prismaticrap | ▶ TDM .011

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You awaken amidst the darkness with only a faint light to greet you. Your body is hemmed in by shards of crystals, gently sparkling and possibly pricking your skin. The surrounding landscape is dyed in the pinks and purples of the dusk filled with crystals protruding from the ground, some as large as a skyscraper. After an hour or two of wandering through the crystal wilderness, a group of people find you worse for wear. They are the gallant Moon Knights from the planet of Prismatica. Because of the strange phenomena during the past months when scientists observed the sudden appearance of rainbow crystals in the sky, the government has been feverishly combing through the moon for more Moonblessed to be rescued. You’ll eventually be brought into Iris’s moon government center.

You all may have your usual inquiries — Where are we? Who are you? What's going on? — and the Prismals are almost too eager to answer. They tell you about their world and about the first appearance of the Moonblessed as the medical staff give you an examination to make sure you’re not carrying any viruses or biological hazards. If you react violently, you may be restrained and nerfed with a specialized neurotransmitting gun that releases a numbing agent through the top of your spine. Once the examinations are over, you’re informed that you will be provided accommodations on their planet during your stay. You will then be escorted to the docks, and led onto a large transport vessel that makes frequent trips back and forth between the Iris moon and the planet. Faces onboard vary from both old and new Moonblessed as well as the local Prismals.

The next destination: Prismatica.

▶ There and Back Again
Iris Moon, Government Center (Arrival) and Planet Prismatica, City of Lunatia | top

Welcome to Prismatica’s hub, Lunatia, the city of your dreams! A bustling metropolis lush with bright lights, vibrant colors, luxuriant plant life, and all the conveniences of technology absent from your own world… It seems like paradise to all the uninitiated. After a quick tour of the city, new arrivals can find themselves getting cozy in their new homes.

A Settle in your new home at Level 2 to find new roommates and say hello to your neighbors! City officials will give you directions to the designated districts across Level 2 and instruct you to pick out a unit. Each apartment complex has a different aesthetic, some may look cozy, some stylish, and some bizarre. The free accommodations have a basic living space that can only fit two or three people at most in one unit.

Starter Chromaspace furnishings are provided which can be controlled with the touch of a built-in panel. Examples are color-changing curtains, transforming sofa beds, cabinets turning into tables, etc. Customizing your apartment or moving out will have to wait until you earn more chroma. Until then, why don’t you check out your new neighborhood or explore the city levels? Maybe your new roommates or neighbors can give you a “hand” with allowance for dinner.

B As a Remooning gift from the Lunar Scientia Headquarters, the dedicated team from the Amphoria Room has released their latest perfected technology: Amphoria Pods. These VR Pods, which can fit up to four people at a time, have been set up in the gaming hub within Level 1’s PrismaPlace. They allow users to upload sceneries of their world in order to create a realistic holographic landscape of their homes that others can access and play around with, granting everyone the means to relive past memories with their loved ones as well as interact with the bestiary of other worlds. The pods also use the same technology that enhanced the popular virtual game, League Match Action Online (LmaO), which means you’re liable to feel the chill of cold environments, the burning heat from boiling water, the hard slap of your ex-lover, or the biting sting of a stray wasp. All who use the Amphoria Pods for the first time this year will also receive a small amount of Chroma in case things get too real.

▶ God Save Us from the Queen
Level 1, PrismaPlace and Level 2, Greatmoon Groves | top

The first month of the year is packed with two of the most important winter events this season: Queen Elara’s birthday and the League Match Action Online (LmaO) PVP semi-finals. It just so happens that the Queen of Lunatia is also a huge LmaO fan. Coincidence? Definitely not! LmaO players and royal family fans alike can meet her at PrismaPlace, where she will be appearing in cosplay of her favorite hero, Ah-Kari, while holding a body pillow of Commander GareBear. You, too, can get an autograph or selfie with the birthday girl if you’re willing to fall in line! Her bodyguards will also be in LmaO cosplay, keeping the crowd under control during the long wait.

