prismaticrap | ▶ TDM .003

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▶ TDM .003

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"The Raisins : Fear Is Never Boring" (Watch on YouTube)

▶ Tales from the Crypt
Moon Iris | top

You awaken amidst the darkness with only a faint light to greet you. Your body is hemmed in by shards of crystals, gently sparkling and possibly pricking your skin. The surrounding landscape is dyed in the pinks and purples of the dusk filled with crystals protruding from the ground, some as large as a skyscraper. Even the few shy moon creatures you find in the wild have strange crystal growths on their hides. This is far from home— perhaps a dream? You pinch your skin and slap your cheeks, yet nothing seems to do the trick. Searching for answers yields nothing but an endless expanse of purple dust as far as the eye can see. You have four options: one, panic; two, soil yourself; three, admire it all then soil yourself; or four, go into survival mode. Eventually, you’ll realize that you’re not alone.

After a day or two of living off the crystal wilderness, a group of people find you worse for wear. They are the gallant Moon Knights from the planet of Prismatica. After the strange phenomenon during the past months when scientists observed the sudden appearance of rainbow crystals in the sky, the government has been feverishly combing through the moon for more Moonblessed to be rescued. You’ll eventually be brought into Iris’s moon government center.

You all may have your usual inquiries — Where are we? Who are you? What's going on? Why did I eat those fifty cent street truck tacos last night? — and the Prismals are almost too eager to answer. They tell you about their world and about the first appearance of the Moonblessed as the medical staff give you an examination to make sure you’re not carrying any viruses or biological hazards. If you react violently, you may be restrained and nerfed with a specialized neurotransmitting gun that releases a numbing agent through the top of your spine. Once the examinations are over, you’re informed that you will be provided accommodations on their planet during your stay.

While waiting for transport to be prepared, you may freely roam around the government center. Alternatively, you can ask the staff about the moon base. They suggest that you visit one of their excavation sites nearby: an enormous hole known as the Glory. The scientists have been excavating this site carefully for years, searching for a legendary ancient tomb sleeping within. They’re accepting volunteers if anyone is inclined to aid in their efforts. Perhaps the Moonblessed have the knowledge they need to make it a success!

A ⬤ A chroma-powered lift made of magically fortified crystal is used to access the lower grounds. Be careful not to fall off! On the way down, some translucent caterpillars and crystals light your way. Be quiet and keep an eye out for Queen Bowie beetles: these glowing neon bugs are attracted to music, and a single note will send them flying into your clothes and hair. Putting the beetles under pressure is not advised, as they will explode and send their sticky insides flying throughout the airspace, potentially stinging your eyes. This will make moving around in dark, cramped spaces all the more difficult! Thankfully, they get bored if no one tries to sing for one whole minute.

B ⬤ Scientists, engineers, miners, and archeologists are at the unearthed antechambers, hard at work. They will assign you to different tasks: recording observations and taking down notes, digging with advanced excavation tools, or collecting fragile relics with metal and crystal detectors. The Moonblessed may also assist with solving riddles the ancients left in the tomb’s doors, chests and walls. Solving them may lead to either treasure rooms or trap walls that close in on unsuspecting grave robbers. Others, well...

Golden jellyfish statues line the walls, encrusted with glistening jewels all over, some worse for wear. Tall pillars have numerous ancient runes which the Prismals are struggling to decipher. Soon, an eerie whisper reaches your mind: “Wander no further. A curse awaits all who enter our kingdom. Disturb not those who slumber in the deep.” True enough, the floor from this point onward appears to be blue sand combed in the pattern of ocean waves... Are you brave enough to continue drilling through?

C ⬤ If that is not enough to send you scrambling out with moist underwear, perhaps the seismic jolt to the ground will. A slimy substance begins to ooze out the tomb’s cracks, glowing lilac like the Iris moon... The Prismals are quick to usher everyone out before the shaking gets worse. As the lift may be too dangerous, climbing equipment will be provided. Watch out for falling debris or collapsing rocks while assisting each other out of cramped passages and up the walls to safety. Try not to get stuck in the slime!

