prismaticrap | ▶ TDM .007

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▶ TDM .007

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"Blue Oyster Cult - Shooting Shark" (Watch on YouTube)

You awaken amidst the darkness with only a faint light to greet you. Your body is hemmed in by shards of crystals, gently sparkling and possibly pricking your skin. The surrounding landscape is dyed in the pinks and purples of the dusk filled with crystals protruding from the ground, some as large as a skyscraper. Even the few shy moon creatures you find in the wild have strange crystal growths on their hides. This is far from home— perhaps a dream? You pinch your skin and slap your cheeks, yet nothing seems to do the trick. Searching for answers yields nothing but an endless expanse of purple dust as far as the eye can see. You have four options: one, panic; two, soil yourself; three, admire it all then soil yourself; or four, go into survival mode. Eventually, you’ll realize that you’re not alone.

▶ Keep all Hands and Feet inside the Burning Vehicle at all Times
Iris Moon, Government Center (Arrival) and Outer Space | top

After a day or two of living off the crystal wilderness, a group of people find you worse for wear. They are the gallant Moon Knights from the planet of Prismatica. After the strange phenomenon during the past months when scientists observed the sudden appearance of rainbow crystals in the sky, the government has been feverishly combing through the moon for more Moonblessed to be rescued. You’ll eventually be brought into Iris’s moon government center.

You all may have your usual inquiries — Where are we? Who are you? What's going on? Why did I mix tequila with xanax last night? — and the Prismals are almost too eager to answer. They tell you about their world and about the first appearance of the Moonblessed as the medical staff give you an examination to make sure you’re not carrying any viruses or biological hazards. If you react violently, you may be restrained and nerfed with a specialized neurotransmitting gun that releases a numbing agent through the top of your spine. Once the examinations are over, you’re informed that you will be provided accommodations on their planet during your stay.

While waiting for transport to be prepared, you may freely roam around the government center. Eventually you’re called back from exploring, escorted to the docks, and led onto a large transport vessel that makes frequent trips back and forth between the moons and the planet. Faces onboard vary from both old and new Moonblessed as well as Prismal locals. The next destination: Prismatica.

A. After settling into the ship and selecting the current in-flight movie, Back Door Slugs 9, you and those around you may eventually feel a bit of turbulence during the movie’s highly anticipated climax. Did anyone notice it, or is everyone too focused on the hot characters?

At first, it’s a small jitter that’s easy to miss or brush off. But as the transport vessel travels on, the shaking progressively escalates to erratic tremors strong enough to cause severe nausea. A minute later, a voice over the speaker announces the ship will have to make an emergency landing, citing technical difficulties.

Sparks can be seen overhead as more ship parts malfunction. This is a good time to hold your neighbor’s hand, say your last goodbyes, and apologize for that horrible thing you did in the sixth grade. Grip your seat with the might of every god you can think of.

B. Another minute later, a follow-up announcement states that external entities have breached the transport vessel. Everyone is warned to be careful and watch out for each other. Small fires will have to be put out before they worsen with either magic or emergency equipment onboard such as extinguishers. In-flight robotic attendants will be scuttling around to perform immediate repairs.

Eventually, an entire power panel bursts, and prismatic jellyfish unnaturally spill out. The jellyfish will try to latch and suction onto any technological devices close by such as the television screens on the seats or communicators and will show preference to Iris Moonblessed over the rest. Be ready to help and pull numerous jellyfish off both the faces of Moonblessed and Prismals!

▶ Jaws IV: Jaws Harder
Planet Prismatica, Outer Lunatia | top

The emergency landing successfully completes and the transport vessel will safely land on top of a gorgeous lake filled with tiny glaciers floating by. When reached out and touched, you’ll find out that the “glaciers” are surprisingly cool crystals and not ice.

The ship will be left hovering idly on the water surface while passengers are ferried to solid ground using portable emergency boats. However, civilization is still a distance away.

