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[prismods]

SHOOTING SHARK

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"Blue Oyster Cult - Shooting Shark" (Watch on YouTube)

You awaken amidst the darkness with only a faint light to greet you. Your body is hemmed in by shards of crystals, gently sparkling and possibly pricking your skin. The surrounding landscape is dyed in the pinks and purples of the dusk filled with crystals protruding from the ground, some as large as a skyscraper. Even the few shy moon creatures you find in the wild have strange crystal growths on their hides. This is far from home— perhaps a dream? You pinch your skin and slap your cheeks, yet nothing seems to do the trick. Searching for answers yields nothing but an endless expanse of purple dust as far as the eye can see. You have four options: one, panic; two, soil yourself; three, admire it all then soil yourself; or four, go into survival mode. Eventually, you’ll realize that you’re not alone.

▶ Keep all Hands and Feet inside the Burning Vehicle at all Times
Iris Moon, Government Center (Arrival) and Outer Space | top

After a day or two of living off the crystal wilderness, a group of people find you worse for wear. They are the gallant Moon Knights from the planet of Prismatica. After the strange phenomenon during the past months when scientists observed the sudden appearance of rainbow crystals in the sky, the government has been feverishly combing through the moon for more Moonblessed to be rescued. You’ll eventually be brought into Iris’s moon government center.

You all may have your usual inquiries — Where are we? Who are you? What's going on? Why did I mix tequila with xanax last night? — and the Prismals are almost too eager to answer. They tell you about their world and about the first appearance of the Moonblessed as the medical staff give you an examination to make sure you’re not carrying any viruses or biological hazards. If you react violently, you may be restrained and nerfed with a specialized neurotransmitting gun that releases a numbing agent through the top of your spine. Once the examinations are over, you’re informed that you will be provided accommodations on their planet during your stay.

While waiting for transport to be prepared, you may freely roam around the government center. Eventually you’re called back from exploring, escorted to the docks, and led onto a large transport vessel that makes frequent trips back and forth between the moons and the planet. Faces onboard vary from both old and new Moonblessed as well as Prismal locals. The next destination: Prismatica.

A. After settling into the ship and selecting the current in-flight movie, Back Door Slugs 9, you and those around you may eventually feel a bit of turbulence during the movie’s highly anticipated climax. Did anyone notice it, or is everyone too focused on the hot characters?

At first, it’s a small jitter that’s easy to miss or brush off. But as the transport vessel travels on, the shaking progressively escalates to erratic tremors strong enough to cause severe nausea. A minute later, a voice over the speaker announces the ship will have to make an emergency landing, citing technical difficulties.

Sparks can be seen overhead as more ship parts malfunction. This is a good time to hold your neighbor’s hand, say your last goodbyes, and apologize for that horrible thing you did in the sixth grade. Grip your seat with the might of every god you can think of.

B. Another minute later, a follow-up announcement states that external entities have breached the transport vessel. Everyone is warned to be careful and watch out for each other. Small fires will have to be put out before they worsen with either magic or emergency equipment onboard such as extinguishers. In-flight robotic attendants will be scuttling around to perform immediate repairs.

Eventually, an entire power panel bursts, and prismatic jellyfish unnaturally spill out. The jellyfish will try to latch and suction onto any technological devices close by such as the television screens on the seats or communicators and will show preference to Iris Moonblessed over the rest. Be ready to help and pull numerous jellyfish off both the faces of Moonblessed and Prismals!

▶ Jaws IV: Jaws Harder
Planet Prismatica, Outer Lunatia | top

The emergency landing successfully completes and the transport vessel will safely land on top of a gorgeous lake filled with tiny glaciers floating by. When reached out and touched, you’ll find out that the “glaciers” are surprisingly cool crystals and not ice.

The ship will be left hovering idly on the water surface while passengers are ferried to solid ground using portable emergency boats. However, civilization is still a distance away.

A. You’ve probably heard of flying sharks from a veteran Moonblessed. But how about sea lions? These aquatic lions are born with scaly skin and gills outside of their crystallized manes. Unfortunately, they haven’t tasted fresh meat in quite some time. If there are any injured onboard or near your boat, the chances of the sea lions detecting people will be higher as they are drawn to the scent of blood. Growling hungrily, they will be quick to latch onto the boats, biting the edges, and trying to knock everyone overboard for dinner.

After surviving through so far, the Prismals guide everyone to a nearby encampment run by humanoid rabbits. They are tall, built, and have a habit of mentioning their virility an awkward amount of times. They are also generous and will share their game meat and fresh crops while allowing everyone to rest for the night at the only inn in their village.

B. There is no running water all the way out here, so if anyone wants a bath, they’ll have to do it traditionally. The village protects a natural spring, which is a good place to bathe away the sea water. Around the spring, the rabbit folk’s friends — little scintilla chinchillas — will shock away any predators that dare to approach their sanctuary! Be at ease and feel free to offer your friends shampoo massages.

The next day, the rabbits can be seen hacking away at some of the wilder-looking plants for an easier pathway. If you wake up early enough, you can ask some of them for a tour of the beautiful greenery. They mention that it’s thanks to the Moonblessed that their crops have been doing so well lately — the result of all the chroma influx. The rest of the journey to the city will be smooth sailing.





▶ It’s Free Real-Estate
Level 2, City of Lunatia | top

Welcome to Prismatica’s hub, Lunatia, the city of your dreams! A bustling metropolis lush with bright lights, vibrant colors, luxuriant plant life, and all the conveniences of technology absent from your own world… It seems like paradise to all the uninitiated. After a quick tour of the city, new arrivals can find themselves getting cozy in their new homes.