This little adventure might leaving you wondering what or who exactly lies deeper inside, but the Prismals are just as clueless as you are. Cave-ins happen from time to time, but this might have been the strongest one recorded on this site.

Eventually you’re called to the docks and led onto a large transport vessel. Destination: Prismatica.

▶ Those Kicks were Fast as Lightning
Higher Lunatia, Level 1 | top

Welcome to Prismatica’s hub, Lunatia, the city of your dreams! A bustling metropolis lush with bright lights, vibrant colors, luxuriant plant life, and all the conveniences of technology absent from your own world… It seems like paradise to all the uninitiated.

With the end of Harvest Boon, the city is calm once more. The streets of Level 1 and 2 are now sparkling clean as always, but Level 3 is still in the process of cleaning up. There are confetti and deflated balloons strewn all over the streets, but Swiffy bots are on the scene, sweeping up whatever waste they can get their hands on. Sometimes, they might even play tug-of-war with you for it. At one of the train stations, a Prismal doomsayer screams about the apocalypse returning. Passersby shrug at the conspiracy theory and move on.

A ⬤ In response to the unexpected rough events during Harvest Boon, the Moon Knights decided to hold free-for-all self-defense seminars at a large park near Lunatia Square. The live demonstrations include proper monster-wrangling procedures and how to efficiently keep a rogue moonheld (read: transformed under the moon) Prismal away. Participants are encouraged to learn and interact with each other to learn various safety practices and techniques. The training visors provided enhance the seminar experience, changing whoever your eyes focus on into a cerberus or other rogue moonheld Prismal on the visor’s display. Don’t use the visors for too long, or you’ll be seeing everyone as a cerberus well after you take the visors off! Fortunately, the effects only last for an hour. Energy drinks and free snacks are available to any worn-out Prismal or Moonblessed.

B ⬤ Virtual lunar conditions are also available via multiplayer VR pods in Lunar Scientia headquarters, simulating the Moonblessed/moonheld experience under full moons. Mental exercises and magic practice sessions are accessible in the virtual spaces, allowing people to test out their magical abilities and transformations. Simulation participants can either train by themselves, with a partner, or through a tutorial of instruction-based movements. However, the program is still in beta. You may experience errors or bugs like lagging, NPCs phasing into things they shouldn’t, weird physics, or body glitches.

▶ Meas Trees are the Bee’s Knees
Middle Lunatia, Level 2 | top

The rows of Meas trees planted this Harvest Boon are blossoming beautifully into view, painting the fields in Level 2 with colors of spring. Meas tree saplings each have a small sign next to them, displaying their owners’ written wish if they chose to disclose it. Interestingly, the color and aroma of each flower depends on the owners; fiery personalities might have red or orange flowers, those born in a coastal town might have flowers that smell like the sea near their hometown, and so on. Maybe you’ll encounter a familiar aroma if you’re lucky enough.

The Moonblessed who were most active with moonlacing the past few weeks have the largest trees, nearly rivaling the oldest Meas trees around. The older trees planted by Prismals over time can be seen in the next field, standing majestically with their swaying branches and flying petals.

A ⬤ Picnic grounds for flower viewings can be found near the fields. There are plenty of stalls selling homemade bruschettas, crostinis, sandwiches, wines, cheeses, and other enjoyable finger food. Notably, some wines may give you an insatiable desire to whisper things in someone’s ear. Sweet nothings, death threats, your secret kinks—no matter the words, you’ll want to kill someone softly with them.

B ⬤ The Swiffy bots that are assigned to the parks and gardens in Level 2 help keep things spick and span, but they’re due for maintenance and may attempt to sweep off any unfortunate picnics with their high-powered vacuums or leaf blowers. As they zoom across the paths, they chirrup about not treading on the grass and take off with picnic blankets, table cloths, and people’s clothes. Any nearby maintenance staff (who are all desperately trying to chase the bots) yell that a conk on the head will immobilize them. Once the malfunctioning bots are stopped, the staff approach to wheel them away while apologising profusely for the mayhem.

