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[prismods]

SHOOTING SHARK

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"Blue Oyster Cult - Shooting Shark" (Watch on YouTube)

You awaken amidst the darkness with only a faint light to greet you. Your body is hemmed in by shards of crystals, gently sparkling and possibly pricking your skin. The surrounding landscape is dyed in the pinks and purples of the dusk filled with crystals protruding from the ground, some as large as a skyscraper. Even the few shy moon creatures you find in the wild have strange crystal growths on their hides. This is far from home— perhaps a dream? You pinch your skin and slap your cheeks, yet nothing seems to do the trick. Searching for answers yields nothing but an endless expanse of purple dust as far as the eye can see. You have four options: one, panic; two, soil yourself; three, admire it all then soil yourself; or four, go into survival mode. Eventually, you’ll realize that you’re not alone.

▶ Keep all Hands and Feet inside the Burning Vehicle at all Times
Iris Moon, Government Center (Arrival) and Outer Space | top

After a day or two of living off the crystal wilderness, a group of people find you worse for wear. They are the gallant Moon Knights from the planet of Prismatica. After the strange phenomenon during the past months when scientists observed the sudden appearance of rainbow crystals in the sky, the government has been feverishly combing through the moon for more Moonblessed to be rescued. You’ll eventually be brought into Iris’s moon government center.

You all may have your usual inquiries — Where are we? Who are you? What's going on? Why did I mix tequila with xanax last night? — and the Prismals are almost too eager to answer. They tell you about their world and about the first appearance of the Moonblessed as the medical staff give you an examination to make sure you’re not carrying any viruses or biological hazards. If you react violently, you may be restrained and nerfed with a specialized neurotransmitting gun that releases a numbing agent through the top of your spine. Once the examinations are over, you’re informed that you will be provided accommodations on their planet during your stay.

While waiting for transport to be prepared, you may freely roam around the government center. Eventually you’re called back from exploring, escorted to the docks, and led onto a large transport vessel that makes frequent trips back and forth between the moons and the planet. Faces onboard vary from both old and new Moonblessed as well as Prismal locals. The next destination: Prismatica.

A. After settling into the ship and selecting the current in-flight movie, Back Door Slugs 9, you and those around you may eventually feel a bit of turbulence during the movie’s highly anticipated climax. Did anyone notice it, or is everyone too focused on the hot characters?

At first, it’s a small jitter that’s easy to miss or brush off. But as the transport vessel travels on, the shaking progressively escalates to erratic tremors strong enough to cause severe nausea. A minute later, a voice over the speaker announces the ship will have to make an emergency landing, citing technical difficulties.

Sparks can be seen overhead as more ship parts malfunction. This is a good time to hold your neighbor’s hand, say your last goodbyes, and apologize for that horrible thing you did in the sixth grade. Grip your seat with the might of every god you can think of.

B. Another minute later, a follow-up announcement states that external entities have breached the transport vessel. Everyone is warned to be careful and watch out for each other. Small fires will have to be put out before they worsen with either magic or emergency equipment onboard such as extinguishers. In-flight robotic attendants will be scuttling around to perform immediate repairs.

Eventually, an entire power panel bursts, and prismatic jellyfish unnaturally spill out. The jellyfish will try to latch and suction onto any technological devices close by such as the television screens on the seats or communicators and will show preference to Iris Moonblessed over the rest. Be ready to help and pull numerous jellyfish off both the faces of Moonblessed and Prismals!

▶ Jaws IV: Jaws Harder
Planet Prismatica, Outer Lunatia | top

The emergency landing successfully completes and the transport vessel will safely land on top of a gorgeous lake filled with tiny glaciers floating by. When reached out and touched, you’ll find out that the “glaciers” are surprisingly cool crystals and not ice.

The ship will be left hovering idly on the water surface while passengers are ferried to solid ground using portable emergency boats. However, civilization is still a distance away.

A. You’ve probably heard of flying sharks from a veteran Moonblessed. But how about sea lions? These aquatic lions are born with scaly skin and gills outside of their crystallized manes. Unfortunately, they haven’t tasted fresh meat in quite some time. If there are any injured onboard or near your boat, the chances of the sea lions detecting people will be higher as they are drawn to the scent of blood. Growling hungrily, they will be quick to latch onto the boats, biting the edges, and trying to knock everyone overboard for dinner.

After surviving through so far, the Prismals guide everyone to a nearby encampment run by humanoid rabbits. They are tall, built, and have a habit of mentioning their virility an awkward amount of times. They are also generous and will share their game meat and fresh crops while allowing everyone to rest for the night at the only inn in their village.

B. There is no running water all the way out here, so if anyone wants a bath, they’ll have to do it traditionally. The village protects a natural spring, which is a good place to bathe away the sea water. Around the spring, the rabbit folk’s friends — little scintilla chinchillas — will shock away any predators that dare to approach their sanctuary! Be at ease and feel free to offer your friends shampoo massages.

The next day, the rabbits can be seen hacking away at some of the wilder-looking plants for an easier pathway. If you wake up early enough, you can ask some of them for a tour of the beautiful greenery. They mention that it’s thanks to the Moonblessed that their crops have been doing so well lately — the result of all the chroma influx. The rest of the journey to the city will be smooth sailing.





▶ It’s Free Real-Estate
Level 2, City of Lunatia | top

Welcome to Prismatica’s hub, Lunatia, the city of your dreams! A bustling metropolis lush with bright lights, vibrant colors, luxuriant plant life, and all the conveniences of technology absent from your own world… It seems like paradise to all the uninitiated. After a quick tour of the city, new arrivals can find themselves getting cozy in their new homes.

A. Find new roommates and say hello to your neighbors! City officials will give you directions to the designated districts across Level 2 and instruct you to pick out a unit. Each apartment complex has a different aesthetic, some may look cozy, some stylish, and some bizarre. The free accommodations have a basic living space that can only fit two or three people at most in one unit.