Queen Elara

Good day to you all! This may come as a surprise to our guests the Moonblessed, but I am a normal person despite my exalted position. Please do not think of me today as Queen Elara. Instead... my name is Ah-Kari, sorceress of the crystal! With my soul fan blades, through the darkness, I shall slice all who dare hurt my commander in twain!

But when she is not meeting and greeting...

Queen Elara

My comrades, we're going to make history today. We're going for a new record. Perhaps the highest kill counts or the fastest clear for this map — it matters not. We’ve practiced day and night for this tournament, so let us show everyone that we’re not to be taken lightly! Also, the livestream is going in the royal archive, so make your successors proud!!

... she will be furiously grinding her character and training her skills in LmaO in the hopes of qualifying for the finals. Spectators will see her bring her own team full of hapless palace attendants who are there to either serve as her practice match partners or provide support to the one-woman army that is Queen Elara.

PrismaPlace is packed with giant crowds, many of them also in cosplay. While the semi-finals are taking place, new and old LmaO players alike can participate in the game’s current campaign: players who form teams get an improved chance of spawning unique monsters as well as winning rare items and skins in those prized lootboxes! Teams can also try to clear the event’s story together, featuring an aerial battle fought on griffin-back, which is heavily inspired by the popular Lunatian epic, The Battle of Abraxas, a colorful and complex story about the conflict between two families fighting over the fictional land of griffins, Abraxas.

A Progression in the event requires acquiring a griffin mount and getting it ready for battle. You can lure a wild one to yourself with a special veggie pie on a fishing pole. Should the griffin reject the lure, your character will be caught in a wind gaol and can only break out with the help of other players. Should you succeed, raising the griffin is a tedious task that involves players training alongside their respective griffins, running laps with them, taking them to hunt monsters, and feeding them properly. Depending on their diet, the food you give them will affect the color of its plumage and their battle stats.

Or you can skip the hard work and simply moonlace with your teammates through all the progression bars and required materials to save time. Once finished, you’ll be able to battle one another through the thunderous aerial domain of Abraxas. Clearing the event will net you an event-exclusive skin inspired by the royal family’s shining celestial robes and a weapon skin of a body pillow with your favorite character, so do your best!

B In celebration of Queen Elara’s birthday, the office of the royal household is hosting a modest tea party in the Greatmoon Groves. Swiffy bots that are normally programmed to remind visitors to keep the groves clean are now playing a birthday jingle on repeat. For people who prefer to be away from the blinding neon lights and the thumping techno music of PrismaPlace, this is the ideal escape. Unlimited tea and cookies are being served!

The tea is a soft-colored lilac concoction made from Ehrysian tea leaves that are known to cause a huge spike of alertness and is popular to Moon Knights and office workers with long night shifts as well as gamers for those all-night grinding sessions. The assorted cookies have either Ah-Kari or Commander GareBear printed on them. In case it isn't obvious yet, both are the birthday girl’s favorite LmaO characters.

Any Moonblessed looking for extra income is welcome to be royal attendants for the day; the hours are paid by Demichroma. They must be properly dressed up as maids or butlers (outfits provided by the royal household) as they serve tables.

▶ Say Cheese
Level 3, Caihong | top

Meanwhile, Caihong is in the midst of Remooning festivities in celebration of the new year, and merriment usually lasts a fortnight, filled with fireworks in the sky. Upon entering the district, beautiful Prismals with rat ears and tails greet you with a Happy Remooning and eagerly tug you along to join in.

Those welcomed will receive a pack of multi-colored sparklers, mooncakes topped with cheese, and a glowing drink called Champagne Supernova, poured in a thin glass in your hand. If you are over eighteen, the rat Prismals will ask if you prefer your drink with a kick. If you say yes, then they will add flavorful ice that causes extreme intoxication and might leave you to be susceptible to all levels of suggestion. Saying no (or if you’re under 18) will simply leave it as a sweet drink.