A. Find new roommates and say hello to your neighbors! City officials will give you directions to the designated districts across Level 2 and instruct you to pick out a unit. Each apartment complex has a different aesthetic, some may look cozy, some stylish, and some bizarre. The free accommodations have a basic living space that can only fit two or three people at most in one unit.

Starter Chromaspace furnishings are provided which can be controlled with the touch of a built-in panel. Examples are color-changing curtains, transforming sofa beds, cabinets turning into tables, etc. Customizing your apartment or moving out will have to wait until you earn more chroma. Until then, why don’t you check out your new neighborhood or explore the city levels? Maybe your new roommates or neighbors can give you a “hand” with allowance for dinner.

B. A new high-end boutique, Prissy Polyp, has opened in Level 2. As compensation for what happened, both Moonblessed and Prismals that were affected in yesterday’s flight will receive 50% off their total purchase. Those unaffected will receive 30% discount coupons as a promotional gift. All are encouraged to visit with their friends or special someone, try on some things together, enjoy each other in the fitting rooms, and deal with the loud, ear-blistering background pop music.

Their clothing collections are characterized by bright iridescent designs, some features such as design patterns may glow ethereally in the dark. One of their signature dresses features a one piece (also available on their trench coats) that can amplify the appearance of one’s decolletage, gluteal muscles, and/or bulge with the press of a neon button. Another item among their collection is the maiden sweater: a sleek, backless sweater that shocks those who attempt unwanted touches. Others include skin-tight leggings (also available on their shorts or pants) which produce pleasant and relaxing vibrations on all lower extremities and fashionable polyp-shaped hats for all kinds of people. It’s a huge shop, you never know what else to find in there.

▶ Questions
If you have any questions regarding this test drive meme, please ask them in the Questions thread below.

▶ IMPORTANT! By request, we've uploaded image samples for the Prissy Polyp clothing collections! Note these are merely samples for a visual guide and we will leave more selections to players.

▶ As a reminder, test drive memes are for new characters only. However, current players are more than welcome to use these prompts for their own posts in the IC communities, personal inboxes, catch-all posts, etc.!
▶ As our test drive memes are game canon, feel free to keep any threads that happen here as canon for your character should they be accepted.

Comments

[itsknighttime]

Dave doesn't feel like this is fun and games either. He feels stressed out and not sure how or what to say where it doesn't end up re-learning the boundary of aggression that comes with being a Strider. No, the boundaries of aggression where it comes to being a Strider that's alive at the same time as an older, stronger Strider. He shrugs his shoulder, assessing the not weird comment with it in a non committal way.

He fully understands the undertaking of what he's said and what he's offered and that Dirk could give a fuck less what Dave thinks. At least, in Dave's perspective and how fucked up is it that with all the things he said to Dirk and knowing, at least in his heart, that Dirk doesn't actually give a shit and probably blames him for something Dave has no clue about... He can't just let him on his own. It isn't so he can make sure Dirk isn't fucking everything that moves and things that try to move with enough gust of wind, it's something else and while Dirk is trying to understand himself, Dave is trying to understand too.

None of it is making sense. Okay, some of it, but not all of it and that's enough to be none in this situation. "Yeah, you could." find a purpose. There isn't much else to say, he wants to encourage things he knows is going to distract Dirk from being Dirk and yet he's not sure he knows how to do that anymore. It means at least he might not have to learn how to sleep with his eyes open again maybe, possibly, actually. Dry eyes suck. He doesn't comment on Dirk saying he isn't a pussy, it could have been either way. Either Dave is being scolded for insinuating it and therefore putting a finger toward his manhood or he's actually trying not to be a douche bag and it's too hard to tell.

Quiet after, he waits for Bro to make his decision and he nods his head once or twice along with him. That's decided. Decided and Dave already feels the cold twist of his actions, he knows this isn't going to be easy. Dave turns his front to Dirk, leaning against the wall to sip his juice and finish it up and an odd quirk comes to his eyebrow almost as if he's searching his memory.

"I never even noticed." mainly because he had been too busy looking for other things that were more life threatening. "Or you did and there's still bodies somewhere in that house." it's a passing joke and he tosses the juicebox into the sink for now. He'll clean it up later. "I barely survived, I don't see a normie walking in there, tits in hand and walking out alive. Or." he shrugs a shoulder, "Maybe you'd have been a gentleman and disarmed the traps. How should I know?"

It's just then that Dave is noticing how his muscles feel and there's rolls of his shoulder or bends of his neck to alleviate some of the feeling after having to go into full on Dirk's getting mad mode. "You could take the room this time, I'm not that interested in boning anyone here." Even if he is, which he is, there's no way he's telling Dirk that.

[broyonce]

Everything they do is fucked up. That's just how they are. And honestly? That's Dirk's fault, though genetics probably come into it too. This, the quiet, the small gestures, is more normal, to his recollection, and he doesn't know how he feels about that either.

He watches Dave, catalogs him, thinks about him. This is rough, he knows, but Dave can take it. Dave can take a whole lot of shit. Always has. It doesn't occur to Dirk that he shouldn't have to, because neither of them ever had that luxury.

"You grew," Dirk amends, about Dave barely surviving, like that makes it any better. They both know he's not going to apologize, though Dirk is unaware that Dave thinks it was some bullshit about hating him as opposed to what it actually was, which was doing what he thought was best. Even though he was wrong. Which he'll never admit. "But no, I stopped bringing anyone around once I got you. Stopped going out too. Just you and me." And Cal, but he feels weird suddenly mentioning him, which is--weird, and he sure hates that. It is kinda funny, for Dave to mention him bringing in people with tits, because he sure never did that even when he lived alone, but he's been weird and repressed for so goddamn long that he doesn't even correct him.