Starter Chromaspace furnishings are provided which can be controlled with the touch of a built-in panel. Examples are color-changing curtains, transforming sofa beds, cabinets turning into tables, etc. Customizing your apartment or moving out will have to wait until you earn more chroma. Until then, why don’t you check out your new neighborhood or explore the city levels? Maybe your new roommates or neighbors can give you a “hand” with allowance for dinner.

B. A new high-end boutique, Prissy Polyp, has opened in Level 2. As compensation for what happened, both Moonblessed and Prismals that were affected in yesterday’s flight will receive 50% off their total purchase. Those unaffected will receive 30% discount coupons as a promotional gift. All are encouraged to visit with their friends or special someone, try on some things together, enjoy each other in the fitting rooms, and deal with the loud, ear-blistering background pop music.

Their clothing collections are characterized by bright iridescent designs, some features such as design patterns may glow ethereally in the dark. One of their signature dresses features a one piece (also available on their trench coats) that can amplify the appearance of one’s decolletage, gluteal muscles, and/or bulge with the press of a neon button. Another item among their collection is the maiden sweater: a sleek, backless sweater that shocks those who attempt unwanted touches. Others include skin-tight leggings (also available on their shorts or pants) which produce pleasant and relaxing vibrations on all lower extremities and fashionable polyp-shaped hats for all kinds of people. It’s a huge shop, you never know what else to find in there.

▶ Questions
If you have any questions regarding this test drive meme, please ask them in the Questions thread below.

▶ IMPORTANT! By request, we've uploaded image samples for the Prissy Polyp clothing collections! Note these are merely samples for a visual guide and we will leave more selections to players.

▶ As a reminder, test drive memes are for new characters only. However, current players are more than welcome to use these prompts for their own posts in the IC communities, personal inboxes, catch-all posts, etc.!
▶ As our test drive memes are game canon, feel free to keep any threads that happen here as canon for your character should they be accepted.

Comments

[broyonce]

He doesn't have any shurikens on him, thanks to how he showed up, so there's no risk of that until he can find some. He's got a sword, and some puppets, and that's about it. Lil Cal is long gone, obviously, and there's a weird ache in him from the lack, has been all this time, that's more than just attachment to an object, and he's, for the first time, feeling kind of uneasy about that.

Honestly, he would deserve any vitriol Dave threw his way, really, even if Bro doesn't see it that way. Everything he did, he did for a reason. Sometimes dumb reasons, sometimes horrible ones, but--reasons.

It's not an excuse. He doesn't want or need to explain himself. Dave had to learn young how to survive, and Dirk knew that he wouldn't always be there for him, so he forced things. Pushed things.

He watches Dave, and he wonders, just a little, about if things could have been different. Without the knowledge that Dave needed to protect himself, would he have raised him differently? He doesn't know, and that feels oddly haunting.

"You'd better not be dead," he says, which is oddly vehement in contrast to his placid tone when he speaks. He's feeling weird, and he hates it: he hates feeling at all, honestly, and this is kind of rough.

He should initiate strife, or fucking abscond, just check in on him once in a while, but he stands still, rooted to the spot.

"You're right," he says, after a long fucking pause. "It was fucking stupid. Cardinal fucking sin. Underestimating your opponent. That's me." The guy committing the sin, not the opponent. Both?

Both.

"You're better than that."

It's not a suggestion, it's a statement. Either he really trusts in the skills he's instilled in Dave, or he's admitting that Dave's outgrown him. From the way he looks away, being the first to break shades-contact for the first time probably ever, probably the latter.

[itsknighttime]

Pushed things is a gentle way of putting it. Dave has had to earn almost everything he's ever gotten and this exchange is one of those things that has him wondering too many things all at once. He can't even say what he wants to say because half of it he's not sure how much is just painful memory and how much of it is actually how he feels.

In fact, so visceral is the reaction to want to tell him he can't tell Dave what to do anymore that he almost shoots back with an 'I can be dead if I want to' but catches himself and forces his own jaw shut before turning and letting the older man talk. Rag in hand, he kneels down to start getting the juice up off the floor at its edges, his whole domestic act stopping in its tracks hearing that he's right. Even more that his shoulders sink when it comes to his attention that he's better than underestimating his opponent.

Speaking of shoulders, there's a distinct feeling of disappointment in himself and he's wondering if this is the same sort of manipulation he went through as a younger teen. "Whatever." is all he could manage while standing up to wring out the cloth and repeating his descent back down to the spot again. He could do it at sonic speeds, but what for? "I'm better than a lot of shit now."

Some part of him wishes he could just be happy that he's alive. Maybe he should just say that. "The only good part about this shit, Bro, is that you're not dead. I'm not the same scared kid you fucked off into the big permanent convenience shop in the sky." Yes he is, but he's trying hard not to show it. If Dirk's voice was anything close to authority, Dave wouldn't be able to do anything but follow the order. He's being given lenience and he can feel it, and just like his Big Bro, Dave is pushing the boundaries. Pushing things, so to speak.

Mess mopped up and Dave throws the wet towel into the sink, trying to think of what to say while he washes his hands. "If all you wanted to know is if I was here," he begins, turning off the water and drying his hands on his shorts. "Then why'd you come here? Why are you here, here? You got nowhere else to go?"

[broyonce]

That would have been, hands down, one of the stupidest fucking things Dave ever said, so congrats on locking that down before you said it, buddy.

And--yeah, on some level it's manipulation, what Dirk's doing. Testing. But perhaps surprisingly, it's not as selfish as one would imagine. He needs to know things, wants to know, and he's genuinely relieved that Dave isn't some dead fuckup like him.

This is fine.

"Yeah? Sure you are. You've always been good at shit, dumbass. You think a Strider's bad at things?" He can tell that Dave is older than he remembers, but not how much, so he's curious about that but not about to ask. So he's going to mask it with stupid bullshit, as usual.