A One of the party games being played by the locals is called Lucky Tail, which is basically pinning the tail on the holographic rat stand-in — with a twist, it must be played with a partner! Another participant will blindfold you, spin you around, then push you forward. The stand-in is located at the end of unsteady elevated platforms forming a maze, filled to the brim with distracting objects underneath. They’re long, they’re thick, and they’re vibrating furiously in an attempt to knock you off the platforms.

Your partner must guide you by voice to successfully navigate through the maze! The game is rigged with various mechanisms, so stepping on specific platforms will activate a number of traps against you or your partner: machines that may tickle, drop colorful slime, or cause the platform to repetitively spin, and who knows what else?

Should you manage to get through the obstacle course and pin the tail successfully, you and your partner will win copious amounts of Demichroma, courtesy of Buwan from Buwan’s Stop.

B Another attraction is a fun magic glamour booth known for its face or body swap features. The booth staff, clad in their festive rat paraphernalia, will encourage you and your friends to take aesthetic shots using an illusion generator. The effects last an hour. Photographed images can be instantly uploaded and shared in Prismagram. New year, new you! Why not take the chance to celebrate this momentous occasion in a unique fashion? It’s all in good humor.

There are two buttons to press: (A) CUSTOM or (B) RANDOM. Pressing A will allow participants to customize their desired effects. Pressing B will cause the illusion magic to randomly rearrange participants in questionable positions, new outfits (or lack thereof), and you may even come out of the booth looking like your best friend or your worst rival. The possibilities are endless!

▶ Questions
If you have any questions regarding this test drive meme, please ask them in the Questions thread below.

▶ As a reminder, test drive memes are for new characters only. However, current players are more than welcome to use these prompts for their own posts in the IC communities, personal inboxes, catch-all posts, etc.!
▶ As our test drive memes are game canon, feel free to keep any threads that happen here as canon for your character should they be accepted.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ The Nephew.

Confusion deepens on Jin Ling's face, and inevitably the confusion turns to anger, because look, who did he learn his emotional responses from? Oh? Oh??

He lets out a hard breath, gripping his sword at his side, wrestling with himself as he tries to figure out a way to say 'That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard' without getting thoroughly whipped by Zidian...

Instead he just stood there, angry and confused and extremely hurt, his face starting to screw up. ]

What does it matter, if I'm not even born!! [ Is what he settled on. Like an adult. Who was definitely fully processing this situation.

He wanted to top that off with storming out of the room, but unfortunately Jiang Cheng was between him and the door. So instead he just whistled sharply for Fairy. ]

[ Meanwhile, over here with Jiang Cheng, alarm turns to panic, which of course in turn also goes straight to anger as he stares at the abruptly upset apparent blood relative of his, at a loss for how to react. Something in him twinges, uncomfortable and vaguely pissed off at how there's something all too familiar about the inflections in the boy's wail.

Motherfucker, they really are related.

Trying not to audibly groan, Jiang Cheng mops a hand over his face when something—furry???—scurries underfoot to get between him and Jin Ling. ...that softens him a little, feeling a faint swell of familial recognition in the idea of his nephew growing up with a dog to call his own. ]

...because you're born now?? [ ...it softens him, but there's no one he loves more than Wei Wuxian and that hasn't saved Wei Wuxian from his scorn even once. ] What, do you not want to have a relationship with me just because I'm younger? Fine, suit yourself.

[ But he doesn't move. Instead he crouches offering his hand to the (extremely cute, Jiang Cheng might actually cry himself) dog to sniff. ]

What's her name?

I didn't say that! [ He snaps back automatically. Even though yeah he might have said something that could 100% be taken that way. Look, he's an idiot, what do you want from him. He flushed angrily, looking down at Fairy as she happily welcomed Jiang Cheng back. ]

Fairy.

[ He said it both with pride and a hint of rebellious defiance. Go on, tell him it's a stupid name. He dares you. ]

How did you even know about me if I'm not even born yet?

[ Just going to ignore the 'born now' statement, apparently. ]

A good name. It suits you, doesn't it, Fairy...?