He raises an eyebrow slightly, at the offer. "Earlier you vehemently didn't want me in your room. Anyway, it's your place, not mine, and you really don't need to worry about me bringing anyone back to your apartment to fuck." Bluntly. "I lived this long without," which is a joke, because he's dead, "so I'll be fine until I get my own place. Besides, I got plans other than that. Business plans."

Oh no. Dirk, no. Please don't start a smut empire in fuck city.

[itsknighttime]

Dave doesn't correct Dirk, either, he didn't grow. He got stronger and that's what Dirk means but he's not saying it. He's not saying a lot of things and even though there's a lot to take in, they're falling back easier into the routine of where not to step and what not to bother elaborating on for the lack of give a shit. It's genuinely frightening how easy it is for Dave to just eat down all the things he feels and let them get locked away in favour of not dealing with Dirk's ire over them. There's going to be a time, a place, but that time and place isn't right now.

The Knight never thought of it that way, from Dirk's perspective. Maybe because the only perspective Dave had was of his elaborate ways to try to kill him to make him stronger. It's something he's admitted to people even here. He does notice the distinct lack of Cal in that statement and feels like maybe it's too soon to start talking about that, too. There's goin to be yet another time and plays, but yet again that time and place isn't now. "I prob'ly would've scared them off anyway. Far as I know, normal human kids don't move at a speed beyond light." Or have the ability to be thrown one way and change their direction mid-flight just to cling. Now it's the two of them again and Dave feels responsible for his behaviour.

He shouldn't and Dirk has already scolded him for it but he knows how controlling and manipulative he can be. Can be? Is. Knows how controlling and manipulative he is. "Then I guess you go out the window if you want the bedroom." he doesn't care where he stays. The commentary chain on telling Dirk to just hang a sock on the door is stopped dead in its tracks and Dave tilts his head.

Then it hits him and he doesn't really know what to do with it. "You're not going to start a kink empire." That's not a question, he knows some how, somewhere, there will be a kink empire. "You know what?" on second thought, "Fuck it. If there's anywhere that shit might actually work-" And keep him out of trouble, "-it'd probably be here." He sighs, setting his glasses aside for now on top of the TV, "Probably be here, probably be you who could pull it off." and a run of his hands through his hair after a soft rub to his eyes.

He really hates this place, he hates its reason and he hates it trying to force people together with guilt trips of crops and people needing them. "Last bitch tears thing I'm going to say, I'm at least glad you're not dead. I'm leavin' it at that and there's my peace. Just... don't get dead here too. I hear it doesn't stick but I don't want round two of finding you like that."

[broyonce]

Neither of them say shit. That's the status quo. That's how things are. Hell, Dirk wouldn't have known how to talk to anyone when he was a kid even if he'd had someone, and he unconsciously put that on Dave too. Sure, it made him strong in some ways, but he's realizing it made him weak in others.

"Their fault if they couldn't handle what a fuckin' cool baby you were." Okay, amended: this is the nicest thing Dirk has ever said to anyone.

Anyway. Yeah, he's controlling and manipulative. That's him all over. He doesn't even have to try, it just comes naturally. He shakes his head at the window comment though. "Don't need a bedroom."

But Dave switches focus to the smut peddling and he cants his head aside, real casual, and looks at Dave with a sense of scrutiny. "Gotta get the fuckbucks somehow, and keepin' busy sounds real nice." Does Dirk intend to try and game the system by opening a business so that he never has to actually get intimate with anyone and face his own proclivities? Yes. What the fuck, Dirk. Even if that's not how it works, he's going to try. "Not sure what yet, though. Gotta ruminate."

So, perhaps surprisingly, not smuppets.

What Dave says next strikes him though, hard, and for a split-second he almost looks fucking winded. "Ain't gonna die here," he says, confirmation. "Once is enough for me to learn a whole lotta lessons."

It's--an odd promise, but that's what it is. A promise. Fucking imagine.

There's a silence that draws on, because he doesn't know what to say. Finally, he looks over at him. "Got a question," he says, a little too bluntly, then adds: "you don't gotta answer, but I gotta ask."

He's actually not being mean by being vague. He literally has no idea how terrifying that sentence could be.

Time of the day to emotional bread.

[itsknighttime]

A cool baby.

He isn't a baby anymore, but that's not what he's fixated on, he had been a cool baby. That sounds like a nice thing to say and yet Dave doesn't know if it's for Dirk's benefit or his own that he had a cool baby. If he has to put his finger on it, he just got complimented. Holyshit. Okay. Two impossible things happened today. Dirk is alive and also he got a compliment of some sort out of it.

Not only that but he gets to keep his room. Where he will sit and be a fucking hermit himself with the barrier of the door between him and Dirk until he's sure things are actually safe. It's easier to talk to him about a porn empire than it is to talk to him about living arrangements, or any of the things that've happened with him during the three years for Dave that Dirk has been dead. Par for the course of a Strider but it doesn't mean that it doesn't suck. "Whatever it is, you'll figure it out." he can't promise he'll help, but he can't promise he won't help either. It's still Dirk and this is literally the most improvement he's ever seen in his guardian's life. Maybe when they're done the impromptu feels jam he can explain it's a lot easier than planning an entire empire.

The promise is one he's going to hold the other Strider to, Dave wouldn't be able to take it and it's something that Dirk had better not forget the promise of. It's one of the most important of what's been said here and Dave is going to have to learn to trust Dirk to be there the day after. When Dave... not wakes up, because Dave isn't going to sleep for that week well for a while, but when he does wake up or does come home or does check in, it better not be at a grave. He'll be so mad that he'll wait around for a necromancer to show up just to kick Dirk's ass.