A pause. He considers, for a moment, lying, then decides against it.

"Heard people talking about meeting people from their homes that were... Different. Not right. Off, you know. Wanted to know if you were the right one. Same one, anyway."

You the right one, Dave?

[itsknighttime]

Sometimes even Dave knows how stupid the things that come out of his mouth are.

On the topic of Dirk saying things and Dave taking the direct order, being asked that question in that succession Dave answers a small "No..." He knows his place in that question and his place, even if he thought a yes, which he doesn't, is to answer no. Strider-types aren't "bad" at things, pure bred ones like him and Dirk? Even less bad at things, even if Rose is pretty damn awesome which he won't admit out loud. Well, unless those things are emotions and actually talking shit through, then they're absolute trash at it.

His eyes track down to his feet, bare on his floor and leaning against the sink as Bro throws him another question without an actual question. "I don't know." he answers in kind, just like he had gotten earlier from his guardian. It's an honest answer. "I could find out if I could do more than jump just on this timeli--"

It occurs to him that Dirk has no idea about the shit he's been through and how not many of his home made Saw-esque death traps were helpful aside agility and strength and probably everything Dave is disregarding. "I'm not off, I'm not different, you died and I grew up. You stayed dead and I kept living and now you're back after being dead while I kept living. Sound right enough to you or do you wanna go have a look around for a better Dave?"

[broyonce]

Look, we're not talking emotions or having real conversations. Striders are good at like everything else, so it's fine. Super fine. Not weird or bad at all.

ANYWAY.

He listens, because he's good at being quiet, and he processes. He just fucking stands there, while Dave... what? Assumes he's in it for The Perfect Dave, casting one or another aside looking for the strongest?

Okay, that does sound like him. Man, he's a cunt.

But that's not his point. "Who knows," he says, finally, "maybe I'm the one that's off." Which, okay, he has a point. But then: "You think this is about better or worse, and I don't blame you. That's not what I meant. Anyway, even if we're not from the same timeline, you're still Dave."

Still his bro. It's fine.

A beat, and he finally asks:

"How old are you now, kid?"

How long has he been dead?

[itsknighttime]

If that would have been a question, Dave would have agreed, he's a cunt enough to do it. That's what made him strong enough to be a heinous jackass and treat his kid like shit. That and maybe Cal, it's not like it didn't cross Dave's mind on nights where he and Karkat would get onto the topic of his guardian. "Yeah, maybe." he says, more under his breath than to contribute to the conversation. He's trying to sound brave but not doing a good job of it. Standing up to Dirk even in the slightest is taking all his courage, every ounce of it. Except, even if he seems to know there are multiple timelines, which Dave isn't even going to question, he's saying things that are nice and it's unnerving.

It's not in a way where he's trying to get Dave off guard, his sixth sense isn't tingling and that isn't ever wrong. He may not have been strong or fast enough, but it's never wrong. Not wrong and he's 'still Dave'. These are shadows of a person he barely remembers from a time where he wasn't an abusive prick and it's got him knitting his eyebrows together in curious expression. He shoves his glasses up into his hair and rubs his face with a small sigh.

He hears the question and he decides to give in. For now, what's the good in just being an angry, vile piece of filth? Then he's acting no better than what he expects from his conversational partner. "Almost seventeen." he answers smoothly, readjusting his glasses and walking back over to the fridge. It's not like that's the only singular container of apple juice that he stocks in there. He's got all sorts by the time he opens the fridge to look and grabs two of the smaller boxes before shutting the door and offering one to Dirk.

"You've been dead close to three or something years." and to try to add to a little of their existing in the same space not being so tense, he offers this: "For a three year old corpse you at least didn't let yourself go. Fast and annoying as ever."

[broyonce]

Speaking of Cal. Dirk, as this conversation continues, finds himself thinking about Cal. Which, okay, Cal is fucking rad, but that's weird. He's still just--a fucking puppet. And yeah, Dirk has a wild obsession with puppets, but something about Cal is... different.

He is, at least, cognizant that it's weird. He doesn't know what to do about that. He's never cared about being weird, that's his fucking life-blood, but... Shit. He misses Cal like someone misses a fucking lover, has for a long time, and he knows that's fucked up. He knows it.

He snaps out of it when Dave speaks.

Seventeen. Dirk looks at Dave, Dave and his red eyes and his blond hair, and says, eloquently: "shit."

Nice.

He sighs, scrubbing his chin with a hand, then pinches the bridge of his nose. Then Dave has a fucking juice box and offers him one and it's so goddamn childish but it's so Dave that he just. Stares at him some more, like he's seeing him for the first time.

Then he shuts it down, a little. A lot. Clamps that bear trap down over his emotions, and just nods his thanks.

An upnod. Like a tool.

But Dave's last comment actually cracks him a bit. He ducks his head forward, and his lips fucking twitch up at the corners. Just a little.

"I've only been dead a week, personally, so I got a whole three years to turn into a slob."

He's not going to turn into a slob.

[itsknighttime]

"Yeah. Shit." he echoes, not upset, just that he agrees he can't believe he's almost seventeen himself. The thought crossed his mind the other day seeing someone ask how old someone is that his birthday is closer here than it is back home. It fucked him up a bit too. Maybe not in the way that he caught Dirk looking, but he's not going to put the blame on him. It's not like Dave is innocent of taking honest, long looks, trying to see if he's real every so often.

At first he's not sure if Bro is going to take the juice and wobbles it just a little to indicate which one if he wants it. The stare isn't as unnerving as some of the things he's heard tonight and aside his impression of Jesus Christ out of nowhere. There's an exchange of a nod to the quickly jerked thanks in his direction.

Dave is poking the straw out of the little plastic holder and into the juice box when he could have sworn he sees a smile. He makes nothing of it. All of this is a lot to take in and he's proud of himself for not just going out a window. He's gone out windows to avoid people before. "You think it'll take you three years now that you're in retirement?" he asks, sipping the juice before moving toward the taller man. Taller not by a ton anymore, but still tall.