[ There's not even a hint of judgement or even pause on Jiang Cheng's part as he nods at the name, rubbing all over Fairy's head and neck as his face softens into a warm, affectionate smile. This kind of warm was long forgotten in Jiang Cheng by the time Jin Ling would have memories of him, but here, now, in a place and time where he still has the foundation of a family and hope for the future to be brighter than it is today, warmth still comes readily.

He's still smiling with much the same warmth as he looks back Jin Ling's way. ]

...it's complicated. There are people here similar to us, but they've lived slightly different lives and often look at least somewhat different from how we remember them. There's another version of myself who is older, and he told me of my nephew.

[ Though, having never met Jin Ling, for all Jiang Cheng knows this could be his shige's nephew instead. But Jin Ling recognized him readily enough, so that's not nothing. ]

Look. [ With one parting head ruffle, Jiang Cheng straightens to level Jin Ling with his gaze again. ] If you know me at all, you know how important my family means to me. Our family.

So whatever complications, we're family. I'm willing to be your uncle if you'll have me. [ Since... they're like just a few years apart, which has Jiang Cheng feeling a little young for that title but— He feels a little young for a lot of things. Having dead parents for one. Being sect leader. The list goes on. Might as well add Jin Ling to the list. ]

Well?

[ He can’t help it. He relaxes a little, despite himself, watching his uncle with the dog. He’s not sure he’s ever seen his uncle that soft. It’s that, more than anything else, that convinced him that it must be true. That somehow, his uncle is so young that he hasn’t even been born yet, in his mind.

But that means— that means as far as Jiang Cheng knows, his parents are still alive, too. He feels something catch in his throat. ]

You are my uncle, [ He points out a little petulantly. Why would he have to accept something that was just true? Jiang Cheng was his uncle whether he wanted to be or not. Even if there were apparently two of them? He was... he was just going to have to think about that later.

But he frowned and shifted a little uncomfortably. ]

.... and the rest of our family? Are they here too?

Yes, well— [ Another frown touches Jiang Cheng's face as his instinct is to slap Jin Ling with what he actually meant by those words, but fortunately for them both Jin Ling goes right on with the inquiry of the rest of the Jiang family. He sighs, shaking his head, trying not to feel too much regret that Jin Ling is here without his parents when Jiang Cheng himself is still adjusting to the idea of a life without his own parents.

The boy looks in his middling teens at least, not that much younger than Jiang Cheng himself. He'll adapt. And he's not without family entirely, which Jiang Cheng is learning now makes all the difference in the world. ]

...unfortunately not. The only other person from my specific Jiang sect has been Wei Wuxian, but I'm sure he'll be glad to meet you too.

[ Very quickly, an adventurous parade of feelings crosses Jin Ling’s face: disappointment, grief, shock, anger.

He grips his sword fiercely, looking at Jiang Cheng with nothing short of confused betrayal. ]

How— How dare you speak his name—-

[ The anger is automatic, and learned. The confusion stems from the fact that usually his uncle would beat him to this in the first place. ]

I don’t want to meet him! How can you even — I don’t want to meet him!! I don’t care how young he is or what he remembers — if you know who I am then you— you must know what he is, too!!

[ The outburst causes Jiang Cheng to take a half step back before the boy's words register and he immediately regains that ground, scowling. His defense of Wei Wuxian is still ingrained and reflexive, anxiety from their three month absence still crackling restlessly directly under his skin. For all he is trying to accept his new nephew, the boy is a virtual stranger and Wei Wuxian is nearly the other half of him. ]

Whatare you talking about?! [ he snaps, fury darkening the storm of his features as he takes another menacing step in Jin Ling's direction, his hand curling into a fist around Zidian almost without his notice. ]

[ He thrust out his sword in front of him, his hand shaking with his anger. ]

Do you think I would carry this, if my Father was alive? If Wei Wuxian hadn’t killed him?? [ His voice is getting louder as it goes, his grief overcoming the surreal fucking experience that is him having to tell Jiang Cheng this of all people. ]

He killed my parents!! You were there! How can you— He destroyed everything and you still—

Even after you killed him, you kept searching for people to hurt just because they might have been him, and I can’t believe— [ Tears were springing to his eyes as everything that had just happened to him before he came here was suddenly slamming into his chest. ] I even— I even —

[ Stabbed him? Rescued him? Trusted him?

