caesar 'spicy boy' zeppeli (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
casaposa) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
prismaticrap2020-08-26 07:27 pm
casaposa) wrote in prismaticrap2020-08-26 07:27 pm
1. In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
2. I did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do.
3. The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow.
4. You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
5. Text him!
2. I did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do.
3. The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow.
4. You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
5. Text him!
o1. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
o2. You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
o3. I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
o4. not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
o5. Text him some shenanigans
01. What's the life or death situation?
02. Bought a protein shake from a gas station and the guy asked me if it gives you the boost you need and I said what
03. I WILL KICK YOU IN THE THROAT IF YOU TOUCH MY GUNS
04. If it looks like I was wearing men's sweatpants it was because I was wearing men's sweatpants.
05. I'll give you some leg action, but that's all I'm showing you.
06. [ Or, text her! ]
02. Bought a protein shake from a gas station and the guy asked me if it gives you the boost you need and I said what
03. I WILL KICK YOU IN THE THROAT IF YOU TOUCH MY GUNS
04. If it looks like I was wearing men's sweatpants it was because I was wearing men's sweatpants.
05. I'll give you some leg action, but that's all I'm showing you.
06. [ Or, text her! ]
1: i'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camouflage to go hunting
should i bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
2: i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
3: then she told me
and i quote
i want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react
5: it's like my butt was the only innocence i had left and now i don't even have that
6: text him!
should i bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
2: i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
3: then she told me
and i quote
i want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react
5: it's like my butt was the only innocence i had left and now i don't even have that
6: text him!
Edited 2020-08-27 01:12 (UTC)
Something tells me I should find this ridiculous
But that sounds a bit interesting I have to admit
But that sounds a bit interesting I have to admit
1. I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
2. What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
3. I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
4. Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
5. [text him!]
2. What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
3. I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
4. Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
5. [text him!]
Now I want to know who he was for your shame to last that long.
1. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening.
2. I just found a sign outside of my brother's door: "Not going to church today". I looked in and he is covered in vomit in his bed...
3. I found him crawling across the garden. He smiled and then passed out.
4. My stomach is making the worst sounds. It is probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
2. I just found a sign outside of my brother's door: "Not going to church today". I looked in and he is covered in vomit in his bed...
3. I found him crawling across the garden. He smiled and then passed out.
4. My stomach is making the worst sounds. It is probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
1. I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon.... it was in my fridge.
2. You should not be involved with someone who smells like that.
3. The ass gains better be worth it.
4. How do you run in to a glass door three times in a row?
5. Text her some non sense
1. We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
2. He bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think he has zombie.
3. We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
4. He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
5. It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
2. He bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think he has zombie.
3. We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
4. He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
5. It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
1. I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
2. I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
3. I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car.
4. I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of a french dude.
5. I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you.
2. I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
3. I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car.
4. I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of a french dude.
5. I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you.
1. what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
2. as nice as a partner sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack
3. sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
4. when do you think the murder is going to happen in this lifetime movie of ours?
5. i had a terrible day. the only thing that makes me feel better is knowing hijikata's day was worse
6. hey, sorry I choked you last night. i was just really excited to see you.
7. [text him!]
2. as nice as a partner sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack
3. sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
4. when do you think the murder is going to happen in this lifetime movie of ours?
5. i had a terrible day. the only thing that makes me feel better is knowing hijikata's day was worse
6. hey, sorry I choked you last night. i was just really excited to see you.
7. [text him!]
1) If your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
2) I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
3) When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
4) I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
5) They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
6) Text him!
2) I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
3) When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
4) I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
5) They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
6) Text him!
1. Just because we had sex doesn't mean we're friends.
2. She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
3. Your clever response has earned you a blowjob this week
4. I've been ignoring his texts because last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
5. Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
6. I just found a champagne bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
7. [ text her ]
2. She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
3. Your clever response has earned you a blowjob this week
4. I've been ignoring his texts because last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
5. Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
6. I just found a champagne bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
7. [ text her ]
1) Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
2) I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
3) I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
4) I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
5) Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
6) Text her!
2) I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
3) I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
4) I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
5) Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
6) Text her!
1. Yeah the cops just showed up...
2. Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
3. Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy.
4. It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. Yet.
5. Text or misfires here!
2. Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
3. Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy.
4. It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. Yet.
5. Text or misfires here!
Edited 2020-08-27 02:04 (UTC)
1. Dear God! Are you going to the hospital?
2. Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
3. Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
4. I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird stuff.
5. Txt him!
2. Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
3. Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
4. I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird stuff.
5. Txt him!
1. But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
2. I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
3. I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
4. I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
5. Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
6. Text him.
2. I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
3. I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
4. I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
5. Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
6. Text him.
1. Did you forget your coat at my apartment or was it meant to be a gift?
2. I have exactly 23 books on the topic of sexual injuries in my collection. Which one do you need?
3. Do you require assistance with body disposal?
4. You seem to be unaware of the fact that I can see through you in a literal sense.
5. Text him!
2. I have exactly 23 books on the topic of sexual injuries in my collection. Which one do you need?
3. Do you require assistance with body disposal?
4. You seem to be unaware of the fact that I can see through you in a literal sense.
5. Text him!
Edited 2020-08-27 02:07 (UTC)
1. My phone says I texted someone at 0400 and said let’s fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
2. Going to jail. Be home late.
3. I’ve achieved a new state of being which is sustained only by coffee and unrelenting rage.
4. We can get business drunk and go play golf.
5. text??? him????
2. Going to jail. Be home late.
3. I’ve achieved a new state of being which is sustained only by coffee and unrelenting rage.
4. We can get business drunk and go play golf.
5. text??? him????
1. i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
2. How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
3. She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
4. She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
2. How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
3. She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
4. She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
kissing is a lot of fun so only once
what's taking so long??
what's taking so long??
01) who put hoof pick in cold box? ... is i???
02) perhaps human apartment bathtub is not meant for jinba to enter... how much is costing to fix bathtub...
03) i make feast amount of food and no know why... please send mouth help
04) 🌳🍃❤️💖💜🙇♂️🌾!!!
02) perhaps human apartment bathtub is not meant for jinba to enter... how much is costing to fix bathtub...
03) i make feast amount of food and no know why... please send mouth help
04) 🌳🍃❤️💖💜🙇♂️🌾!!!
1. letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
2. You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
3. I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
4. Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
5. I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
6. Text her!
2. You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
3. I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
4. Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
5. I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
6. Text her!
1. The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
2. I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
3. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
4. I would totally suck a dick for good poutine right now
5. text him
2. I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
3. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
4. I would totally suck a dick for good poutine right now
5. text him
1. You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection.
2. You were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
3. Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
4. I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today. It reminded me of you.
5. Text her!
2. You were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
3. Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
4. I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today. It reminded me of you.
5. Text her!
1. I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon. It was in the fridge.
2. You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
3. If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike Horton.
4. Never thought I’d use my technological expertise for teledildonics, but here I am.
5. I don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
6. (TEXT HIM!)
2. You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
3. If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike Horton.
4. Never thought I’d use my technological expertise for teledildonics, but here I am.
5. I don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
6. (TEXT HIM!)
1. Will exercising make me less horny?
2. I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
3. Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those handcuffs.
4. How external is "for external use only"?
[or text him!]
2. I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
3. Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those handcuffs.
4. How external is "for external use only"?
[or text him!]
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