The younger man stops when he's close enough to Dirk that if he turned his shoulder he'd probably brush it and jerks his head finally after a moment of contemplation before heading to sit his ass down and drink his juice on a modest couch. "Sit down, I'm the tallest of everyone and you make me feel short as fuck."

[broyonce]

It all is a lot to take in. Dirk is still kind of inwardly freaking about the dead thing. He'll process it, eventually, but it's gonna take a while. Until then he's gonna pretend he's unbothered by it.

The way his gaze follows Dave isn't unusual. It's calm, and measured, and...taking stock of him. He's different than he once was, and Dirk doesn't know how he feels about it.

You gonna jump out your own goddamn window to escape, Dave?

He raises an eyebrow slightly, at the concept of retirement. "You think I'm going to retire just because I'm dead?" That sounds so fucking stupid, but, like, seriously. It's like you don't know him at all. No, he's going to be horrible and obnoxious. "Gotta make sure people are willing to hold my hand, you know." He says it like it's a huge fucking joke, because he's the goddamn puppet porn guy, he's not going to just be holding hands, but like, whatever. It's still a joke.

He prods open the juice deftly and then, with some amount of surprise, sits on the couch next to Dave. He honestly didn't expect that. "Ain't much taller than you anymore," he says, and there's no fire in it, just observation. Shit, he missed a lot.

He's so fucking bad at this.

[itsknighttime]

If it means that he's not in a social situation he doesn't want to be in? He'd flash step out the damn window even if he couldn't fly. His own window or not. For now, he's dead set on it being better that Bro is here with him, not because he wants him to be b-baka but because he'll be off annoying someone and the name Strider is going to be associated back to Dave, too. For good reason. It's the same last name and it's his Dad for all intents and purposes.

From the couch perch where he's given himself over to the powers of the corner of a couch, putting one arm across the back and the other leaning casually on the arm, he shrugs his shoulder. "I hoped you would. But I'm not stupid." He rolls his eyes, sipping his juice again at the comment about holding his hand. "Yeah. Right. I'm surprised you didn't brb me with your pants down out the front door. You can't hide from me old man."

It feels extremely wrong and extremely right and extremely different to just be sitting here, talking. There's no traps, there's no ambushes, there's no strife. It's just talking. Drinking juice and talking. Maybe Dirk is the one off. Or maybe dying honestly did him some good, which is a gut wrenching admission to think of. Should it be this easy? Maybe. Probably. Even if it's never been this easy, or at least not since he was a tiny baby from the furthest reaches of his memory. Even then he's convinced he learned to flash step before he learned to crawl.

Dave shoves over a little more to make sure Dirk has an abundance of room. "Pretty soon you'll be looking up to me instead." double entendre, he used to look up to Bro a lot. He's had time to realize a lot about him, too, "There's someone from home here, too. But so far it's the three of us. You me and him. You don't know him and I'm going to keep it that way for a while."

No, he doesn't trust Dirk. Not only that but he's a lot more alluring than Dave and there's just some things that remain sacred. Things like moving on from why, exactly, he isn't going to make that introduction between the two. "I wasn't bullshitting in asking if you had a place to go yet."

[broyonce]

Okay, fair. He definitely inherited that from Dirk, because he'd normally do the same fucking thing. What's social situations? Other than bad, that is. Anyway, he's definitely going to get a reputation here, though whether that's good or bad is a problem for the future.

"Antisocialism won," he says, about the dropping trou and fucking off for some wild sex party or something. He's been a fucking antisocial weirdo since he arrived, basically, and this is his first real foray into changing that. By finding and scaring his lil bro. "Admittedly the whole fuckbucks concept is a little out there, but, well." He's used to making porn for money. He'll be fine.

It's... Dirk wouldn't have done this, if he hadn't died. Which is awful. He would have passed by, looked in, confirmed Dave was present, and fucked off again. Worse, he would have instantly gone for the strife. He knows himself. Death did do him good, and if he had the capacity for shame, he'd be disgusted with himself.

But he doesn't, so he's not.

"You still growin'? Yeah, that tracks. Seventeen's still growin' age." He stretches out a bit on the couch, legs out in front of him, head tipped back in the cushions. Oddly relaxed. He listens, and he doesn't want to admit there's a tinge of jealousy that Dave has someone else to jam out with. Like they ever properly jammed out. "You make friends easy for a kid I raised," he says, not to say that Dave has an easy time of it, but admitting that he's shockingly well-adjusted for someone raised by Dirk Strider.

His head turns, real slow-like, and he's squinting behind his glasses but that's impossible to tell. "You don't want to live with me again." He says it real blunt, because he's pretty sure it's true. There's a thread of possessiveness in him, that he smacks down. "I've been lookin' at places, but I haven't settled in yet."

[itsknighttime]

For once, he's glad that Bro is feeling anti-social. It keeps him from the general public and keeps Dave from having to think of explanations as to why he's acting like he's acting. Mostly those explanations would be a half-hearted shrug of his shoulder, but it at least is going to exist as somewhat apologetic. "Here's a magic concept." he sits up a little further, shifting in his seat so he can tuck one leg up and have the other hang off the couch cushion but face the older at the same time. "You know you can just sit in wholesome silence with people right? Long as you're touching in some way." What fun is that you ask? Better than the images in Dave's head.

A shrug of his shoulder very similar and less apologetic to the one that he's going to have to gear up to get ready to give most people is presented as the answer to still growing. But as for the rest of it, "No, I don't." In fact, he's trying not to go off about how badly he's been trying to just keep the friends that most understand him and how fucking suck it is that a lot of them seem to have outgrown him or not grown at all and stayed back where they were years ago and Dave is the one that outgrew them. Life sucks.