The words got so tangled up in his throat that he had to grit his teeth against them. ]

[ As bidden, Jiang Cheng's eyes snap to Suihua again. He swallows against a dry throat, recalling their time at Qishan. Jin Zixuan's pride, his staunch defiance, hand gripped tight around his gilded blade. The fact locks into place in Jiang Cheng's mind, a cold flush of anxiety in his chest at not realizing before.

A child in his teens should not have inherited his father's sword.

Jiang Cheng's hand clenches, it shakes, the shape of Zidian digging into him as he feels his mother's hand clutching back. That terrible day Zidian passed to him.

But the boy's words continue. 'If Wei Wuxian hadn't killed him??' An accident? Another misunderstanding, a brawl like in Gusu only a few years past yet so distant in Jiang Cheng's mind it feels like it happened in another life? Wei Wuxian can be foolish, can be reckless, can let his heart get well ahead of his sense. Another devastating lack of judgement like in the mountain cave, more loss, another Lotus Pier. It's war, but it's ending. Does the war go on? Three months missing— Do they get Wei Wuxian back? He returns, Jiang Cheng knows that much, but does he come back to them?

It doesn't stop.

Parents.

Jiang Cheng's heart drops to the floor. His hand twitches, numb fingers allowing Sandu to slip from them, clattering to the ground. A-Jie. His throat burns, eyes wide, wild with disbelief. Her absence here has been tolerable only because it feels like mere separation. That she is somewhere waiting, certain to rejoin them. Killed. And Jiang Cheng was there. What was he doing? What was he doing if not protecting his family?

It's already so much that Jiang Cheng almost misses those final, fatal words.

'—after you killed him—'

Jiang Cheng's lungs seize, his hands shake, his eyebrows draw together in incomprehension. His parents murdered, Lotus Pier massacred, his sister killed before his very eyes and that's not enough? Even Wei Wuxian, and— By his own hand?

When, when, when has he ever been able to defeat Wei Wuxian?

What happened to them all?

His nephew is crying great, shattered sobs and Jiang Cheng can only stare, confusion churning like poison in his veins. The boy claims Jiang Cheng killed Wei Wuxian and the blood debt remained unpaid, for Jiang Cheng to have continued to search the world over to hunt the ghost of the only brother he has ever known. But all Jiang Cheng can think of is Wei Wuxian's childish discontent from the other day, pouting and calling Jiang Cheng to his room to sulk about how Lan Wangji has been treating him. He thinks of the months of searching, of heartache, of worry, Yanli making him swear over and over again to bring Wei Wuxian home safely.

There is a light in Wei Wuxian that the war has not yet stolen, and it's thinking of his brother's smile that Jiang Cheng surges forward, seizes his nephew by the shirt collar, the throat. He hauls Jin Ling up, off his feet, forcing him against the nearest wall, the look on his face like nothing so much as a cornered animal ready to strike. ]

Shut up, shut up! Shut your fucking mouth— That's my brother—

[ His grip is too tight. His nephew can't breathe, can't move. Jiang Cheng drops him but doesn't move back, hands instead gripping the front of those elegant Jin sect robes. ]

That's not what happens, it can't be. I wouldn't—

[ He remembers how quiet Wei Wuxian grew in Yiling, how grieved. Wei Wuxian coaxing him to eat, taking care of him, looking into the future when he couldn't see the path. His big brother, warm and unyielding. Yanli's voice from long ago, telling him Wei Wuxian never fools around when it counts. And he doesn't. He doesn't. ]

If you breathe a word of this to him, it'll be the last thing you do here. Do you understand me?!

[ He wasn't expecting it.

Even at this point - his emotions heightened to the point of breaking - he hadn't expected Jiang Cheng to actually hurt him.

