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▶ That’s Not a Space Station, It’s a Moon

You awaken amidst the darkness with only a faint light to greet you as you awaken. Your body is hemmed in by shards of crystals, gently sparkling and possibly pricking your skin. The surrounding landscape is dyed in the pinks and purples of the dusk filled with crystals protruding from the ground, some as large as a skyscraper. Even the few shy moon creatures you find in the wild have strange crystal growths on their hides. This is far from home— perhaps a dream? You pinch your skin and slap your cheeks, yet nothing seems to do the trick. Searching for answers yields nothing but an endless expanse of purple dust as far as the eye can see. You have four options: one, panic; two, soil yourself; three, admire it all then soil yourself; or four, go into survival mode. Eventually, you’ll realize that you’re not alone.

After a day or two of living off the crystal wilderness, a group of people find you worse for wear. They are the gallant Moon Knights from the planet of Prismatica. After the strange phenomenon during the third month when scientists observed the sudden appearance of rainbow crystals in the sky, the government has been feverishly combing through the moon for any Moonblessed to be rescued. You’ll eventually be brought into Iris’s moon government center.

You all may have your usual inquiries — Where are we? Who are you? What's going on? Am I paying for all those drugs I took back in the '70s? — and the Prismals are almost too eager to answer. They tell you about their world and about the first appearance of the Moonblessed as the medical staff give you an examination to make sure you’re not carrying any viruses or biological hazards. If you react violently, you may be restrained and nerfed with a specialized neurotransmitting gun that releases a numbing agent through the top of your spine. Once the examinations are over, you’re informed that you will be provided accommodations on their planet during your stay.

While waiting for transport to be prepared, they recommend that you visit the government archives. The collection features a variety of fiction and non-fiction books, including an eclectic romance and erotica section with titles such as: The Moon Knight's Ravishing, Armed and Amorous: A Forbidden Tale between a Dragon and a Moon Knight, and Silk and Satin, Leather and Moonlace. Also notable are informative textbooks such as Delightful Dragons and Where To Do Them and From Argos to Zhavidar: A History of Alchemy. As you read these books, the photos and illustrations come to life on each page, moving within their borders. It seems this is the norm on Prismatica.

A ⬤ Several librarian droids like to move in and around the archives, zapping anyone who dares utter a single word above a whisper. Silence is absolutely crucial for study and concentration, thus these droids have zero tolerance for sound. If you are caught making noise, be prepared to be chased and have your eyebrows singed off by a disgruntled droid.

B ⬤ Within the library, you will find an occult section which contains various low-budget spellbooks. This section houses a variety of cantrips and basic charms that don't seem to work for the Moonblessed except the occasional, odd fluke spell which will shrink you to the size of a thumb or cause odd sound effects such as fog horns or pterodactyl screeches to come out of your mouth. Please use with caution! The librarians aren't responsible for any mishaps that occur as a result of reading spells out loud, but if you ask nicely they might direct you to a book that has a way to immediately reverse it if you don’t want to wait it out. All effects are temporary.

Eventually you’re called to the docks and led onto a large transport vessel. Destination: Prismatica.

▶ She wants to lead the glamorous life

Welcome to Prismatica’s hub, Lunatia, the city of your dreams! A bustling metropolis lush with bright lights, vibrant colors, luxuriant plant life, and all the conveniences of technology absent from your own world… It seems like paradise to all the uninitiated.

Before you can enjoy the surrounding shopping centers, they will be dealing with all the standard security checks from some handsy droids that will feel you up, examine your weapons, possibly even cavity search. Nothing like the loving touch of a cool metallic hand.

A ⬤ There’s a gift shop right outside Crystarium Moonports with a huge, eye-catching poster promoting their 80% clearance sale. A must-have souvenir from Lunatia is a memory stone — special blue stones mined from Cordis that can project a happy memory from your days in the city if you rub them the right way. If you need new clothes, this is the perfect chance to grab a shirt with media sweetheart Maria's lovely bedazzled face on it. You might even hear her hit song playing in the store...

While browsing, you overhear a crisp zap! followed by a group of children jumping for joy. They got just the toy they wanted from the high-tech gacha machines lined up in front of the store. Since you have some chroma to spare, why don’t you give them a go? The Mallow Bunnies is all the rage among all Lunatians. Adults are particularly fond of their sleepy series. On the other end of the spectrum, there are also these... uh... what are these? If you can’t ~~whale~~ get the one you want, don’t worry! You can always trade with your fellow Moonblessed. It might pay off to get some extras, too. You never know when you’ll need to sweeten your deals...

B ⬤ The ads are all over the billboards with their neon colors, energetic beats and seductive billion-polygon assets: you too can be a goddess with a blade in League Match Action Online, Prismatica’s number one VR MOBA game! The next LmaO world championship is later in the year, and the grand prize is rumored to be 15 million demichroma. If you want to get a team together, now’s the perfect time to start. In the meantime, try your luck at the smaller tournaments in the lower Levels. You might meet your future teammates and rivals there.

Or you know, just have fun with it. Relax, it’s just a game!

▶ That Smell is Exactly What You Think It Is

On Level 1, you may encounter construction workers rebuilding damaged properties. When asked they’ll answer, "Oh, it was just a bit of a mishap a while ago. It's all been contained now. Nothing to worry about." A couple of streets are cracked and covered in debris, as if a huge monster had crawled under the pavement. Surrounding walls have gaping holes, and dried up viscous white fluid stains some buildings.