As a reiteration of what he'd just said, but in a context to go along with what Dirk has said, Dave replies easily: "No, I don't. But I can't keep an eye on you if you're running around not only pantsless but homeless too. You can stay here until you get your own place to throw your shit in as long as you're not going to start up with bullshit like amb--"

Dave stops himself. He's already saying dumb shit. "Yeah. Yeah. You don't gotta say you can't promise you're not gonna. I already know you're gonna." Shuffling back so his head was on the back of the couch and his hands were in his lap, linked together. "Don't trap the fridge and stay out of my room and we'll be cool."

[broyonce]

"Boring," he says, "I know I don't look like some kind of romantic to you." Honestly, sitting next to someone and gently touching them is way too fucking intimate for him. No way. Just give him a quick fuck and he'll roll out the window and bail. Not that he's really done that since Dave came around. Even he has standards. He just got his fucking around done early.

"Compared to how you could've turned out." Simply. He's not going to press the matter. You know. Like him. And yeah, life sucks. It pretty much always will.

He rolls his eyes, glad they're still hidden. As always. "I got fucking pants on, kid." That's all he says, like it's a joke, but he's also visibly annoyed, a little tense around the shoulders. Dangerous, but not moving. "And you are still the kid. I don't need a chaperone."

He taps his fingers on his knee, otherwise unmoving. "Look. I appreciate the offer, but I built my shit up from nothing once, and I can do it again." This place should be goddamn easy. Pick a kink, rake in the chroma.

He pauses, and this shit is difficult. Finally, he adds: "You're grown. You clearly don't need me hanging around like some shitty poltergeist. I fucked off and died, I ain't got a place here."

[itsknighttime]

Dave also got the signature eye-roll from Dirk. There's a lot of things that he wishes he hadn't passed down to him, but there they are, in the current year of our lord. He's saved it for now for a heavy sigh. Bro isn't going to listen to him for nothing, is he? Who's the teenager with the hormones here? Probably Dirk in comparison. Further there's the idea that Dirk didn't have confidence in himself from the sounds of it. These aren't things he's ever even considered and he's probably going to sleep for a week trying to sleep off the stress of this conversation. "I guess..." he says with a cadence indicating he's simply hoping he's said something in the right vein of what he's supposed to there.

That and especially where Dirk casually swearing comes into play. That's not unlike him, it's not unlike either of them, but it's the posture and Dave raises his hands at casual chest level in surrender. He's still the kid. Don't. Do it. He's already looking straight ahead with his peripheral vision locked on Dirk and his silence is louder than any words he could've said even if he does manage out an almost demure sounding "Alright. Fuck. Sorry." The words are a farce, he's not sorry, he's back on edge and the thump of his heart in his chest and the tenseness of his muscles are evident. Bro on edge means Dave on edge even if he's slightly on edge. He could be full ass cheeks on the table and Dave would still call it edge.

All of what Dirk says passes without Dave knowing what to say in return, just get reminded of how small and insignificant he feels when there's a possibility of violence. He's never been good with it, not since Dirk's death and even before that, really. Not that he had a choice back then. What he wants to say is two different things. He wants to get upset at being on edge, but he wants to tell Dirk right off for.

Something.

"Okay, look. I'm not startin' trouble I Just kinda want to know what the fuck you're actually saying. I'm still the kid but I'm grown, you got nowhere, but you got no place here where I literally said you did." His hands are finally coming down and his eyes are starting to jerk little looks in Dirk's direction before maybe a muscle or two starts to settle down. "Think you're misunderstandin' me Bro, I'm so fuckin' mad." his hands helped the emphasis of his word by coming downa little more, "...like at you. I ain't even said half the shit I oughta, but I'm not fuckin' stupid and I'm not a fuckin' moron. You fucking died and ollied the fuck out on me when I needed you the god damn..." He's searching for a word and settles on a quick, "most. Now that I can half god damn tolerate your presence and we don't gotta be at each other's throats, you're findin' more reasons to ollie the fuck out on me." His monologue gives no real room for interruption and his eyes are slowly and more easily creeping over. Enough that he gives himself a moment to try to settle down and let the thud of his heart exit the canals of his ears. "What's the god damn point bein' made here, man? Just level with me on what the fuck you actually want. To check up on me? You did. To find out if I'm 'the right Dave'? Bullshit. Now don't get pissed at me because I'm tryin' here. I'm actually going out on a socially awkward motherfucking limb."

[broyonce]

It's rough to hear all that shit. But Dirk listens. He also catalog's Dave's reaction to his even mild hostility, and where he should feel guilt he just feels nothing. There's something wrong with him, isn't there? Like, fundamentally.

He sighs.

He sighs and he leans forward and he rests his elbows on his knees, one gloved hand clutching the stupid juicebox still. He stares at it. And fuck, above all, he feels lost.

"I don't blame you for being mad," he finally says, a long-ass time after Dave is done talking. "And I know that's not all you're riled at me for, I ain't blind." He pauses. Doesn't take a drink. Continues. "You're grown, sure. An adult, nearly. That's some scary shit. But that don't mean you can act like you're gonna stick a six inch ruler between me and my date to the homecoming dance, you get me?" He's a little more slang-y like this, when he's genuine. Twangy, too. His mouth twitches, but this time it's a frown. "I didn't intend to die," he admits, "but I knew I was gonna, eventually. Just not when. I served my intended purpose the moment you got into your session." He probably should have died then. What a weird thought.

He finally lifts his head to look over at him, not blank but careful. "I don't know what the fuck I want. That's the whole goddamn point. I'm dead. I don't know what the fuck to do with that. I'm not supposed to be here. I was meant to stay dead."

An astute observation, but a depressing one. "I ain't thinkin' about leavin' because I want to, if you get my point. You don't fucking need me. So what's the purpose?" He's well fucking aware he's not likable, Dave, so it's certainly not that. "You want me around, I'm around."