Dirk never asks to ask questions, either. This is a lot of firsts for Dave and he takes tentative steps over and sits down next to Dirk still pulling himself into his own corner. Mostly because it's comfortable and the other part of it is his own mental comfort. "Okay, ask your question. I got about twenty things it could be so I may as well hear it and not guess."

let''s get that breeeaaad

[broyonce]

Dirk can't promise things will be safe. He's restless, and paranoid, and proprietary, and he's definitely going to pull some shit. That said, he's also... You know, sticking around a little. For now. Sure, he's rattled by dying, but it's clear Dave's still rattled by him dying years later.

It does suck. It sucks that they're both like this. Not that Dirk has anything interesting to contribute. Dave's the one with three years of time. "Yeah," he confirms. "Maybe I'll go into restaurants." What. That's not porn. Surely there's a catch. That's peak irony, though. A guy that never cooked running a restaurant.

He intends to keep his promise, at least, as well as he can. This place might prove a challenge, but he's up for it. He's got to be. It'll be easy to hermit and keep his head down, right? Sure. Having Dave around will help.

Dirk finishes his apple juice and sets the box down, finally sitting back against the back of the couch. He watches Dave, really watches him, and nods. "What happened..." He pauses, for a moment viscerally unsure if he should be doing this, visibly so, which should be unsettling, then continues. "What happened to Cal?" It'd be such a normal question, in any other family. But it's almost like Dirk, who never indicated that he noticed anything wrong with that evil-ass puppet, knows that something's off.

He's always known things he shouldn't, though.

[itsknighttime]

In his heart of hearts, Dave knows that Dirk can't promise him anything. Maybe being dead gives you blood clots for all he knows. Then again he's met several doctors and one of which he's betting would help him without much prompting. She's also hot as hell so he's betting he can use that to his advantage getting Dirk there maybeprobablymaybenot. If he can't admit it to himself right now, he's sure not going to admit to Dirk that he actually does need him. He needs him for a lot of things like proving once and for all that either he hates him for ruining his gigolo life before he became a sex industry mogul and didn't need it. Or he's been wrong and God he hopes he's wrong. He feels thirteen all over again trying to prove himself one way or another when really he doesn't have to and wishes his brain wasn't against him in the process of it.

"Res..." he tilts his head, eyes slitting behind his glasses and the posture says enough for someone like Dirk who's lived his life seeing past shades. "If it's not ethnic food and doesn't include sum yung gai I'm fuckin' rioting and not helping." Restaurants sound really safe. Safe and like he won't have to explain to anyone... Who's he kidding? He knows Dirk is going to do something with it. It'll just be a matter of sitting back and watching as the irony master worked his magic.

Dave really wishes that the other nineteen questions were the question that Dirk asked him and not about Cal. It's not easy to answer. "Nothing. He's the same as he always has been." It's not a lie. Not exactly. "Just he isn't here." If he gets caught in his white lie, then he gets caught in his white lie. It's true, though, that Dirk just seems to know things. "Why? Missing your girlfriend?"

[broyonce]

He doesn't have fucking blood clots, Dave. He also hasn't been to a doctor in literal decades, and telling him one is a hot woman isn't about to get him to change his mind, sorry. But he's here, right now, and that's what matters, right? Better late (hah, late) than never.

"Tex-mex." That sounds innocuous. Really innocuous. "Tacos, specifically." Oh, no. There's so much material there. "I'll iron out the details later. Menu items, names." He feels an odd pang at the idea of Dave actually helping, but presses that thought down. Not now.

(Then when?)

Dave should know better than to lie to a human lie detector. "Bullshit," he says, and there's a tension there that's not directed at Dave, inexplicably. But he takes a breath. Quiets. "David." Now that one's a rarity. "Let me rephrase. What happened with Cal?" There's a sharpness to his tone. "Don't be a little shit, either."

[itsknighttime]

Maybe, maybe not. If hot chick won't work, what about free pastry? That's why Dave goes. Wait, no it's because of the hot chick. Shit. All that aside and the restaurant ideas start flowing from his brother's mouth and it's just not stopping until he hits on tacos. "Tacos? Really? You're going for the obvious vag gag? Bro. C'mon I know you better. I expect a report on my desk by Monday." Whenever Monday is, Dave hasn't even been checking the days. He could care less. He's been more fixated on finding out how to get Karkat to be able to sleep properly after stalking reading his conversation with aforementioned doctor.

Dave shifts uncomfortably in his seat when he gets called out instantaneously on the bullshit rightly called on and tucks his legs up a little closer hearing his full name. Shit. Okay, he's been called the fuck out and Dirk knows he's lying. He should come to expect this but he had a hope there's no reason to answer. Thirteen all over again and the earlier gusto about standing up to Dirk has no home in Dave's chest. "I'm..." going to get his ass beaten if he lies again, that's what he is. "He's gone, dude. He fucked us over, turned out to be linked through game bullshit to be a giant green prick and a bunch of ghosts killed him I think." He cant say 'I hope'. "I don't want to talk about it."

[broyonce]

"What? You think I'm going to make some pussy jokes because they're tacos and call it a day? I just like tacos. You've been away from me too long. No, this is going all-in." Honestly. Like he'd leave it at that. "Can't decide if I want to hire a real good cook or double down on the shit-tier."

that's more like his usual.

Anyway, the conversation shifts, and it's bad, and Dirk is tense and his hands grip at his knees briefly, and he's looking at the floor and that's weird, because Dirk always looks at Dave, always, never breaks shades-contact, and he listens. "I always knew when something was wrong. Something bad coming. You knew that, right? Could tell right away. But I'm no future-teller. I just know something is wrong, not what's wrong. Just got intuition. Senses. The shit I tried to instill in you." He pauses, trying to place his thoughts. Cal being 'linked through game bullshit to a giant green prick' doesn't like, tell him much, but it tells hims something that sits weighty on his sternum.