▶ Questions

If you have any questions regarding this test drive meme, please ask them in the Questions thread below.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Hand-to-hand combat is this certain someone's speed, but he'll need some time to get ready. After all, he's just arrived, and he's not in the mood for a fight—yet.

Archer's coffin is hard to miss. Assassin saunters over to where the man is, stretching his arms as he watches the same demonstrations. It might be a waste of time in the end, but it won't hurt to see what kind of opponents he'll be up against. Today's friend can be tomorrow's enemy. That was his life then, so there's no reason for it to be any different now.]

Hahahahaha! Lively as ever, ain't we, professor? If you're a bag of bones, then I'm a delicate flower. Oh! Won't someone help us?

[ Well, there's a familiar voice. He looks over to see exactly what he suspects, dips his head in acknowledgment and greeting. They were never really at odds back in Shinjuku, despite wildly different methods of operating, and their defeat isn't going to change that. The recognition is welcome, in a way. ]

Yes, we could certainly use some aid rather than go out of our way!

[ He shifts to rest a hand on the coffin rather than lean his whole weight against it. ]

Appearances aside, there's very little doubt you would come out the winner in an unarmed fight and there's no use denying that. Perhaps instead of a fight, we could just skip to something else?

[ There was the time he was fused with a certain something and almost lost his mind, but he's not really about old grudges when they're not worth talking about. It's not like he Archer killed his master, no? It's fine.

Even if they were at odds, he'd still approach him the same way. Assassin taps his chip in thought. ]

True, true! Some old geezers [ really just old Li ] like to hound me for fights, but I ain't really about kicking senior citizen ass. As a peace-loving gentleman, I would gladly accept a more amicable settlement! But also as a gentleman, I kinda doubt what you're planning and stuff.

Whatever, it's probably interesting. Let's hear it!

[ Yeah but it's not like Archer knew that would happen when he fused them! Just gotta roll with the punches and all that. ]

Oh? I'm very glad to be in your high esteem, Assassin! However, even geniuses such as myself need time to work up to any truly great works.

[ If he's got something, he isn't going to tell it just yet. ]

[ That's valid. But also, dammit Archer, stop doing things.

Assassin squints. ]

Are you stalling? It sorta sounds like you're stalling. It sounds like you're just full of hot air! What a pain. Maybe I should start punching old men after all...

You wouldn't!

[ Archer looks offended, shifting just enough to grip his hand around the chain of his coffin. It might be a joke, but knowing who this is also means it might not be. He's so hard to predict! ]

No, I'm not stalling! I'm merely learning as much as I can before coming to a decision about things!

[He bursts into laughter, boisterous as ever. That's more like it! Direct and straight to the point. Evil masterminds are so hard to keep up with.]

If I were you, I'd make the decision to learn some baritsu. Obviously!

[Now he's just here to take a jab at him.]

No! Absolutely anything but that!

[ Why does everyone tease him about baritsu?! Never, ever! ]

Maybe I should learn your moves and become a second doppelganger! Hahaha!

Hey, hey! You're gonna hurt Doppel's feelings, professor! Hahahaha.

[Because that's the only thing it's good at, but Assassin is not cruel enough to point that out.

He turns his attention back to the seminar.]

I gotta say, I dunno if these demonstrations are gonna help anybody fight those cerberus — cerberuses? — off. Sure gave me some trouble. But the circumstances were a liiiittle different then...

[ He just chuckles in return. Even if he wanted to learn some sort of martial arts, it would have to be something special to not make him a pathetic ball of pain considering the eternal state of his joints. ]

Hm, I believe they were being called moonheld. I don't know much about them myself, however, would you entertain an old man and let him in on what you know?

You know, I normally do this informant stuff for a fee. [Assassin makes a gesture with his thumb and forefinger. That's not how cash works around here, but it's idea that's important.] But you'll get the same thing from everyone else, and I'm in a pretty good mood right now! So I'll just tell ya.

The moons make eeeeveryone on this planet transform. [He twirls a finger in the air.] Even you and me. Kinda like a planet of werewolves, you know what I mean? Those are the moonheld. They got a different term for us, but... Eh, I'll skip it. I don't wanna be redundant.