[itsknighttime]

It's rough to say it, especially when he's feeling like he's got to walk on eggshells. He's walked on them before, not even figuratively, he's learned before he could just fly instead. He's essentially immortal and shouldn't be afraid of the same things he used to be, but god damn it. Things still hurt and he doesn't want that sort of thing to be the first thing that happens the moment he finds out his ... his dad isn't dead. Make of it what he wants, it's true.

The silence as a prefix for the talk, it's killer and Dave hates silence, too. It's why he talks so damn much when he gets nervous. At least Dirk has listened to him and it seems like even retained enough of it to give a fuck about his monologue which in itself is a surprise. Dave's eyes have strayed to the box in the strong hand holding it. That's going to be his first indicator if he has to stand up and move away, that juice box is a little easier to take the crushing brunt of any anger too late to quell.

There it is. The both of them are dropping all pretense. It's the accent coming out, the thing they both reserve for their most relaxed of times or the times when they're being the most real for a better set of terms. A Strider and a Strider in the same room is always going to be tense. Dave does get it and he "Yeah..."'s quietly so he's not interrupting but that there's a specific marker for him to tell Dirk he understands. It doesn't make any of this easier, but he's not wrong. Dave has no right to father his father. Technically it's not wrong but specifically it's not right.

The life of Dave feeling tense has drained out of him and poured into his shoulders drooping at the mention of just why Dave got into the medium at all. He didn't really do much of that on his own without Bro. He doesn't like hearing that he had a single purpose and has already worn that purpose through. In a mimic of what Dirk went through, minus the juice box, which Dave picks back up to take a small drink off of after Dirk gets it off his chest, too.

It's clear that Dave is trying his best to work through what he's supposed to say. Something that's going to make everything alright in some weird role reversal that he sort of threw on himself. It's not even Bro's fault. He licked his top lip again, his jaw hanging a little bit as if he's going to say something. There's so many somethings he should say.

However, he's gone with something that he hopes gets the point across. If it weren't for that smile, that damn smile, Dave might not have actually considered this after being scared by Dirk's aggression. Even a small one. But there really was a smile there, something that he can't remember the last time his guardian had done. If ever in his memory's reach. It's almost the same as the man who took him to stand at turn tables the moment he had coordination in his fingers to lift them past flailing.

"Fuck, Bro, don't make it weird. You're gonna make me say I want you around, I'm goin' to say it and then you're gonna make me dance around talkin' 'bout bullshit like your purpose. A purpose is what you make it dude." He stands up for a moment stretching his shoulders back with a few popcracks of joints, drinking a little bit of his juice while he stares at nothing in particular. "Don't make me into a sappy pussy when I'm tryin' to be upset with you. If I didn't want you around I would have told you to get the fuck out when I realized it was you. So..." he looks over his shoulder, shrugging the opposite one. "Stay until you find somewhere. I don't wanna cramp your style with all my six inches."

How about a dick joke to go with the ruler joke, that's a dick entendre joke. Besides if it gets bad, maybe the showdown would do them both good. Dirk would learn he can't push Dave around and if he does, he's messing with the grown man, not the baby he left. Which is lies. Dave wouldn't be able to fight for himself, but he can pretend.

[broyonce]

God, this is so stupid. Neither of them are normal, or good at this, but honest to fucking god, at least Dave has an excuse. Dirk made him that way. Dirk pulling the strings like a puppetmaster made him nervous, and incapable of expressing emotions properly, and was it worth it?

He thinks to himself, mildly, that Dave is still alive, and that's enough.

Instead of squishing the juice box he actually takes a drink out of it, which is borderline normal, thankfully.

Also borderline normal was using his fucking words instead of his sword, and like--it took a lot for him to do that. It's a struggle, one he doesn't quite understand, and he hates not understanding.

And like--he's just being blunt, and honest, about the whole uselessness thing. It's not a self-esteem thing, he did his goddamn job, but it's just...practical. He always knew he had a purpose. Dave was it. Everything else was just fun and games bullshit. This though, this ain't fun and games.

He looks over at Dave, watching him, subdued. "I ain't makin' shit weird." It's not even defensive. "I'm just sayin'. Guess I could find a new purpose here. Try some things out. Afterlife chic. Not like I can go back, suppose I should be real thankful for the opportunity."

He's...unsure where he stands on that. He thinks death should be peaceful, restful, but he is glad for a chance to sort some shit out. To know that Dave kept going like he should.

"You ain't a sappy pussy, either." Wry.

His eyes follow Dave as he stands, but Dirk stays sitting. Surprising, maybe, but it's an acquiescence.

Finally, he nods.

"Yeah. Alright. I'll stay."

Then he snorts, which is an actual show of goddamn emotion, but he's glad that his stupid six inch bullshit was picked up on. "It is a little cramping my style. Didn't bring anyone home since I got you."

Oddly responsible, all things considered.

[itsknighttime]

Dave doesn't feel like this is fun and games either. He feels stressed out and not sure how or what to say where it doesn't end up re-learning the boundary of aggression that comes with being a Strider. No, the boundaries of aggression where it comes to being a Strider that's alive at the same time as an older, stronger Strider. He shrugs his shoulder, assessing the not weird comment with it in a non committal way.

He fully understands the undertaking of what he's said and what he's offered and that Dirk could give a fuck less what Dave thinks. At least, in Dave's perspective and how fucked up is it that with all the things he said to Dirk and knowing, at least in his heart, that Dirk doesn't actually give a shit and probably blames him for something Dave has no clue about... He can't just let him on his own. It isn't so he can make sure Dirk isn't fucking everything that moves and things that try to move with enough gust of wind, it's something else and while Dirk is trying to understand himself, Dave is trying to understand too.

None of it is making sense. Okay, some of it, but not all of it and that's enough to be none in this situation. "Yeah, you could." find a purpose. There isn't much else to say, he wants to encourage things he knows is going to distract Dirk from being Dirk and yet he's not sure he knows how to do that anymore. It means at least he might not have to learn how to sleep with his eyes open again maybe, possibly, actually. Dry eyes suck. He doesn't comment on Dirk saying he isn't a pussy, it could have been either way. Either Dave is being scolded for insinuating it and therefore putting a finger toward his manhood or he's actually trying not to be a douche bag and it's too hard to tell.