Sure, he'd threatened it a million times. Every day. He's threatened abuse, abandonment, dishonour, all of it. It seemed no matter what Jin Ling did it was always wrong. But this was the love that Jin Ling knew, just the same way that he also knew that Jiang Cheng would never actually hurt him. Never actually abandon him. That all pain was delivered emotionally rather than physically, and never so much as when Jiang Cheng was worried about him.

So when his back hit the wall, his hand at his throat, Jin Ling just looked at him with absolute terror and despair, everything suddenly so much worse than it had been a moment ago.

The man he trusted most in the world - the man he looked up to almost more like a father than an uncle - was gone. This wasn't him. There was no love, here. He'd gone from promising to be family one second to threatening to kill him the next, and Jin Ling's world shattered.

Another thing that Wei Wuxian had ruined.

Another thing that Wei Wuxian had stolen from him.

He'd taken his parents, and now he'd taken his uncle from him, too.

He cried. Great, ugly, wracking sobs that scrunched his face up hard. ]

Get out! [ He yelled, the words as broken as his heart. ] You aren't my Uncle, get out!

Edited 2020-01-12 00:32 (UTC)

[ For all he holds against Wei Wuxian's rash nature, it seems that recklessness is in fact a family trait. As soon as his nephew's tears redouble, regret strikes him full force in the chest. The protectiveness for Wei Wuxian is still there, but he remembers too late that the boy is family too. His sister's son. New to this world and cut adrift, and here he stands with a knife, severing him from the ties that bind further still.

Grimacing, Jiang Cheng grips the boy by his shoulders, mind scrambling for something to do about the situation without finding purchase. He's never known what to do when people cry. ]

Stop! Stop. Look— I'm not the uncle you remember, but I am your uncle. I don't— I don't know how being an uncle works yet, but I'll figure it out. And I didn't—

[ He absolutely meant what he said, but at the same time... ]

...I didn't mean to scare you. I just— ...whatever Wei Wuxian does [ though Jiang Cheng still can't grasp it, still can't bring himself to believe a word, ] hasn't happened yet. He's my brother, and he's a good person. You'll see when you meet him. He's an idiot through and through, but he's a good person.

[ As soon as the grip at all relaxes, Jin Ling wrenches himself away, stumbling a few feet down the wall and clutching his sword as Fairy lines herself up between them, staring down a man she'd never thought she'd have to. ]

He killed my parents! [ He hissed again, his eyes brimming with tears, his face twisted. ]

I don't -- I don't care if he's a good person! I don't care if -- If he's smart or he's funny or he's brave or-- I don't care if he cares about me!

[ Lies. Complete lies. The problem was he did care, and it was killing him slowly. ]

I don't care if he doesn't remember! Would you let Wen Chao live, if he were here? Could you stand to share air with those that destroyed Lotus Pier? How can you ask that of me!

You—

[ Jiang Cheng seethes, anger flushing hot through him once more. Even so, he bites it down, making a monumental effort for this boy he's only just met, his nephew, his sister's son. His own flesh and blood. There has been enough loss, enough bloodshed for this generation of the Yunmeng Jiangs and the next. He forces his hand to release Zidian, letting out a harsh breath as he tries to form words that aren't sharp and careless with fury. ]

He killed my parents too! He brought the Wens to Lotus Pier! [ Jiang Cheng snaps these words, then feels a sudden pang as he realizes he still believes it. Not completely, not with the vitriol of the immediate aftermath of the massacre, but neither does he find Wei Wuxian faultless. He swallows hard, eyes squeezing shut. ]

...but he didn't set out to do it, and there's no way he meant for any harm to come to your parents either! You don't know him! He loves your mother more than anyone— More— More than me some days. He'd die before he hurt her. He'd die a thousand times over, but there's no accounting for what happens at war!

[ His vision was completely blurry, and despite himself, the tears started to fall against his will. ]

You spent my whole life teaching me to hate him! [ He sobbed, shaking. ]

My whole life! I'm supposed to hate him! You wanted me to hate him! Anyone who even used his techniques, you said! No mercy!