A. You’ve probably heard of flying sharks from a veteran Moonblessed. But how about sea lions? These aquatic lions are born with scaly skin and gills outside of their crystallized manes. Unfortunately, they haven’t tasted fresh meat in quite some time. If there are any injured onboard or near your boat, the chances of the sea lions detecting people will be higher as they are drawn to the scent of blood. Growling hungrily, they will be quick to latch onto the boats, biting the edges, and trying to knock everyone overboard for dinner.

After surviving through so far, the Prismals guide everyone to a nearby encampment run by humanoid rabbits. They are tall, built, and have a habit of mentioning their virility an awkward amount of times. They are also generous and will share their game meat and fresh crops while allowing everyone to rest for the night at the only inn in their village.

B. There is no running water all the way out here, so if anyone wants a bath, they’ll have to do it traditionally. The village protects a natural spring, which is a good place to bathe away the sea water. Around the spring, the rabbit folk’s friends — little scintilla chinchillas — will shock away any predators that dare to approach their sanctuary! Be at ease and feel free to offer your friends shampoo massages.

The next day, the rabbits can be seen hacking away at some of the wilder-looking plants for an easier pathway. If you wake up early enough, you can ask some of them for a tour of the beautiful greenery. They mention that it’s thanks to the Moonblessed that their crops have been doing so well lately — the result of all the chroma influx. The rest of the journey to the city will be smooth sailing.

▶ It’s Free Real-Estate
Level 2, City of Lunatia | top

Welcome to Prismatica’s hub, Lunatia, the city of your dreams! A bustling metropolis lush with bright lights, vibrant colors, luxuriant plant life, and all the conveniences of technology absent from your own world… It seems like paradise to all the uninitiated. After a quick tour of the city, new arrivals can find themselves getting cozy in their new homes.

A. Find new roommates and say hello to your neighbors! City officials will give you directions to the designated districts across Level 2 and instruct you to pick out a unit. Each apartment complex has a different aesthetic, some may look cozy, some stylish, and some bizarre. The free accommodations have a basic living space that can only fit two or three people at most in one unit.

Starter Chromaspace furnishings are provided which can be controlled with the touch of a built-in panel. Examples are color-changing curtains, transforming sofa beds, cabinets turning into tables, etc. Customizing your apartment or moving out will have to wait until you earn more chroma. Until then, why don’t you check out your new neighborhood or explore the city levels? Maybe your new roommates or neighbors can give you a “hand” with allowance for dinner.

B. A new high-end boutique, Prissy Polyp, has opened in Level 2. As compensation for what happened, both Moonblessed and Prismals that were affected in yesterday’s flight will receive 50% off their total purchase. Those unaffected will receive 30% discount coupons as a promotional gift. All are encouraged to visit with their friends or special someone, try on some things together, ~~enjoy each other in the fitting rooms~~, and deal with the loud, ear-blistering background pop music.

Their clothing collections are characterized by bright iridescent designs, some features such as design patterns may glow ethereally in the dark. One of their signature dresses features a one piece (also available on their trench coats) that can amplify the appearance of one’s decolletage, gluteal muscles, and/or bulge with the press of a neon button. Another item among their collection is the maiden sweater: a sleek, backless sweater that shocks those who attempt unwanted touches. Others include skin-tight leggings (also available on their shorts or pants) which produce pleasant and relaxing vibrations on all lower extremities and fashionable polyp-shaped hats for all kinds of people. It’s a huge shop, you never know what else to find in there.

▶ Questions
If you have any questions regarding this test drive meme, please ask them in the Questions thread below.

▶ IMPORTANT! By request, we've uploaded image samples for the Prissy Polyp clothing collections! Note these are merely samples for a visual guide and we will leave more selections to players.