Now there are three moons: Sanguis, Cordis, and Iris. There's a different moon up in the sky every five days from the start of the month. When you transform depends on which moon you're under. For example: if our Master is under the influence of the Iris moon, she'd transform only when the Iris moon is up. Following me so far? Of course you are!

Yes, you're being surprisingly straightforward.

[ Look, it's a compliment, okay? Or close enough. He's obviously taking it all in and setting it aside. Unwilling transformations under a moon's light seems more than a little bit troublesome, especially when it appears such things can necessitate self-defense lessons like the ones they're at right now. ]

How does one determine what moon they fall under?

[He holds his chest in mock (???) joy. It's hard to tell with him.]

Ah, I was praised! Great audience I'm having today. As for your question: I don't know! Sorry to disappoint. No theories or formulas about it. I even hear that sometimes, folks don't transform at all. It's a tricky thing to figure out. You'll just haveta feel your way outta this one, professor!

[Assassin knows he did the hard way. A formula to it would be nice to have, but it probably wouldn't be as fun.]

There's something you should know, though. Last month, all three moons were in the sky. Now that's when we started having problems!

[ Hard to tell, but hardly that bothersome, either. It's perfectly acceptable, he ain't care if Assassin is gonna be all silly about it. ]

Nothing, hm? Disappointing, but that you don't know doesn't mean it's impossible to calculate, either!

[ Feeling? When he could be mathing? Surely you jest. ]

... ah. That does sound very sticky. Most everyone transformed at once?

[ Assassin's not going to tell the nerd to stop with the numbers, but he is going to let him know when he's hit the bulls-eye. He snaps his fingers. ]

Bingo. It was pretty hard to find someone who didn't look like our pal Edison. [ Edison is not their pal, but they breathed the same air at some point, so it's fine, probably. ] It ain't the sorta thing you can control, you see. Sometimes you grow cat ears, sometimes you just get a little frisky, and sometimes, well...

[ He grins. ]

I'll let you see for yourself. I hear they've got simulators at the Lunar Scientia.

[ His eyes narrow in aborted confusion. Of course, he knows who Edison must be referring to but the allusion to a chimerical appearance is distracting at best. Guess who hasn't actually been summoned to Chaldea yet? ]

It seems this society is rather more... permissive than the one I grew up in.

[ Not that it's a surprise. Shinjuku itself would have been a wild culture shock without the Servant system to lean into. That said, he does look around with some curiosity. He's still learning the lay of the land, but Lunar Scientia is now embedded into his mind for later investigation. ]

Simulators, and yet they have no idea what thrall we are under? How fascinating!

Yeah, well, Victorian England's the one with a stick up its ass. You'll get used to it!

[ The lunar cycles or Prismatica's liberal values? It sounds like a bit of both. Assassin is rather short compared to Archer, but it doesn't stop him from resting an elbow on his shoulder. ]

Sure, the werecerberus thing's a minor setback, but think of Prismatica as an opportunity. I mean, look at all this! Easy money, easy fame, tabula rasa. Personally, I left the money and power stuff behind me, and moonlacing ain't really my thing, but you know... [ There it is: the glint of mischief in his smile. ] I think I know a few who'd like a silver fox. Just to get you started!

[ He does not, so this will turn out terribly. ]

Quite so.

[ Getting used to it shouldn't be difficult, at any rate. Adapt or die, and he isn't keen on dying again anytime soon. Why should he, when he could simply learn the new rules and how to bend them to his own needs? ]

Tablua Rasa, is it? I wouldn't say that! You're here, which opens the opportunity of many other troublesome figures following. [ We all know who he's thinking about. ]

A-ah... Is that so? A silver fox, do you think?

[ At the least, he hasn't shaken Assassin off his shoulder, shifting somewhat under his weight to allow it despite the height difference. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

▶ TDM .003

kicks

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I'm too lazy for special letters tonight, forgive me

that's okay, I always forget so I'm the worse one here

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