Why would you say that then, and say this now?? You don't know! You don't know what he's done!

[ These words don't make sense to Jiang Cheng, not in the least. He's hated Wei Wuxian before. He's furious with him at least once a day. But at the end of it all, they're brothers. Jiang Cheng has always imagined that to be an unshakable bond, let Wei Wuxian get him comfortable with the idea that they will remain brothers in this life and the next.

The idea that it could even be over, and while the boy in front him was still small? If Wei Wuxian caused the death of his parents, then died at Jiang Cheng's hand... Untold years alone, hating Wei Wuxian, unable to move on or let go.

The boy is right. He doesn't know. He has no idea how to even imagine how this could come to pass. All the while his nephew is sobbing like his very life is coming apart, and Jiang Cheng is at a loss for what to do.

Perhaps it's his own clumsiness that takes his family apart. ]

Look, I don't know what happens! I don't! I just turned twenty, I just took over my sect— The things I don't know could fill a library, okay?! I don't know!

Maybe things change, maybe I change, or— Or he changes— [ But Wei Wuxian is the single most constant force he knows. ] But whatever happens, it hasn't happened yet.

We're family. You don't stop being family just because you're mad! And that means you too— You can't just say I'm not your uncle!

[ He can only half listen - spending most of his energy trying to stop himself from sobbing, and because he's trying to do that he's failing utterly. He raises his arm - still gripping his fathers sword- and swipes his sleeve over his eyes to try to force the tears away.

He doesn't understand. He doesn't understand how this is possible - how his uncle can only be a few years older than him - and he's emotionally exhausted with everything. He knows he needs to fight this - not for his own sake but for his Uncle's, for the memory of his Uncle, even if this man doesn't match.

But it's the bit about family that hits him the hardest. Of course Jiang Cheng is his Uncle. Even if he forgot him. Even if he forgot everything. He knew that. He couldn't change it, and he didn't want to, but he...

He wanted his Uncle to remember him so badly. It wasn't even really about Wei Wuxian. It was about forgetting him. Forgetting everything he'd raised him with.

He crumpled onto the floor, pulling his knees tight up against his chest, folding his arms around himself as he cried.

Jiang Cheng wasn't his uncle. He was the closest thing Jin Ling had to a father, and he didn't remember a thing about him. ]

[ Jiang Cheng never knows what to do when someone's crying. One would think he might with how often he goes to tears himself, but his nephew sobs and just like every time before, Jiang Cheng stands there like an idiot, at a loss. He tries to think, but all that comes is a mounting sense of panic that he's fucking this up and his nephew is never going to want anything to do with him again.

Finally, squeezing his eyes shut, he takes a breath and asks himself what would Wei Wuxian do? If he was here, if he saw their nephew crying. Or even just him, just them, Wei Wuxian walking in on Jiang Cheng crying his own angry tears, bristling to the touch.

Sighing, he steps up and kneels at the crying boy's side, slowly but insistently putting his arms around his nephew's shoulders, pulling him in to cry against him instead. ]

...it's okay. You're going to be okay. We'll figure things out together, I promise.

[ He pauses, swallowing hard. ]

You're my sister's child. Do you understand what that means? There's no one more loved than you in the world, no matter what's happened. And you're the most important person there is to me.

[ He crumples in against Jiang Cheng immediately, burying his face in the man’s robes and unfolding his arms in order to wrap them around his uncle tightly. He keeps sobbing against him, but he does believe those words, despite himself. Even with all the lecturing and the snapping and the threats he’s never doubted that his uncle loved him. Not for a moment.

So eventually the sobs recede, his chest still shuddering through every breath but the tears cease coming as he clings to his uncle, refusing to let go.

Eventually he’s just exhausted - weighed down by his own upset and grief.

Muttered into his uncle’s robes: ]

Do you even know my name?