▶ As a reminder, test drive memes are for new characters only. However, current players are more than welcome to use these prompts for their own posts in the IC communities, personal inboxes, catch-all posts, etc.!
▶ As our test drive memes are game canon, feel free to keep any threads that happen here as canon for your character should they be accepted.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

KEEP ALL HANDS AND FEET INSIDE THE BURNING VEHICLE AT ALL TIMES - A + B

[ bro's had a bit to get used to this whole alien bullshit thing. his lil bro came from a fucking meteor, while also being his son, of which he is fully aware, thank you, and also so did he? and then there was...

sburb. he's aware. he's also aware that he should be dead, which seems less problematic than it should be when he wakes up on an alien planet, alone, and has to fend for himself.

he's good at that, at least.

once they're all in the government center though, he doesn't ask questions. he just listens to other people asking questions, getting information the old-fashioned way: eavesdropping. his expression never changes, which is probably kind of weird, and he has stupid pointy shades and a hat on, but that's just how it is.

he even has a popped collar.

what a fucking dick.

anyway, he boards the ship. that's fine.

the fact that the in-flight movie is slugs fucking is the funniest goddamn thing he's ever seen.

he doesn't laugh. he doesn't even crack a smile. but he does watch, arms crossed over his chest. the turbulence is an issue, but he doesn't comment on that either, just tenses minutely, preparing, a tightness in his shoulders.

he seems absolutely fucking unsurprised when shit goes down, and gets up to tend to some goddamn business. which appears to be jellyfish. now, he's pretty unconcerned with other people around him, as a whole, but apparently the damn things are really attracted to him, as one tries to suction onto his face, setting his glasses askew. he pulls it off, easily, and seems to--briefly disappear and appear elsewhere, when another lunges at him, but these are close quarters.

at one point he turns, and there's a fucking katana in his hand, where did it come from, but point is, if there's a jellyfish on you he cuts it off, slicing the poor thing in half, without a word or expression change. it's hard to tell behind his glasses, but he seems to be inspecting, like he's making sure jellyfish facefucking didn't give you a chestburster or anything.

mostly he's curious. ]

JAWS IV: JAWS HARDER - B

[ now this is some goddamn anime bullshit. just how he likes it. a hot spring, rabbit chicks (and dudes), and some serenity.

so, naturally, he's going to take a bath. his hat is gone, and his blond hair is gelled into a mess from the ruckus, which he's taking care of later, but his glasses are still on, no contest. if you're curious, his arms and torso are covered in scars, and there's one in particular that looks like he's been fully impaled. yeah, that's a death scar.

he'll acknowledge, at least, if you join him, with a slight nod. ]

IT’S FREE REAL-ESTATE - A

[ if you wanna try to room with him, cool, but point here is he's weird, and oddly silent, and his idea of decorating is pulling a couple puppets out of his sylladex and setting them around the unit. puppets with noses that look like dicks and have large plush rumps. it's awful. he's the worst. dirk strider is the worst man alive.

dead? he's still processing that, actually.

hell, he might just not appear to be there when you show up, but with a quick shift, show up behind you, completely unnerving and inappropriate. ]

Hey.

[ he doesn't do well with roommates, even when they're family. ]

IT’S FREE REAL-ESTATE - B

[ ok, this guy is tall, and broad, and he's fresh and clean and he's got on a pair of black slacks, a white polo with the collar popped, black fingerless gloves, pointy anime shades, and a hat. yes, we know. prime douchebag.

he's currently looking at a maiden sweater, for reasons unknown, since his outfit is dumb as fuck, and as he checks the price tag, he cants his head. just a little.

when he speaks, it's mostly to himself, but it's audible. ]

So everything really does cost fuckbucks here.

[ there's a texas twang to it, houston in particular if you're familiar, but that's not the point.

fuckbucks. ]

There's been such a long, happy time of which he's not had to look over his shoulder and wonder what that feeling is at the back of his neck. That tingling sensation that tells him if he's about to be ambushed or that something is up. It's been great, just halfass being paranoid on a meteor where there was little to no threat. He could even go to the fridge like he had been now, open it up, like he had been now, and even take things out of it that weren't weapons. Just like now!