Quiet after, he waits for Bro to make his decision and he nods his head once or twice along with him. That's decided. Decided and Dave already feels the cold twist of his actions, he knows this isn't going to be easy. Dave turns his front to Dirk, leaning against the wall to sip his juice and finish it up and an odd quirk comes to his eyebrow almost as if he's searching his memory.

"I never even noticed." mainly because he had been too busy looking for other things that were more life threatening. "Or you did and there's still bodies somewhere in that house." it's a passing joke and he tosses the juicebox into the sink for now. He'll clean it up later. "I barely survived, I don't see a normie walking in there, tits in hand and walking out alive. Or." he shrugs a shoulder, "Maybe you'd have been a gentleman and disarmed the traps. How should I know?"

It's just then that Dave is noticing how his muscles feel and there's rolls of his shoulder or bends of his neck to alleviate some of the feeling after having to go into full on Dirk's getting mad mode. "You could take the room this time, I'm not that interested in boning anyone here." Even if he is, which he is, there's no way he's telling Dirk that.

[broyonce]

Everything they do is fucked up. That's just how they are. And honestly? That's Dirk's fault, though genetics probably come into it too. This, the quiet, the small gestures, is more normal, to his recollection, and he doesn't know how he feels about that either.

He watches Dave, catalogs him, thinks about him. This is rough, he knows, but Dave can take it. Dave can take a whole lot of shit. Always has. It doesn't occur to Dirk that he shouldn't have to, because neither of them ever had that luxury.

"You grew," Dirk amends, about Dave barely surviving, like that makes it any better. They both know he's not going to apologize, though Dirk is unaware that Dave thinks it was some bullshit about hating him as opposed to what it actually was, which was doing what he thought was best. Even though he was wrong. Which he'll never admit. "But no, I stopped bringing anyone around once I got you. Stopped going out too. Just you and me." And Cal, but he feels weird suddenly mentioning him, which is--weird, and he sure hates that. It is kinda funny, for Dave to mention him bringing in people with tits, because he sure never did that even when he lived alone, but he's been weird and repressed for so goddamn long that he doesn't even correct him.

He raises an eyebrow slightly, at the offer. "Earlier you vehemently didn't want me in your room. Anyway, it's your place, not mine, and you really don't need to worry about me bringing anyone back to your apartment to fuck." Bluntly. "I lived this long without," which is a joke, because he's dead, "so I'll be fine until I get my own place. Besides, I got plans other than that. Business plans."

Oh no. Dirk, no. Please don't start a smut empire in fuck city.

[itsknighttime]

Dave doesn't correct Dirk, either, he didn't grow. He got stronger and that's what Dirk means but he's not saying it. He's not saying a lot of things and even though there's a lot to take in, they're falling back easier into the routine of where not to step and what not to bother elaborating on for the lack of give a shit. It's genuinely frightening how easy it is for Dave to just eat down all the things he feels and let them get locked away in favour of not dealing with Dirk's ire over them. There's going to be a time, a place, but that time and place isn't right now.

The Knight never thought of it that way, from Dirk's perspective. Maybe because the only perspective Dave had was of his elaborate ways to try to kill him to make him stronger. It's something he's admitted to people even here. He does notice the distinct lack of Cal in that statement and feels like maybe it's too soon to start talking about that, too. There's goin to be yet another time and plays, but yet again that time and place isn't now. "I prob'ly would've scared them off anyway. Far as I know, normal human kids don't move at a speed beyond light." Or have the ability to be thrown one way and change their direction mid-flight just to cling. Now it's the two of them again and Dave feels responsible for his behaviour.

He shouldn't and Dirk has already scolded him for it but he knows how controlling and manipulative he can be. Can be? Is. Knows how controlling and manipulative he is. "Then I guess you go out the window if you want the bedroom." he doesn't care where he stays. The commentary chain on telling Dirk to just hang a sock on the door is stopped dead in its tracks and Dave tilts his head.

Then it hits him and he doesn't really know what to do with it. "You're not going to start a kink empire." That's not a question, he knows some how, somewhere, there will be a kink empire. "You know what?" on second thought, "Fuck it. If there's anywhere that shit might actually work-" And keep him out of trouble, "-it'd probably be here." He sighs, setting his glasses aside for now on top of the TV, "Probably be here, probably be you who could pull it off." and a run of his hands through his hair after a soft rub to his eyes.

He really hates this place, he hates its reason and he hates it trying to force people together with guilt trips of crops and people needing them. "Last bitch tears thing I'm going to say, I'm at least glad you're not dead. I'm leavin' it at that and there's my peace. Just... don't get dead here too. I hear it doesn't stick but I don't want round two of finding you like that."

[broyonce]

Neither of them say shit. That's the status quo. That's how things are. Hell, Dirk wouldn't have known how to talk to anyone when he was a kid even if he'd had someone, and he unconsciously put that on Dave too. Sure, it made him strong in some ways, but he's realizing it made him weak in others.

"Their fault if they couldn't handle what a fuckin' cool baby you were." Okay, amended: this is the nicest thing Dirk has ever said to anyone.

Anyway. Yeah, he's controlling and manipulative. That's him all over. He doesn't even have to try, it just comes naturally. He shakes his head at the window comment though. "Don't need a bedroom."

But Dave switches focus to the smut peddling and he cants his head aside, real casual, and looks at Dave with a sense of scrutiny. "Gotta get the fuckbucks somehow, and keepin' busy sounds real nice." Does Dirk intend to try and game the system by opening a business so that he never has to actually get intimate with anyone and face his own proclivities? Yes. What the fuck, Dirk. Even if that's not how it works, he's going to try. "Not sure what yet, though. Gotta ruminate."