[ Just when he thought he'd gotten his footing here, the boy says that and Jiang Cheng grimaces so deeply he's sure the frown lines have been etched into his soul. There's no easy way to put this, so he just confesses to it before dragging it out makes it any worse. ]

...A-Jie isn't [ wasn't...? Jiang Cheng swallows against the lump in his throat at all the things his nephew's mere existence implies, and all the greater tragedies that the boy is shouting into existence. ] the type to plan ahead her children's names. Sorry.

What should I call you?

[ He expected it, in truth, but it still hurt to hear his Uncle as him that. Like a jagged knife wound deep in his chest. But he's too exhausted from crying to have any sobs to give anymore, so he just clutches a little tighter. ]

Jin Ling. [ Still muffled by Jiang Cheng's robes. There's a slight pause, and mostly because he's homesick and desperately missing when he was younger and Jiang Cheng used to summon him as a child... ] ... a-Ling.

[ He would have never admitted the preference in other circumstances - too tough and too grown up to claim to want the pet name - but he badly wanted that note of familiarity in his Uncle's voice, even if it wasn't real. ]

...A-Ling, [ Jiang Cheng repeats, voice uncharacteristically soft as he tests his nephew's name out for the first time. Jin Ling. Without seeing the characters, what Jiang Cheng pictures is a little gold bell, is his sister holding her child and wishing him all the good there is in the world.

He doesn't let go, even as Jin Ling's cries subside, doesn't know if he can, is no longer even sure of which one of them is the comforted party. ]

A-Ling, [ he says again, firmer now, giving his nephew a tight squeeze as he swallows. ] Look, I can't change that I'm only twenty, or that I don't remember the life we had. But I'm here for you. I want to know everything there is to know about you. Okay?

Whatever you tell me, I'll remember. I promise.

[ It isn't true, he thinks. Not that he thinks his Uncle is lying to him, but rather that he really doesn't want to know. He won't want to know about how he instructed him to kill practitioners of Wei Wuxian's magic without mercy, won't want to know about how he had to raise him nearly single-handed another with his other Uncle. Won't want to know how often he's bullied because of his parents being dead. Won't want to know how he doesn't think his Uncle ever recovered, from Wei Wuxian's betrayal.

The future is too heavy and he doesn't think he can separate his life out of the lives that Wei Wuxian took.

How can he possibly expect his uncle to love him fully, to know him fully, if he won't accept what Wei Wuxian did?

But he's so tired and he doesn't want the hug to end - it felt even better than the few ones he'd gotten in recent memory. Something warm bleeding in through his skin everywhere he was touched. He didn't want to move. ]

I don't know if I should tell you anything, [ He admitted in a mumble. ]

...if it's about Wei Wuxian, [ Jiang Cheng sighs, feeling a pang of guilt at how badly he upset his nephew with his reaction while at the same time torn over the fact that Wei Wuxian is all he really has here. He smooths a hand over Jin Ling's hair, giving a hard swallow as he tries to think of how to handle this better. What kind of tenderness his sister might offer. What kind of stupidity Wei Wuxian would spout. He actually manages a ghost of a smile just thinking about it. If only the three of them, or even just two of them had been able to raise this child, everything would be so different.

Anyone but just him.

Anyone but him.

You'll never be anything compared to him, his mother voice reminds him, sharp and cutting in his mind.

He swallows it down, swallows it down again. ]

...can we just forget him for now? Tell me about what you like. What you're good at. What you're proud of. What kind of man do want to be, A-Ling?

[ But everything in his life comes back to Wei Wuxian somehow, doesn't it? He can't tell him anything that happened recently, that much is obvious.

What kind of man do you want to be? he asks, and Jin Ling feels his heart constrict.

He finally pulls back out of the hug despite not wanting to, lifting his sleeve to run it over his face and dry the tears that still waited there.

Then he looks at the floor and mumbles: ]

I only ever wanted to live up to you.

[ He lets that hang for a second before it makes him so uncomfortable that his skin starts to crawl. One admittance too much. ]

So it doesn't matter. Isn't it easier to just start new?

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