"Every goddamn day of my life, something was wrong. The same thing. Day in, day out. But I never knew what. Just assumed it was the impending doom." Can Dave even follow what he's trying to say, here? He raises a hand, takes his hat off, and tosses it aside, dragging his fingers through impeccably-gelled hair. It stands on end. "Something's wrong now, too, but it's a different wrong." Dirk thinks this is the most they've talked, ever, and that unsettles him. "Ain't been around Cal a while. Only thing that's changed, other than dying. Think the something wrong now is with me. Maybe was with me all along."

[itsknighttime]

Dave really wishes that the conversation had stayed on tacos and why they aren't just jokes centring around female anatomy. He knows that Dirk is going to be upset, Cal is important, was important to both of them in some way. Dave never felt right around him and sometimes he could scare the shit out of Dave, but he still grew up as a big part of his life until the broody teen years. He stays quiet, looking on as Dirk breaks the unbroken eyesight. There's no easy way to say that something, someone essentially meaningful to Dirk was fucking everything up. At a point Dave knew something was up, so he just nods his head to answer Dirk. He's saying enough words that Dave is sure this counts as a mini biography in comparison to the minuscule amount of words Dirk usually needs.

It's this and other things he has considered over the time that remind him Dirk is just as human. It doesn't excuse any of the things he did and Dave is pointedly not going to add anything to the conversation when it turns to what he did or didn't try to "instill" on him. He beat him and scared him senseless.

Fuck.
The hat has come off and the hair isn't in perfect arrangement. "That's why you asked about him." Not a question, a statement and one that Dave needs to say out loud. He thought Dirk was going to go on some unholy bent hell to find him and Dave stopping him wasn't going to be easy. "Like. I didn't hate Cal, the puppet I mean, I didn't like all the shit you had around the house but I didn't dislike Cal." He's almost Dave's other parent. "But yeah, Bro, you probably do. Fuck, I did when I got away from him, too." He shrugs his shoulders, his legs folding under him and he leans against the back of the couch. "He's bad news man, sorry. Much as you're a douche bag it can't be all you."

[broyonce]

"Feels stupid now, looking back." Not--liking Cal, or needing Cal, or using Cal as a fucking crutch, emotionally, when he had no one else, not even Dave. "'Course the only constant in my life was the problem. Just--didn't want to see that."

He still doesn't know details about Cal and what was done to his own fucking brain and soul, but was he being manipulated as much as he was manipulating the world around him? Manipulating Dave? "I don't think I was changed fundamentally." He says it real quiet and kind of flat. He's well aware of his own personality. "I think I was--amplified."

If that makes sense. Finally, he takes a breath and shoves his hat back on, leaning his head back and staring at the ceiling instead. That much paranoia and us-vs-them isn't fucking normal. He doesn't say that, though. He doesn't say much more of anything, really, and apparently he's all talked out for a while. But it's not a violent silence, or an angry one. It's not a comfortable one either, but there's a sort of profound melancholy to it that he can't shake.

[itsknighttime]

Dave doesn't know what he's witnessing, but whatever it is it almost seems like Dirk is melting down over it in a way that at least isn't going to land him healing a few days. He doesn't know what to say to make it better and he doesn't really want to make whatever this is better, it feels like something Dirk actually needs. It sounds like that at least and Dave isn't going to interrupt it. Fidgety as he is, Dave shifts again so his back is facing the cushy back of the couch and he can lean his head back to look up at the ceiling.

"Well he ain't here." Dave says lightly, no malice intended, just the facts. "Whatever you figure's gone on, it can't get you here." It's all he has to offer and it's not even really his words, he has been talking to people that gave similar advice about the game and its far reaches as if he needed comfort about his world blowing up. "You can get your super saiyan kamehameha's on without Cal and still, I dunno. Exist?" Still upset about all the things in the past, he's trying hard not to forget that even if he wants to say a lot of things, he has the opportunity to say them to Dirk's face because he's alive.

"All that's here's me and like for whatever reason you and this shitty tiny apartment." He stays silent for a few, long moments, dragging in a sigh and letting it out just as long. "I didn't hate Cal, he was cool at times." it wasn't his fault he was possessed. Maybe that'll help Dirk. Probably not but it's at least an attempt made. "...Anyways."

[broyonce]

Yeah, he's having the mildest breakdown ever. Mild for him, anyway, when normally he's be vicious, or violent. Right now he's just... Tired. Bone tired in a way he's never been. Shit. This is stupid. This is so much. Were there versions of him that were better? Worse? He's not sure he wants to know.

"He ain't," Dirk agrees, voice low and slow. "I ain't afraid, just--unsettled. Don't know what's me and what's not." He makes a sound at the stupid kamehameha comment, rolling his eyes behind his glasses before closing them. "This place is weird as shit. Not only am I alive, the other day a tiny skeleton sat on me and told me bad jokes while I couldn't escape. I briefly reconsidered atheism in light of what was clearly a vengeful god punishing the shit out of me in the most ironic way possible."

It's such a stupid thing to say, but it's not emotions, which he doesn't want to think about. But Dave's commentary is right, at least. "Yeah. You're here." That's important, apparently. He thinks about Dave not hating Cal for a minute.

"Did you--" He pauses a minute. "You know what, fuck it, nevermind. I sure as shit don't want to know."

[itsknighttime]

It's still surreal for the young knight to think of Dirk being there, too. Fine is as good as he could get his brain to cooperate with. It's fine. "C'mon no one said afraid." Dave reminds, not wanting Dirk to think he's going there. If anything, Dirk has never been that, never afraid. Or maybe he has been. Who knows? Without missing a beat Dave snorts an amused sound and shrugs. "I hate that doesn't even phase me. I met a guy who calls on weaponized schizophrenia as a power and controls shit like Hades. Met a really cool alien moth guy, a vampire who has a cool old guy club hes making himself... a girl who says that in her world they shove women in a box of water for rituals like it's every day. You want to talk fucked up? That chick. Fucked up. Just wants to be normal but doesn't look like she's gettin' out of that trauma." He shrugs his shoulder again, the 'idk' of Striderisms. "Only thing kept me sane was a bit of home."