A ⬤ While most of the streets are back to normal, there are several areas that local Swiffy bots have yet to thoroughly clean such as the sewers and the backstreets. If you’re interested in helping, necessary tools and materials will be provided. You may team up with your fellow cohorts to scrub, scrape and sweep the vines’ remains. It is very likely that you will find some decaying roots with a rotting, corpse-like smell that makes your stomach turn. Though these plants have already dried and wilted, there are still a few stubborn vines and dried sap that won’t come off no matter how many times you try. Good thing they let you borrow nifty liquefying rayguns! These guns can turn natural waste into clear, thin and biodegradable slime that rolls off surfaces and into the sewers if not sucked into the vacuums of Lunatia’s trusty Swiffy bots. Careful: the raygun also works on fabrics!

H ⬤ Getting around is another adventure. When you head to the subways, you will be met with the misfortune of train carts stopping abruptly at intervals, making you careen into other passengers. Maybe you’ll accidentally land on someone’s seat or get someone pinned against the wall. The trains aren’t fully functional at the moment due to recent events, so doors might not open and stops might be missed as you circle through the endless track.

Might as well strike up some conversation. The news is seen overhead, detailing the attack of the Vinea vehementi from a few days ago. The reporter warns of increased robbery incidents since the attack. Due to the grief, trauma, and debts accumulated from the damages, some Prismals have resorted to pickpocketing in an attempt to recover their losses. Of much less importance is the uptick in stolen underwear cases in the city after the planet-wide release of the B movie Stalking Panty, in which the main character Knickers gains newfound confidence after discovering his talents as an Iris Moonheld and an undercover panty thief.

Moon Knights and kind neighbors warn you of the dangers, but will that stop you from going out at night? You can start hiding your Midlife Sanguis Ninja Turtle boxers, or you can take justice into your own hands.

▶ Questions

If you have any questions regarding this test drive meme, please ask them in this thread.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Ah, of course...

[ He needed to keep in mind 'money' and the concept of actually keeping a bank account. Not that he didn't already have one at home, but - well, the royal treasury wasn't exactly the same.

He rolls a bit closer, peering between the dresses, putting a bent knuckle against his lips. ]

The most practical answer is 'which is cheapest', but... are you getting anything else? Something to dress them up?

I was gonna try to make a whole outfit, but it doesn't look like I'll be able to do more than a dress and a pair of shoes... It's okay, though. I can always come back later.

[She loves that he's taking her seriously, honestly.]

And this is your first purchase here? This one, [ he points to the more sensible dress, even if it seems to have a brighter print. ] in that case. It seems the most versatile of the two since it's primarily white.

[She frowns a moment, though it's mostly because she's deep in thought. After a moment, she finally nods.]

You're right. I'm better off with this one. If I were at home I could've gotten both, though...

Aaah, are you a princess? Yes, that makes sense - it must be hard not to have access to royal coffers.

[Oh my god, she just clutches the dress to her chest now.]

I wish! My dad was pretty rich, though... [She neglects to mention that he'd never allow her to buy this. It's a miracle he even let her be an idol to begin with.] I didn't have to worry about money before.

A merchant's daughter, then. Well, it's a parent's duty to make sure their child doesn't have to worry, or so I keep being told of my own daughter. I suppose you'll grow up a bit faster on your own.

Does it scare you?

I wouldn't even say he's a merchant. He drives racecars.

[And then she leans in.]

The idea of growing up doesn't. It's just that we ended up in some weird place to do it.

Racecars?

I'm afraid I don't follow.

You know... like cars? He races those for a living.

[Though she does suppose that he speaks kind of weird so maybe it's a different term or something??]

What is a 'car'? A new sort of horse?

[... Uhhh.]

Not... really. You've seen how we gotta get around here, right? The smaller vehicles and ships are kinda like that.

[ !!! ]

Oh - I see... my apologies, all of this technology is new to me. I wouldn't be able to tell a "car" apart from a... what are those dispensing machines that people have gone crazy for?

Ah... gacha machines. Don't get too into it, it's basically gambling. You'll use all your money up before you get what you want most of the time.

Of course, of course. I have more important things to buy.

Ah - forgive me, I forgot to introduce myself. I'm King Belias. Though I suppose just Belias, here.

[A king!? He's gotta be shitting her, she may have been popular but she never expected to meet a king.]

You're a king!? I'm—My name is Makoto Kikuchi, your majesty!

[ ?!

His chair even pauses when he looks to her, a little surprised by how she's acting, before he raises a hand and gently waves it. ]

Didn't I say 'I suppose it's just Belias, here'? There's no need to call me 'Your Majesty' here.

[Listen. Even if he says that, she still wants to be polite because she's never met royalty before!!]

Ehehe... are you sure? I really don't want to be rude, though.

It's not rude at all, little one. 'Makoto', yes?

Mhm! It's nice to meet you—Belias.

There we have it, then.

[ A more sobering topic - ]

You arrived alone, I assume?

Not entirely... a friend of mine came with me. I'm lucky we're together.

... Were you alone?

[ Belias hums with an earnest smile. ]

Good - better that you aren't alone. I was on my own, yes, but that's just how kings are.

[She actually just stares at him for a moment, trying to read his actual reaction to saying that, but gives up when she realizes that it's not going to get her anywhere.]

That's... pretty sad though, isn't it? If that's just how things are?

[ Unfortunately for her, he's adept at his public speaking face, so his emotions stay hidden. ]

Hm, is it? Why would it be sad? There's nothing inherently wrong with solitude.

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