Only, the difference is, at this current time, he's in some shorts and a t-shirt that actually doesn't have a symbol on it and above all... there's a feeling. That dead feeling in the center of his gut and the dread that normally came along with-- No. Nah. It's just because he's doing something that happened to be familiar in a way that--

Whatever he had in his hand was leaking its apple-y contents onto the floor and he was already half way across the room to where he'd left his sword in the blink of an eye. Perhaps the same sort of time frame his eyes were manifesting, darting around the room and his fight or flight had lost all sense of flight until he spies just who made that familiar gesture.

Oh fuck no.
No no no. No.
He's heard of this but he's been tracking down the person he's supposed to have talked to about the dead coming back and hasn't been able to yet. After a few attempted wheeze noises and maybe a small flail of a wrist not holding a sword he manages the best thing he can come up with that resembles all the feelings at once. "What the fuck are you doing here?!"

Well.

That's not an answer.

But that's also not a reaction Dave had had to him, say, before Sburb, so that neatly explains where they stand on the timelines thing. He watches the panic, the flailing, and something, briefly, at the base of his gut, twitches, because Dave's always been kind of neurotic but not like this.

He reaches out.

Stops.

Drops his hand back to his side.

His expression never changes.

But he also doesn't get ready to strife, either, much as he thinks it'd be some fucking stress relief. The way Dave is looking at him is too distracting, even behind his shades.

"I don't know."

That's probably the most honest thing he's ever said.

As soon as he's done trying to figure out if he should pinch himself or maybe grab a fork to make sure the job is done and he's honestly dreaming, Bro is reaching out and Dave is tensing instantly. He doesn't fear him, he fears not being ready to act if that hand does more than just raise. It's when those dangerous hands do more than just gesture that someone has to make in order to seemingly back down.

Back down and not grab a weapon instantly from a hidden place with a bellowed psyche and a charge forward, or the order to the roof. There's not really a good strife roof on this place, but that's never stopped a Strider from a good fight. Except this time. Alright, he has to calm himself down and it takes him a second to make sure this was real. He's god damn keenly aware of the blood and copper scent in his nose that he had to kneel right beside looking down at this guys dead fucking body.

"Alright." What else is he supposed to say. "Since you don't know what the hell you're doing here, you could maybe explain how the fuck you ended up here." Saying that his ectobiological father was dead doesn't seem like a good idea right then. "I'm really not in the mood for you to pull your shit either, Bro so just..." He sets his sword down, they hadn't allowed his sylladex and he's been trying to not scare the locals carrying his sword around. "I'm going to trust you're not going to be at least a level eleven douche bag and you're going to stick to like a level three one instead."

Edited 2019-09-10 03:32 (UTC)

Bro seems to consider that a moment by literally doing a thinking man pose without his expression changing. How did you ever look up to him. Anyway, he looks at Dave for a long moment, considering, saying nothing, and it looks, for all intents and purposes, that he might be back to his old bullshit.

But then he answers in a low drawl.

"I died," he starts, and he's oddly calm about that, but in a way that's cracked around the edges, because that Fuck beat him, killed him. How dare he. He had shit to do. Strings to pull.

He crosses his arms over his chest, finally shrugging, and we're having a goddamn emotions fest in comparison to usual, because he continues. "I wasn't sure if this was some weird fuck paradise version of the afterlife or not," said with as much irony as he can muster, because, lol, religion, "but from what I gathered, not everyone here is dead."

A beat.

"Wondered if you were here."

That's all. No comment on the level of asshole he's going to exist at, though. He's still contemplating. Also no commentary on if he was worried about him or not. Curiosity. That's all, surely.

As long as the old bullshit isn't coming at him shuriken first, Dave can handle it. So far it's been like at least two minutes and he hasn't had to dodge a metal projectile of some sort. That may as well be a new record for him and Bro. "I know you died." he says with the same sort of lack of emotion visually, but a similar sort of uncharacteristic venom at nothing in particular. Not Bro, not the situation, just that he's got to say what he's got to say because this place thinks its funny as fuck to bring Bro here. First, kidnaps him away from the literal fucking prize he's been fighting for and now this? Fuck.