Okay that sounds like another compliment and like he's glad Dave is here. He did come looking for him, or so he says, but why would he be there otherwise? The cut off of the question. "Nah." he turns his head toward Dirk, rolling it to the side to be able to look at him and offering him the same thing his teenaged self had. Everything is paradox and karma anyway, may as well perpetuate it. "You an' me? We're gonna shut down how we feel once shit goes back to normal. You know it. I know it. While we're both still in whatever kind of shock this is and remember we got vocal cords, ask. I'll answer. No bullshit this time."

[broyonce]

"I know you didn't." He's reminding himself. There's a silence as he listens to Dave list off some of his weirdest encounters. "They what?" Okay, that last one got even him. What the fuck. "That's just sad." He doesn't remember the last time he was sad, but he's aware, objectively, of what things are or are not sad. And that shit is sad. "Better off here, I guess."

Dave has a point, and he kind of hates it. As soon as he gets some sleep he knows he's going to shut the fuck down and just be an asshole all the time, like usual. But he also doesn't want to ask this goddamn question. It's something he's never actually considered, but now it's going to bother him. He's silent a long goddamn time again before he speaks. "Hate me." Oh. Shit. "You ain't gotta actually answer that." None of Dirk's fucking business. But he knows Dave's going to answer, to say something, and if Dave hates him, so fucking be it. He dug his own goddamn grave, right?

[itsknighttime]

Dave nods his head, a girl who's fucked up forever thanks to her world. "It's sad. I forget to lock shit on the network, you can read it yourself. Lots of people are better off here." Dave doesn't think him and Karkat so much, but they're here and maybe the game brought them here specifically to pick up a player it boned over before they head off. Another consolation prize for the winners. At least Dave.

Internally, Dave wishes he had his sound board and his tables, he could have had an unironic oof noise to press and it would have been glorious. It happened in his head so that's good enough for now but he didn't expect the question to be if he hated Dirk. More like something to keep up with training or fights or shit like that. A hard question to answer Dave sits up and almost instantly shakes his head. It's not the full answer and Dave opens his mouth and takes a breath like he's going to say something and then pauses, not for dramatic effect, to try to help give his mind another few minutes on how to word any of it.

He doesn't know how, but he also doesn't want Dirk getting antsy and thinking he's bullshitting even if he does or doesn't have radar. Dirk also has human emotions somewhere down there and fear of rejection is a Strider standard. "No homo." because it's important to get out there and Dave plants his hands on either side of himself to shift over toward Dirk and settle in with an inch or two of leaning room which he fills the space of with said lean. It's shoulder to shoulder, but it's something. "You beat the shit out of me. I had to earn food by getting past traps. Made me paranoid to sleep, and by the end you were relentless in ways that made me scared I'd be taking a piss and you'd be in the god damn toilet with twelve katanas." Morbid humour aside, he sighs. "Then you cut a meteor in half and I'm sure I'd have fucking died because I wasn't as fast or strong to do it. After you died, I survived when other people didn't. I fought in ways I wouldn't have expected I would have to and I dealt with things that I wouldn't have been prepared for mentally if I didn't know how to shut the fuck down while I fought."

All in all.
"I was pissed at you for being a shitty parent, but I didn't hate you." He just lives in perpetual thoughts of being a disappointment. "Don't hate you. I'm just pissed off about shit you did even if I think you were tryin' to help." He licks his bottom lip, biting at it before another breath again. He takes his glasses off and looks down at the frames in his hands, quickly wiping off a spot he insists must be dirty. "That is what you were tryin' to do, right?" It's not a question its a begged answer. "You weren't goin' out of your way just to... I mean you didn't--" he shrugs his shoulders, still staring down at his glasses. "You know." Maybe he does know maybe he doesn't but Dave isn't going to say it.

[broyonce]

Fear of rejection really is the Strider special, and that's why he didn't want to ask.

It's so fucking stupid. He knows he fucked Dave up. He did it without remorse. Hell, he still doesn't feel remorse, because Dave is alive and he isn't. He's not sorry, and he never will be, and he has so many justifications for every shitty thing he did, but he wouldn't blame Dave for hating him.

That head-shake is promising, but the way Dave's hesitating and freaking out, it screams impending wordvomit and he doesn't know if he can take it.

David Elizabeth Strider why the fuck did you just say no homo to your dadbrother.

Oh. That's why. A modicum of the tension in him releases, barely, and he just... Looks at him. Real quiet. Listening. Processing. He doesn't lean in harder, but he doesn't pull away, either. "Knew something was coming," he says, real quiet, "knew I wasn't gonna be there for it. Knew you had to fend for yourself when I was gone." It's not him making excuses, or gaining favor. Just explaining his reasons. He could have gone about it in so many other ways, but when you're a: already a jerk, and b: manipulated by an evil puppet, this shit happens.

He listens to the rest too. He's surprised by how relieved he feels that Dave doesn't hate him, but the rest nags at him. The way Dave fidgets, begs for an answer without actually asking the right questions.

Dirk sighs.

He lifts a hand, the one in between them, and rests his palm atop Dave's head. It's surprisingly gentle. "Ain't never did nothin' I didn't think you could handle," he starts, but that's not what he wants to say. Not really. "Raised myself," he amends, "never had anyone tell me yes or no. Just did what I had to. Survived, obviously, and then--there's this baby. This fucking baby. This perfect-ass baby that looks like me, just a little, just enough, and I knew he was coming. Course I did. And I pick up this baby and for the only goddamn time in my life, I'm scared as shit. I'm scared because shit's gonna happen to this baby. I don't know what, I don't know when, but shit's gonna happen. I can't stop that, I can't change it. Ain't gonna be there for all of it, neither. So fuck, I think, what am I gonna do? I don't know shit about parenting, and along with everything else--"

He shakes his head.

