly grow in all sorts of sizes, shapes, and colors. The Moonblessed are invited to visit one of the largest pumpkin patches in the city housed within the Greatmoon Groves, where they can enjoy the sight of oversized, colorful neon and sparkling semi-phallic pumpkins, expertly carved to greet you with their buck-toothed smiles.

A The pumpkin patch is full of toddler-sized creatures called hugbugs. When they are not tending to the pumpkins, they follow the Moonblessed around, requesting hugs and treats in exchange for their obedience.

Reward them and they will do simple errands for you and give you compliments. They will also be your personal hype men, talking up your strengths, talents, and physical assets to all those special someones you’re trying to impress. Once you earn their trust, they will be your friends for life!

Ignore them, hurt them, or bully them, and they will cry and place a curse upon you, reducing your self-esteem to nothing and magically forcing you to cry along with them. The effects of the curse may last for up to a week if you’re not careful! But how could you do such a thing? The hugbugs are sensitive and want somebody to love.

B If you manage to survive your encounter with the hugbugs, you are welcome to join in on the Prismal knitting group and enjoy creating your own fanciful scarf made of Galadrian thread, which is known for its bright, golden sheen and aromatic properties. Give it to a friend or wear it yourself, and you will notice a strange ability to attract animals and insects of all kinds. Live out your Disney Princess fantasy! Or a Hitchcockian nightmare. It’s all a matter of perspective as a whole flock of honking birds comes bounding towards you.

▶ Questions
If you have any questions regarding this test drive meme, please ask them in the Questions thread below.

▶ As a reminder, test drive memes are for new characters only. However, current players are more than welcome to use these prompts for their own posts in the IC communities, personal inboxes, catch-all posts, etc.!
▶ As our test drive memes are game canon, feel free to keep any threads that happen here as canon for your character should they be accepted.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

ARRIVAL ★ IRIS MOON BASE

[This is not Cairo. This is also not, to all appearances, Earth. Which means there's really only one explanation for this crystal bullshit and the people calling themselves Moon Knights like this is some kind of shitty manga series, and that explanation is a simple one:

This is clearly the work of an enemy Stand.

The problem is, there shouldn't be any more enemy Stands out there. They're all supposed to be dead, or defeated. It's supposed to be over, they fought and Dio died (they all died, everyone died) and now they're just waiting for sunrise to come and claim his body once and for all. There aren't supposed to be any more enemy Stand users. This isn't supposed to be happening; it's supposed to be done.

But apparently it's not done, so he lets himself be taken to the Iris Moon Center, less because he actually wants to go with the Moon Knights and more just because there's no better option he might conceivably take at the moment. What would Kakyoin or Avdol suggest they do, if they were still all together? Gather information, figure out what's going on. Figure out what's happening. That's how you find the user. That's how you beat them.

(Kakyoin did very well for you, didn't he?)

So he lets the staff guide him along to the moon center, where they insist on giving him some kind of medical examination, and wouldn't you know it the last thing he wants right now are strange people's hands on him, so of course he picks a fight. He punches one of them and he's halfway into shoving another when they hit him with some kind of gun that makes his whole body turn to jelly, and then they give him the examination anyway while he can't even get his mouth open enough to curse them out for it.

So when they ultimately release him, he wanders gawkily to the nearest set of windows near the docking bay, gazing out at the galaxies and starships that lie beyond and wondering what the hell he's gotten himself into this time.]

WELL THIS SUCKS, LITERALLY ★ LUNATIA

[Once landed on the planet and delivered to the heart of the city the natives call Lunatia, Jotaro's natural inclination is to wander. He certainly doesn't trust the supposed accommodations that are allegedly ready and waiting for him (yeah, sure, just like the last time, and next some old woman with two right hands will want him to sign his name on the register), and he's already begun to notice that something is wrong with Star Platinum. Summoning him isn't as easy as it ought to be, and when he does, it leaves him feeling tired — more tired than he ought to, for something as simple as that.

Definitely the sign of an enemy Stand.