Normally, his eyes wouldn't stray from the older Strider but he can't look him in the face. He can't or the flood of things he wants to say aren't going to stop and none of them are going to help this situation. Weird as fuck paradise isn't something he shares with the other man on what this place is, but at least Karkat is there too. Dave thought, frighteningly enough, that he was there on his own. This, however, he could do witho--

Then again, even as he's listening, he feels bad for being upset that his counterpart is here. If he weren't here, wouldn't he be dead? Not everyone here is dead which means that he's alive if he's talking that way. Further is the admission that he wondered if Dave was here. That's the closest to concern he's shown the younger of the two in like a decade. More than a decade. Or it feels like a decade.

"Well. I'm here, your curiosities are satiated, drink down the spoils of figuring out where I was and then scaring the shit out of me." Quickly after, he a continues, "Not an afterlife, I'm not dead." Technically, considering he's godtiered. "I heard there's people here who were and now they're not, but that's all I know." He says with a little flourish of fingers which have no real meaning other than a gesture to feel like his muscles can still move. "Fucking confirmed, I guess."

There's been no attack and there's been a multitude of times where there could have been, so Dave moves back toward the fridge, picking up the jug to save what little contents it had left and try to find a rag or something. He pauses in his journey to find something to start cleaning up and just looks over his shoulder, turning slowly to stand squarely instead. "You got yourself fucking killed." years of abusive behaviour weren't being ignored, but this is the only parent he's ever known. Even at that, never a parent and always a brother. "How fucking stupid is it to get yourself fucking killed." Not a question a statement.

He doesn't have any shurikens on him, thanks to how he showed up, so there's no risk of that until he can find some. He's got a sword, and some puppets, and that's about it. Lil Cal is long gone, obviously, and there's a weird ache in him from the lack, has been all this time, that's more than just attachment to an object, and he's, for the first time, feeling kind of uneasy about that.

Honestly, he would deserve any vitriol Dave threw his way, really, even if Bro doesn't see it that way. Everything he did, he did for a reason. Sometimes dumb reasons, sometimes horrible ones, but--reasons.

It's not an excuse. He doesn't want or need to explain himself. Dave had to learn young how to survive, and Dirk knew that he wouldn't always be there for him, so he forced things. Pushed things.

He watches Dave, and he wonders, just a little, about if things could have been different. Without the knowledge that Dave needed to protect himself, would he have raised him differently? He doesn't know, and that feels oddly haunting.

"You'd better not be dead," he says, which is oddly vehement in contrast to his placid tone when he speaks. He's feeling weird, and he hates it: he hates feeling at all, honestly, and this is kind of rough.

He should initiate strife, or fucking abscond, just check in on him once in a while, but he stands still, rooted to the spot.

"You're right," he says, after a long fucking pause. "It was fucking stupid. Cardinal fucking sin. Underestimating your opponent. That's me." The guy committing the sin, not the opponent. Both?

Both.

"You're better than that."

It's not a suggestion, it's a statement. Either he really trusts in the skills he's instilled in Dave, or he's admitting that Dave's outgrown him. From the way he looks away, being the first to break shades-contact for the first time probably ever, probably the latter.

Pushed things is a gentle way of putting it. Dave has had to earn almost everything he's ever gotten and this exchange is one of those things that has him wondering too many things all at once. He can't even say what he wants to say because half of it he's not sure how much is just painful memory and how much of it is actually how he feels.

In fact, so visceral is the reaction to want to tell him he can't tell Dave what to do anymore that he almost shoots back with an 'I can be dead if I want to' but catches himself and forces his own jaw shut before turning and letting the older man talk. Rag in hand, he kneels down to start getting the juice up off the floor at its edges, his whole domestic act stopping in its tracks hearing that he's right. Even more that his shoulders sink when it comes to his attention that he's better than underestimating his opponent.