"Gotta raise that baby to know how to fight whatever's coming. To survive after I'm gone. Because fuck if I'm gonna let that baby just die. And maybe, just maybe, once the fighting's all done, he'll still somehow be okay."

This is a whole lot of words to just say:

"If I didn't give a shit about you, Dave, I wouldn't have done nothing. Woulda just said oh fucking well, future's the future, and pretended no shit was ever gonna happen."

[itsknighttime]

Dave knows that Dirk isn't going to address, specifically that Dave vomited feelings into the conversation even if their lack lustre, drawling method of speech isn't the most effective verbally, it's what's being said. Dirk isn't addressing the question, or asking him to repeat it because he knows that Dave couldn't do that. He's not as brave as Dirk in that reserve to actually ask even if Dirk gave him carte blanche to do so in return, verbally or in written invitation. There's just some things the older Strider still has one up on with Dave and that's probably Dirk's fault in the long run.

As with all their conversation in that evening, Dave is listening in return. At least with Striders they know when to shut up, not that they actually have to shut up they just know when to. Now is the shut up time while he contemplates what he thinks is the entire thing until Dirk's hand raises. Dave steels just a little and his eyes watch, it's reaction from years of being taught those things more than actually thinking he's getting hurt. His counterpart isn't presenting angrily and it helps a lot. The hand on his head is something he isn't expecting and not in the way that it's actually gentle.

It's the first time he's felt Dirk be gentle ever, or at least in the way that he isn't breaking a bone to prove a point that it could've been harder hit. There's return pressure toward the hand on his head, not to push it away with the small upturn, but to honestly feel it there and know that Dirk really isn't a figment of his imagination. His eyes slide back front, thumb playing with the arm hinge on one of the sides of his glasses to bend and unfold it back and forth. His eyes are focused on it and his attention isn't waning it's attempting to stay steeled too.

By the time Dirk concludes, Dave's jaw is set tight and his eyes close. A small, jerky breath gets pulled in, slowly, through his nose and he pulls his glasses back up to his face to slip them back on. "Wish you didn't have to die and do your best impersonation of Jesus Christ to hear that." It's all he can think to say and so that he knows Dave isn't shirking it off he sinks a little further in the lean to rely on Dirk's unmoving mountain of a person to lean against. This is literally all he's wanted his entire life is to have Dirk just. Be there. Not a fucking psycho trying to kill him for reasons or not. None of this excuses what he did, but it helps Dave to understand that it's not him who was the issue. Not Dirk just trying to find out what it takes before he breaks in half.

He clears his throat and takes a few more audibly shaky breaths before nodding his head, satisfied at the answer. Even more so a very visible swallow and a clear of his throat, though it does nothing to stifle the little break in his voice at the beginning of him speaking. "Alright. I think that's every fucking feeling I'd like not to feel again except one. Good talk, nice huddle." Now if only Dave would move so that he could reinforce it. "You know I heard once around here there's a pretty fuckin' coolass mall. We should maybe go make fun of the people in the food court for their fashion choices some time. Or I could take you to meet Engie, he builds like fuckin' everything and he's from Texas, too. Like maybe if you wanted to. Or I dunno, there's other shit to do around here maybe we could do if you're not busy figuring out how to game the system or something."

[broyonce]

A lot of things are Dirk's fault. He's cognizant of that. He's wholly aware. Maybe someday he really will feel guilty and not just muted...something, that he can't quite explain.

The fact that Dave listens, doesn't argue, means a lot. Once he's all done talking he ruffles Dave's hair, like he's a normal fucking brother and not vaguely sociopathic. He felt Dave press into the touch, though, and that means something. As does the way he leans into him. Dirk sighs, hand shifting, but all it does is drop to his shoulder so that an arm around him is keeping him there.

Stay, he doesn't say, but he thinks it.

He doesn't say shit about the show of emotion, either. No quips, no 'man up,' no nothing. Maybe later he'll be a dick and give him shit, but for now... Nah. That's too much. "Stop comparing me to Jesus," he complains, not really irritable at all, "my ego's already fucked and you keep calling me a Jesus impersonator."

He thinks about the suggestions though, real hard, and comes to a conclusion. "We can do all that shit," he says, "if you help me do market research while we do. Trends and shit. It's a good skill to have." But then he pauses, and adds: "that way, we can do all that and you can help me game the system." Like it's all so simple.

Honestly, it's really really weird that the porn empire guy is so against even holding hands with someone. There's definitely something up with that.

[itsknighttime]

Dirk said that Dave didn't need him anymore, said that his entire purpose was Dave's training and entry into the game and that's all there is. He's wrong and Dave hates himself for it and wishes he could agree. Without Cal's influence Dirk is just a normal bag of dicks and not a vicious, psychotic one. This is something Dave can handle Dirk being and especially if it's actually interspersed with some of the vaguely memorable Dirk things from his early, early childhood, like giving a damn in an outward way.

Like a hand on his shoulder that has Dave's fingers curling into fists. He's not upset. He's trying hard to give himself something else to concentrate on other than the actual affection he's been chasing his whole life from this very specific person. Still leaned up against him, Dave lays his head back against the couch and totally not just because then he's leaning back against Dirk's arm. It's not his fault it's in the way and he needs to be comfortable. "Yeah I can do that. You want me to go with zombie instead?" he says flatly, obviously joking but only in the nuance a Strider would understand.