But he's still working on getting his bearings, which is why he's skulking around the residential neighborhoods looking for clues of any kind that might tip off how to break the spell, and as it turns out, he's so preoccupied with those deep and encompassing thoughts that he completely misses the leaf sucker that emerges behind him and, apparently, perceives him as the world's biggest, nastiest leaf to get sucked up.]

— ?!

[And up he goes, into the hose — and out he hurtles a few seconds later, quite possibly right on top of you. Sorry about the 6'5" refrigerator of a guy who's probably about to crush you, hapless stranger. He didn't mean it, really.]

YAKAMASHI ★ GREATMOON GROVES

[Eventually, Operation Figure Out What The Fuck Is Going On Around Here Anyway takes him to the pumpkin patch, where he has the hilarious misfortune of attracting a veritable gaggle of toddler-sized hype men as he stalks through the rows of the (vaguely phallic, yeah, he noticed, and no, he's not thinking about it, he's not Polnareff) pumpkins. The height difference between them is absolutely hysterical; not one of the little hugbugs comes up higher than his knees, but they certainly are trailing after him as fast as they can go, scurrying to keep up with his incredibly long strides.

Jojo's so cool!
Wow, he's so tall!
Look how strong he is!
Jojo, you're the best!
Nobody punches harder than Jojo!
He's the mysterious, silent type!
Jojo loves me best!
No he doesn't, he loves me best!
Me!
Me!
Me!

And so maybe it's no surprise how quickly Jotaro hits his breaking point.]

Shut the fuck up! You're all so damn annoying!

[For a single, fragile moment, there is absolute silence. And then in the moment after that, the entire crowd of hugbugs immediately start sobbing.

So yeah, guess whose fool ass is getting cursed today. THIS GUY.]

[Someone sighs, long and sleepy.]

Awww. You made them cry.

[Chiaki stands slowly, probably so as not to disturb the hugbug that fell asleep on her while she was petting it. She carries it with two arms slung under its middle, not at all the way one should carry... well, anything, probably, and somehow, it slumbers through her plodding approach to its sobbing brethren.]

You didn't have to say it like that, you know.

[There's good news and bad news for Jotaro when the Hugbug Curse™ hits him in retaliation for his shouting. The good news is, there's basically no way that the hugbugs could make him feel worse than he already does right now (he wasn't there, he wasn't there when any of them died, Kakyoin's dead and he should've gone with them and he didn't, why didn't he go, why wasn't he faster, why did any of them think that he was worth putting their lives on the line for anyway), so there's that!

The bad news is, having tears streaming down his face doesn't actually make him look any less gruff or threatening; he just looks as annoyed as ever while also having waterfalls pouring from his eyes.]

Who said it was your business, anyway?

[HE SOBS, WEEPING OPENLY.]

If you like them so much, you take them, so they'll leave me the hell alone.

...

[Interacting with people... Yep, it's just as difficult as she remembers. There's no way to predict how a living being will react to anything she says. It used to be easier, she thinks, but maybe--maybe it was just because it was Hinata-kun and everyone.

The hubbub finally rouses her hugbug, who, upon hearing the outcry of its people, starts to mist up and let its lip wibble just a bit. Sensing the change in its breathing, Chiaki sets it down. Then an idea bubbles up, and she kneels as well, addressing Jotaro's wailing fan squad with her hands on her lap.]

Hey... can you all come here and listen to me for a second? It's okay. I'm not going to yell.

[Chiaki's hugbug perks up and starts tugging bugs by the... hand? Away from Jotaro, sitting each down in front of Chiaki, extolling her kindness and her soft, soft hugs. While that's going on, Chiaki looks up (and up, and up) at Jotaro without any change in her own mostly-blank expression.]

You should probably stay for a bit, too. 'Cause... I can't guarantee they won't follow you if this doesn't work.

Jotaro Kujo ★ Jojo's Bizarre Adventure

Fanbugs

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bugs!

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weepy jotaro and the sadbugs

a popular prompt, everybody clown him

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time to dunk on jotaro

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as a vampire he knows all about sucking

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YAKAMASHI

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Suckage

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landing on an angel

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