Speaking of shoulders, there's a distinct feeling of disappointment in himself and he's wondering if this is the same sort of manipulation he went through as a younger teen. "Whatever." is all he could manage while standing up to wring out the cloth and repeating his descent back down to the spot again. He could do it at sonic speeds, but what for? "I'm better than a lot of shit now."

Some part of him wishes he could just be happy that he's alive. Maybe he should just say that. "The only good part about this shit, Bro, is that you're not dead. I'm not the same scared kid you fucked off into the big permanent convenience shop in the sky." Yes he is, but he's trying hard not to show it. If Dirk's voice was anything close to authority, Dave wouldn't be able to do anything but follow the order. He's being given lenience and he can feel it, and just like his Big Bro, Dave is pushing the boundaries. Pushing things, so to speak.

Mess mopped up and Dave throws the wet towel into the sink, trying to think of what to say while he washes his hands. "If all you wanted to know is if I was here," he begins, turning off the water and drying his hands on his shorts. "Then why'd you come here? Why are you here, here? You got nowhere else to go?"

That would have been, hands down, one of the stupidest fucking things Dave ever said, so congrats on locking that down before you said it, buddy.

And--yeah, on some level it's manipulation, what Dirk's doing. Testing. But perhaps surprisingly, it's not as selfish as one would imagine. He needs to know things, wants to know, and he's genuinely relieved that Dave isn't some dead fuckup like him.

This is fine.

"Yeah? Sure you are. You've always been good at shit, dumbass. You think a Strider's bad at things?" He can tell that Dave is older than he remembers, but not how much, so he's curious about that but not about to ask. So he's going to mask it with stupid bullshit, as usual.

A pause. He considers, for a moment, lying, then decides against it.

"Heard people talking about meeting people from their homes that were... Different. Not right. Off, you know. Wanted to know if you were the right one. Same one, anyway."

You the right one, Dave?

Sometimes even Dave knows how stupid the things that come out of his mouth are.

On the topic of Dirk saying things and Dave taking the direct order, being asked that question in that succession Dave answers a small "No..." He knows his place in that question and his place, even if he thought a yes, which he doesn't, is to answer no. Strider-types aren't "bad" at things, pure bred ones like him and Dirk? Even less bad at things, even if Rose is pretty damn awesome which he won't admit out loud. Well, unless those things are emotions and actually talking shit through, then they're absolute trash at it.

His eyes track down to his feet, bare on his floor and leaning against the sink as Bro throws him another question without an actual question. "I don't know." he answers in kind, just like he had gotten earlier from his guardian. It's an honest answer. "I could find out if I could do more than jump just on this timeli--"

It occurs to him that Dirk has no idea about the shit he's been through and how not many of his home made Saw-esque death traps were helpful aside agility and strength and probably everything Dave is disregarding. "I'm not off, I'm not different, you died and I grew up. You stayed dead and I kept living and now you're back after being dead while I kept living. Sound right enough to you or do you wanna go have a look around for a better Dave?"

Look, we're not talking emotions or having real conversations. Striders are good at like everything else, so it's fine. Super fine. Not weird or bad at all.

ANYWAY.

He listens, because he's good at being quiet, and he processes. He just fucking stands there, while Dave... what? Assumes he's in it for The Perfect Dave, casting one or another aside looking for the strongest?

Okay, that does sound like him. Man, he's a cunt.

But that's not his point. "Who knows," he says, finally, "maybe I'm the one that's off." Which, okay, he has a point. But then: "You think this is about better or worse, and I don't blame you. That's not what I meant. Anyway, even if we're not from the same timeline, you're still Dave."

Still his bro. It's fine.

A beat, and he finally asks:

"How old are you now, kid?"

How long has he been dead?

dirk "bro" strider (pre-scratch). homestuck. iris.

IT’S FREE REAL-ESTATE - A (Because he's just gotten comfortable not looking over his shoulder)

laughs poor dave

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IT’S FREE REAL-ESTATE - B // 👀

i would apologize but that would be a lie

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it's free real estate, b!

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KEEP ALL HANDS AND FEET INSIDE THE BURNING VEHICLE AT ALL TIMES