Doing 'all that shit' sounds great to Dave even if it looks like his training is now going to include learning the business side of things. He may as well learn from the master if he's going to learn at all. Dave had every intention of joining the adventuring guild, but he bets he still can and have free time to actually maybe have a normal life. Like a life that actually includes his god damn Bro in it now. This place sucked until he found out Karkat exists here and then it sucked less, now that he's got Bro here and he isn't... how he was, this place is a lot better. He doesn't need that new earth, this one's fine even if he misses his friends.

"Trends and shit. Hell yeah I can. I watch the system like a hawk. There's a fuckin' tonne of perverts here." It's not like they're not generating Chroma just doing this simple thing, but it's not going to build Dirk's empire. "Some not perverts too but a lot of them anyway."

[broyonce]

Dirk is still working through the whole "without Cal's influence" thing. Maybe he'll get better slowly as time goes on. Maybe he'll relapse as a coping mechanism when facing his own actions is too heavy to process. There are worse things to be than a regular bag of dicks, but he's been the worse things, too.

He's vaguely aware that even this small amount of affection counts as moonlacing to some degree, and he's kind of weirded out about the fact that they seem to want it to feel real nice on top of the normal emotional reward involved. Fucking weird. He kind of doesn't like that it's played as incentive. Should want to of his own goddamn accord.

He doesn't move.

"Yeah," he says, deadpan. "Zombies ain't cool anymore, so it's perfect." There's irony in a "cool" guy like Dirk being called something uncool. The implication here that Jesus is somehow cool is fucking staggering. Anyway an adventuring guild sounds like it would suit Dave. Dirk would approve. Not that Dave actually needs his approval, but Dirk knows he craves it.

"'Course there's a ton of perverts," he confirms, completely unsurprised. But then he stills, in a way he gets that means he's got an idea. He shifts, suddenly stoked about something, but the movement doesn't dislodge Dave. "Not perverts. Shit. Fuck. That's perfect. How fucking ironic would it be to run a business that's completely above-the-board platonic, non-romantic, non-sexual, in fuck town? Spend your fuckbucks on the least titilating experience ever."

[itsknighttime]

Luckily for Dirk, it isn't the reason Dave is doing this, he'd have done it for free. It benefits them both, but this dream he doesn't want to wake up from is specifically for the chance to maybe do shit right this time. Maybe not be a total fuck up because he's not a tiny child anymore. Except for hearing that Zombies aren't cool. "Whoa, whoa, just a fuckin' second. You can't walk back into a guy's life and tell him Zombies aren't cool. When they fuck'd they become uncool? They eat brains and tear through flesh and get exploded and don't give a fuck. If I was on fire I'd pitch a fit, not go lurching toward brunch. Bro. That is prime coolass things."

He does want the approval but the casual back and forth make for a good feeling too. Something normal even if he's bantered with his friends in the game. This feels "every day" and it feels nice.

Nice until the quiet. That sort of quiet from a Strider can only mean one thing and that one thing usually means something so god damn apocalyptically monumental that shit is about to get real. Dave lifts his head, turning it as he realizes, too, the massive irony of it. "Holy. Fuck." That is a massive yes. "This is why I said you'd figure it out." Dave has no interest in beating the system here, but he knows how competitive Dirk can get. A challenge of any kind is met with effort three thousand fold. This also sounds like a god damn quadrant business and he's still leery of introducing Karkat, but once he gets to the place where he's sure Dirk isn't a brutal maniac anymore, he probably will ask him.

Little does he know.

"Please tell me employees are going to wear full Grandma clothes. Sweaters and cardigans and wholesome jumpers." Except him. He's not getting caught dead in that.

[broyonce]

"Don't got a fuckin' thought in their heads, lil bro. Big blank nothing. Sure, they eat people, sure, pain doesn't bother them. But their mindless, shuffling antics are only so tolerable." There's a pause, like he has some other well thought out reason, but he just adds: "plus, they're so mainstream. Everyone and their mom loves zombies."

What a hipster thing to say.

Dirk is completely invested in gaming the system both because he's used to being rich and because he doesn't want to get even physically intimate with anyone. It's not like he's asexual, obviously, check out his porn, it's just he's got a problem with his own damn sexual tastes. He ain't gonna explore that for real in front of his bro, especially. That internalized homophobia runs deep, even deeper than when he was young and actually experimenting. He wouldn't disown Dave if he ended up being queer, but he'd blame himself like there was something wrong with it, like it was 'his fault.'

So yeah, Dave being enthused about his not-intimate moneymaking is a good sign. "Fuck a maid cafe," he says, "it's time for a granny cafe. Not an inch of skin showing. Wholesome as shit." Dave you too are going to wear a wholesome sweater, just you wait.

This is the best idea he's had in a while, really.

[itsknighttime]

"So minus the mainstream part," Dave starts, laying his head back again to both occupy the wallstreet of arms and look up at the ceiling otherwise, "They're like the old land lady. You could've just been straight and told me we were living in a Zombie society."

Hipster and perfect.

After the game and the world blowing up, Dave isn't so worried about getting all the cheddar and more worried about Karkat's ability to sleep nightmare free. That doesn't stop Dirk's idea from being the best idea he ever fucking heard and Dave wants to see this irony empire flourish if only because it's fucking hilarious. What isn't hilarious is how repressed both of them are in their sexuality and likely it's not easily going to change. "Yes. Fuckin' yes. Come in and let them braid your hair for you, chill out in front of a fire and learn to knit and relax so you're not stressed as fuck from a hectic day of having to bone so many randos to relax at the spa cafe thing. Man you hook that shit up with wifi and maybe some computers to fuck around with game wise? You are set as fuck."

Dirk has been dead so there's that. Let him have an idea based on that alone, an excellent one that Dave is already excited about. He knows the peace isn't always going to be like this, but it isn't so bad for the moment.