[For the thousandth time in this single day, Ayer has caught him off-guard. He's not so arrogant as to assume he knows the other so well already, but even so... He's stunned again and again by what this younger man is capable of. Today he's seen Ayer both shy of smile and stumbling to express himself in words, as well as the visage before him now—a countenance of steel, and words unbending.
Not for the first time, Louis is amazed by him.
The negativity within him yearns to protest at Ayer's every declaration, to challenge them and demand that the other rethink his stance when there's still so, so much strife Louis carries, so much sin and guilt and weakness that he can't even scratch the surface of to tell someone. But the roughened hands holding his face would not allow that, nor this unreliable throat of his that constricts on nothing at all.
What has he done to deserve this person? These reassurances? These touches so gentle as if holding something fragile...? And that unwavering gaze that makes his chest collapse in on itself, turning him and his stuttering heart to shambles. Being so utterly seen makes him feel like he's not long for this world.
Just another thing that makes him weak.]
Why are you so—
[Even if he didn't believe what the other said, even if it went against everything he felt about himself, whereas normally he would just swallow his denials and say his thanks instead... This time, that doesn't happen. He's too baffled by the lengths this person goes to, for weak and timid Louis, whom he's only just met today. His eyelids fall tightly shut, as he can't bear the weight of that earnest gaze any longer. But his neck cranes ever so slightly, leaning into this unfathomably warm palm.]
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Not for the first time, Louis is amazed by him.
The negativity within him yearns to protest at Ayer's every declaration, to challenge them and demand that the other rethink his stance when there's still so, so much strife Louis carries, so much sin and guilt and weakness that he can't even scratch the surface of to tell someone. But the roughened hands holding his face would not allow that, nor this unreliable throat of his that constricts on nothing at all.
What has he done to deserve this person? These reassurances? These touches so gentle as if holding something fragile...? And that unwavering gaze that makes his chest collapse in on itself, turning him and his stuttering heart to shambles. Being so utterly seen makes him feel like he's not long for this world.
Just another thing that makes him weak.]
Why are you so—
[Even if he didn't believe what the other said, even if it went against everything he felt about himself, whereas normally he would just swallow his denials and say his thanks instead... This time, that doesn't happen. He's too baffled by the lengths this person goes to, for weak and timid Louis, whom he's only just met today. His eyelids fall tightly shut, as he can't bear the weight of that earnest gaze any longer. But his neck cranes ever so slightly, leaning into this unfathomably warm palm.]
... You're too good to me, Ayer...