So, perhaps surprisingly, not smuppets.

What Dave says next strikes him though, hard, and for a split-second he almost looks fucking winded. "Ain't gonna die here," he says, confirmation. "Once is enough for me to learn a whole lotta lessons."

It's--an odd promise, but that's what it is. A promise. Fucking imagine.

There's a silence that draws on, because he doesn't know what to say. Finally, he looks over at him. "Got a question," he says, a little too bluntly, then adds: "you don't gotta answer, but I gotta ask."

He's actually not being mean by being vague. He literally has no idea how terrifying that sentence could be.

Time of the day to emotional bread.

[itsknighttime]

A cool baby.

He isn't a baby anymore, but that's not what he's fixated on, he had been a cool baby. That sounds like a nice thing to say and yet Dave doesn't know if it's for Dirk's benefit or his own that he had a cool baby. If he has to put his finger on it, he just got complimented. Holyshit. Okay. Two impossible things happened today. Dirk is alive and also he got a compliment of some sort out of it.

Not only that but he gets to keep his room. Where he will sit and be a fucking hermit himself with the barrier of the door between him and Dirk until he's sure things are actually safe. It's easier to talk to him about a porn empire than it is to talk to him about living arrangements, or any of the things that've happened with him during the three years for Dave that Dirk has been dead. Par for the course of a Strider but it doesn't mean that it doesn't suck. "Whatever it is, you'll figure it out." he can't promise he'll help, but he can't promise he won't help either. It's still Dirk and this is literally the most improvement he's ever seen in his guardian's life. Maybe when they're done the impromptu feels jam he can explain it's a lot easier than planning an entire empire.

The promise is one he's going to hold the other Strider to, Dave wouldn't be able to take it and it's something that Dirk had better not forget the promise of. It's one of the most important of what's been said here and Dave is going to have to learn to trust Dirk to be there the day after. When Dave... not wakes up, because Dave isn't going to sleep for that week well for a while, but when he does wake up or does come home or does check in, it better not be at a grave. He'll be so mad that he'll wait around for a necromancer to show up just to kick Dirk's ass.

Dirk never asks to ask questions, either. This is a lot of firsts for Dave and he takes tentative steps over and sits down next to Dirk still pulling himself into his own corner. Mostly because it's comfortable and the other part of it is his own mental comfort. "Okay, ask your question. I got about twenty things it could be so I may as well hear it and not guess."

let''s get that breeeaaad

[broyonce]

Dirk can't promise things will be safe. He's restless, and paranoid, and proprietary, and he's definitely going to pull some shit. That said, he's also... You know, sticking around a little. For now. Sure, he's rattled by dying, but it's clear Dave's still rattled by him dying years later.

It does suck. It sucks that they're both like this. Not that Dirk has anything interesting to contribute. Dave's the one with three years of time. "Yeah," he confirms. "Maybe I'll go into restaurants." What. That's not porn. Surely there's a catch. That's peak irony, though. A guy that never cooked running a restaurant.

He intends to keep his promise, at least, as well as he can. This place might prove a challenge, but he's up for it. He's got to be. It'll be easy to hermit and keep his head down, right? Sure. Having Dave around will help.

Dirk finishes his apple juice and sets the box down, finally sitting back against the back of the couch. He watches Dave, really watches him, and nods. "What happened..." He pauses, for a moment viscerally unsure if he should be doing this, visibly so, which should be unsettling, then continues. "What happened to Cal?" It'd be such a normal question, in any other family. But it's almost like Dirk, who never indicated that he noticed anything wrong with that evil-ass puppet, knows that something's off.

He's always known things he shouldn't, though.

[itsknighttime]

In his heart of hearts, Dave knows that Dirk can't promise him anything. Maybe being dead gives you blood clots for all he knows. Then again he's met several doctors and one of which he's betting would help him without much prompting. She's also hot as hell so he's betting he can use that to his advantage getting Dirk there maybeprobablymaybenot. If he can't admit it to himself right now, he's sure not going to admit to Dirk that he actually does need him. He needs him for a lot of things like proving once and for all that either he hates him for ruining his gigolo life before he became a sex industry mogul and didn't need it. Or he's been wrong and God he hopes he's wrong. He feels thirteen all over again trying to prove himself one way or another when really he doesn't have to and wishes his brain wasn't against him in the process of it.

"Res..." he tilts his head, eyes slitting behind his glasses and the posture says enough for someone like Dirk who's lived his life seeing past shades. "If it's not ethnic food and doesn't include sum yung gai I'm fuckin' rioting and not helping." Restaurants sound really safe. Safe and like he won't have to explain to anyone... Who's he kidding? He knows Dirk is going to do something with it. It'll just be a matter of sitting back and watching as the irony master worked his magic.

Dave really wishes that the other nineteen questions were the question that Dirk asked him and not about Cal. It's not easy to answer. "Nothing. He's the same as he always has been." It's not a lie. Not exactly. "Just he isn't here." If he gets caught in his white lie, then he gets caught in his white lie. It's true, though, that Dirk just seems to know things. "Why? Missing your girlfriend?"

[broyonce]

He doesn't have fucking blood clots, Dave. He also hasn't been to a doctor in literal decades, and telling him one is a hot woman isn't about to get him to change his mind, sorry. But he's here, right now, and that's what matters, right? Better late (hah, late) than never.

"Tex-mex." That sounds innocuous. Really innocuous. "Tacos, specifically." Oh, no. There's so much material there. "I'll iron out the details later. Menu items, names." He feels an odd pang at the idea of Dave actually helping, but presses that thought down. Not now.

(Then when?)

Dave should know better than to lie to a human lie detector. "Bullshit," he says, and there's a tension there that's not directed at Dave, inexplicably. But he takes a breath. Quiets. "David." Now that one's a rarity. "Let me rephrase. What happened with Cal?" There's a sharpness to his tone. "Don't be a little shit, either."