[Howard wishes he would, frankly, because he feels he deserves a grudge - maybe even a punch, and Howard rarely considers himself worthy of any sort of admonishment. Negative consequences are typically things that happen to other people, especially when you're rich enough to pay someone to take your licks for you (as poor Jarvis so often does with Howard's discarded paramours).
The point is, when you think you're beyond any sort of recrimination (except, strangely, whatever comes from Peggy), those few moments of self-abuse hit particularly hard. (How else, Howard has told himself, would it have been so easy for Fenhoff to worm his way into his mind?) Usually, his self-pitying moments involve more time at the bottom of a bottle, soaking in his own misery like a marinade of booze and regret.
But Peggy - brisk, efficient, very often a pain in the ass Peggy - won't allow that, at least for now. Which doesn't keep him from having another drink, on general principle.]
What about Barnes?
[At least he's not responsible, directly or indirectly, for that. (Which doesn't mean he doesn't feel regret, just not personal blame.)]
no subject
The point is, when you think you're beyond any sort of recrimination (except, strangely, whatever comes from Peggy), those few moments of self-abuse hit particularly hard. (How else, Howard has told himself, would it have been so easy for Fenhoff to worm his way into his mind?) Usually, his self-pitying moments involve more time at the bottom of a bottle, soaking in his own misery like a marinade of booze and regret.
But Peggy - brisk, efficient, very often a pain in the ass Peggy - won't allow that, at least for now. Which doesn't keep him from having another drink, on general principle.]
What about Barnes?
[At least he's not responsible, directly or indirectly, for that. (Which doesn't mean he doesn't feel regret, just not personal blame.)]